I squirted my hungover husband in the face with water

[Hormonallyblessed]

Im 8 weeks pregnant with DC #3 and really struggling with pregnancy sickness, tiredness and headaches - i agreed my DH could go out last night with work colleagues for his leaving do while i picked up DCs, took them swimming, fed and bathed them and put them to bed (and cleaned up then straight to bed myself).
He got back drunk at 1am and didnt get up in the night when 1 DC fell out of bed and then when the other DC needed covers pulled up then later wet themselves. All this i can deal with.
This morning kids wanted to get up at 6am and DH completely refused to get up. Said he wasnt getting up and to leave him alone. I said no way he had to get up with us as im on the verge of vomiting and he needs to be with us to help. He kept refusing. Kids tried to get him up he refused. Told us to fuck off etc. So I took my Evian water bottle and squirted his face and upper back while he was in bed. This made him sit up (he was furious) but he then lay back down so i squirted him again and said id keep doing it until he got up. He did then get up.
I'm not planning to apologise. Was this unreasonable?!

Would it have been beyond DH though? OP also didn’t say she couldn’t be with the kids, she said she wanted him to join her and the kids to help out.

This!

Red flags when they start being “nice” all the time when they never used to be. OH who’s a psychologist says it’s often a sign of men who’ve cheated as they feel guilty. (Just a side note).

And as someone else said, he could easily have a slight tummy bug, or a cold, or any number of minor (or more major) ailments but would still suck it up for a couple of hours after a special night out.

So she could manage perfectly well and she still tried to get ho out of bed by squirting water? This doesn’t make her look better. It was very early morning after an agreed special night out for the DH. Watching tv until 8 or 9 to let him get a decent amount of sleep would have been the reasonable course of action.
As people have said - assuming he’d do the same.

But nah, he was just on the piss and chose to get himself into such a state he couldn't fulfil basic parenting duties in the morning, and planned to dump his unwell pregnant wife with all the duties while telling his kids to fuck off.

So he was in the wrong and then became verbally abusive about it.

Glad we've cleared that up

This 👏

We don’t know he was ‘on the piss’. We don’t know he was in such a state he couldn’t fulfil basic parenting duties. We know he went to a one off event and got some degree of drunk and the; didn’t want to get up after being in bed for 5 hours. He shouldn’t have sworn. That doesn’t make the OP reasonable.

Yep we absolutely 100% do as the title is hungover husband.

But you already know this.

And either he was an abusive prick because he's incredibly lazy and selfish, or because he was so bladdered he couldn't manage to get up.

Either way he's behaved like a selfish wanker refused to do basic parental duties ignored his kids' needs in the night, ignored his wife being sick and pregnant and then became verbally abusive.

Glad we've cleared that up :)

The title says that, yes. But that doesn’t mean ‘on the piss’ or ‘incapable’.
the key thing is that it was 6 am. Hangover or no hangover that’s not a reasonable time to get someone up who has been on an agreed event and only got in at 1am. Especially when there’s no real need.
And please stop with the infantile endings to posts.

I would be annoyed if I had to get up during the night with the kids and was pregnant and wrecked and my DH told me to fuck off. Throwing water was unacceptable behaviour though. Seems strange to want a 3rd child if this is the type of dynamic in the household

As I said, I wouldn't enforce 'taking turns'. No matter what time of day or night.

Most people would be tired after a few drinks and getting in at 1 being woken at 6 even if they didn’t “get bladdered” . I certainly wouldn’t expect my oh to get up during the night after a night out . We take it in turns getting up and it would go without saying the other person would get up if one of us was on a night out the night before.
I don’t excuse the abusive language when op asked for help in the morning, which was completely uncalled for.
the throwing of water is absolutely unacceptable behaviour regardless . It seems like there is poor communication all around here .

Well, that's him punished for daring to got out and have a good time.

I don't say tgis often, but poor DH.

(Opinion based on the detail of the op)

@theicebear Nope, he was hungover. Getting yourself into such a state you are unable or simply being unwilling to do your basic parental duties is not a choice when you are a parent.

He doesn't get to do that.

And it doesn't matter why he was an abusive prick - whether he was so munted he couldn't get up or just too selfish and inconsiderate to want to - he had absolutely no right to try to dump his sick, pregnant wife with his share of the duties and ignore his children during the night then shout abuse at them in the morning.

His selfishness and verbal abuse was absolutely disgusting.

Glad we've cleared that up :)

Look, there's actually no argument here at all.

We all know her hungover husband was a selfish, abusive prick, whether because he was so munted he couldn't perform his basic duties or because he chose not to perform his basic duties. We all know he was in the wrong, and we all know some of you will break your backs turning into a pretzel to try to turn a badly behaved man into a victim.

There's no more to be said about it, so no need to keep repeating the same nonsense over and over.

Won't be checking back. If you disagree with me you're wrong. So that's that :)

Actually we haven’t cleared it up at all. Being hungover in itself after a night out isn’t a crime. Rude behaviour such as cursing and also throwing water at your spouse are the problem here . I have to say you sound incredibly joyless. Being a parent doesn’t mean you can’t ever have a night out again.

This

like I said, keep bending over backwards to excuse men! I’m in a healthy long term relationship where we both help each other out and pick up the slack, which would include my DH picking up the slack in the morning if I had done so the night before and overnight 😊 so unsure why you’re hazarding this guess but I can see you like to make assumptions

I’m not excusing men. I’m saying in this instance OP was unreasonable. I’d say the same if the sexes were reversed (and to even it up the DH had a stomach upset/other ailment).

Where has the OP gone……..

I think there's certainly a swell of defence for the husband from people who value their own right to get drunk and not be bothered with the DC in the morning and who are projecting. However, the pregnancy illness does create a different context. I'd have thought most people even with a hangover would have got up, at least for a while, to help their partner if they were unwell, surely? And certainly not told their partner AND children to fuck off?
Plus there have been a slew of two line posts from people just parroting 'That's abuse that is!' 'You're disgusting, you are', which add nothing of substance and are clearly just designed to have a go at the OP.
Then those using silly exaggerated language, accusing OP of 'involving her children in her abuse' in one case, which is a really serious allegation, and completely without basis from what we know here.
I struggle to see what would motive women to behave this way towards another woman. Attacking her, no balance, and deliberately using hyperbole to make her look as bad as possible. So many of them too. One after the other.

I agree, sickening to read to be honest.