I squirted my hungover husband in the face with water

[Hormonallyblessed]

Im 8 weeks pregnant with DC #3 and really struggling with pregnancy sickness, tiredness and headaches - i agreed my DH could go out last night with work colleagues for his leaving do while i picked up DCs, took them swimming, fed and bathed them and put them to bed (and cleaned up then straight to bed myself).
He got back drunk at 1am and didnt get up in the night when 1 DC fell out of bed and then when the other DC needed covers pulled up then later wet themselves. All this i can deal with.
This morning kids wanted to get up at 6am and DH completely refused to get up. Said he wasnt getting up and to leave him alone. I said no way he had to get up with us as im on the verge of vomiting and he needs to be with us to help. He kept refusing. Kids tried to get him up he refused. Told us to fuck off etc. So I took my Evian water bottle and squirted his face and upper back while he was in bed. This made him sit up (he was furious) but he then lay back down so i squirted him again and said id keep doing it until he got up. He did then get up.
I'm not planning to apologise. Was this unreasonable?!

You 'agreed' well that sounds controlling! It's common sense when to expect that someone who has been out to 1am and came in drunk isn't going to be of much use as 6am and I'm sure he thought that agreement meant he got a lie in whichvis fine if its a rare iccasion he goes out. He probably wouldn't have been much help with the kids anyway. Your also abusive as well as squiring water twice is totally unacceptable!

As other have said i expect as this hasn't quite went the way I'm sure you wanted there will be a drip feed in a minute or the op will never be heard from again. If so take a look at your controlling, abusive ways or you'll be managing with 3 kids on your own

Well someone who is drunk shouldn’t be getting up in the night to see to young dc anyway. You let him go out for his own leaving do wow you sound very controlling.

So you think it's normal/acceptable to get totally shit-faced on your leaving do? I don't think that's ok for a grown up man with young children at home. I know we have a heavy drinking culture in this country so a lot of people think it's ok.

A few drinks, yes. This sounds different to that.

Tbh, if she kept sending the kids in to disturb him, I can sympathize. No, it's not great. But a million times better than the OP.

Didn't your mother ever tell you two wrongs don't make a right?!

Sometimes my DH is slow to get up with the kids. Sometimes I am. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Either the other one of us will just crack on and sort it ourselves or we will ask for a hand. What we don't do is squirt water in each other's faces, because we're adults.

Be alright if he did that to you would it? Don't think it would so it's not alright for you to do it to him either regardless of how annoyed you are and pregnancy isn't an excuse for abuse, I'm pregnant too and whilst yes I am much quicker to feel annoyed at something than what I'd normally be, I don't abuse my partner.

I agree that he should have watched the amount he drank so that he could still be up for the kids when you are going through it with morning sickness but doesn't excuse what you did and the very bare minimum you should do is apologise and change your behaviour.

Frankly you have both behaved appallingly and abusively towards each other.

Grow up!

You're both not coming out of this situation well.

Him going out doesn't mean he has to get shit faced and return home at 1am. He knows his wife is pregnant with his child, he knows she's worse in mornings and he's gonna have to get up. He could have had a couple of drinks, gotten home at 11pm/midnight and had reasonable sleep by 6am for a parent with 2 kids. Getting shitfaced doesn't absolve you of your responsibilities. He shouldn't be swearing at you and the kids when its his own fault.

You shouldn't be squirting him with water. I mean if it was a teen refusing to go to school after gaming all night everyone would be telling you to do that so I'm not saying its as bad as people seem to be making out but just don't do it. Next time stay in the room with the kids, vomit on him, then go lay down in another room and leave him to wrangle the kids and clean up the vomit.

YABU and abusive in my view.

Oh @Hormonallyblessed I feel for you. You must feel crappy. I have to admit I’ve done some thing in sleep deprived younger years that I’m not sure I would defend now. Thankfully my DH is the forgiving type. I’m sorry to say I think you did cross the line. In a two wrongs don’t make a right kind of way. But I have empathy for you and your desperation. I suspect your basic needs have not been met for a long time.

I thought this too. OP sounds controlling.

Seriously? So swearing at young kids is not as bad as an adult spraying another adult with a bit of water? Wow.

Imagine a man doing this to a woman - she’d be told to call women’s Aid and get out as the behaviour will escalate. You are pregnant not on your death bed. He shouldn’t be telling you and the children to fuck off and I feel very sorry your children live in a house where this behaviour is happening. I’m ready for the massive drip feed now.

I pity you if you have a husband at home and you aren’t allowed to get drunk because you have to be up during the night and by 6am.

That’s not something to be proud of.
That’s just sad.

With two very young children and a pregnant wife I don't think any man should be getting so drunk they can't get up in the morning to share parenting, no

Bloody hell, op.

You ‘allowed’ him to go out on HIS leaving do?! 😵‍💫
You insisted that he gets up at 6am with a hangover?!
You weaponised the kids (as a pp put it) to make him get up?!
You sprayed him with water?!

Jesus Christ on a bike.

I’m not surprised he told you to fuck off. I’m just sorry that you kids were caught in the crossfire of this woeful exchange.

… and I’m normally a ‘see both sides sit on the fence’ kind of person. Not in this case!

Ridiculous to expect DH to get up at 6am after a leaving do.

Petty and abusive to repeatedly squirt him with water.

YABVU.

I did say it was not OK to squirt him in the face ie not acceptable. Both of their behaviour can be not OK IMO at the same time.

Do what now??
79% say unreasonable!
Excellent tactic in the circumstances of you all me .

I wouldn't make a habit of it but its just some water FFS and given what you've dealt with/are dealing with I think fair enough. He also has responsibilities. I don't think as a one off it constitutes abuse its just in bad taste and unfortunate that its come to that when really he should be be communicating in an adult way rather than telling you to fuck off when you're clearly stressed.

Its literally what you sign up to when you're a parent? Or are all parents allowed to get shit faced regularly and leave the kids to fend for themselves?

At my siblings wedding my DH planned to take toddler DC to bed and me stay up but he ended up not being well so I didn't drink any alcohol and was perfectly capable of being up with DC overnight and getting up with them in the morning. His leaving do doesn't trump his wife being very sick because shes pregnant with his child.

A) he SHOULD NOT be using such bad language in front of his children
B) if op keeps hassling him so much he’ll eventually do something worse (perhaps). He’s probably under a lot of stress. Op how old is he and how many kids do you have?

Totally disagree. When you have children with someone then you should be checking that the other parent is OK to take on the domestic load alone to enable you to go out.

I seem to be in the minority on this thread. But I think I'm also among the minority of MNetters whose husband genuinely did share the domestic and parenting load when we had kids.

No need to comment on the appalling behaviour of both of you. Just hope and pray that your children didn’t witness or hear any of this. If so then I really feel for them and hope they turn out better than their parents