I squirted my hungover husband in the face with water

[Hormonallyblessed]

Im 8 weeks pregnant with DC #3 and really struggling with pregnancy sickness, tiredness and headaches - i agreed my DH could go out last night with work colleagues for his leaving do while i picked up DCs, took them swimming, fed and bathed them and put them to bed (and cleaned up then straight to bed myself).
He got back drunk at 1am and didnt get up in the night when 1 DC fell out of bed and then when the other DC needed covers pulled up then later wet themselves. All this i can deal with.
This morning kids wanted to get up at 6am and DH completely refused to get up. Said he wasnt getting up and to leave him alone. I said no way he had to get up with us as im on the verge of vomiting and he needs to be with us to help. He kept refusing. Kids tried to get him up he refused. Told us to fuck off etc. So I took my Evian water bottle and squirted his face and upper back while he was in bed. This made him sit up (he was furious) but he then lay back down so i squirted him again and said id keep doing it until he got up. He did then get up.
I'm not planning to apologise. Was this unreasonable?!

Different liquid, but still assault.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5ywp7lgwvro.amp

You “let him” 😬 go out, but then expected his help in the night with the kids? You must have known he’d be drunk?
Also when my DH goes out (and vice versa!) I expect he’ll probably be a bit worse for wear the next day and leave him to lie in.
If it’s too much for you to cope with the kids on your own at the moment you need a conversation with him and not going out u too your sickness has settled or whatever. This is a horrible situation for your kids.

If a man did this to a woman there would be calls to call the police, he can't be that bad or you wouldn't have decided to have 3 kids with him

Doesn't sound great. And you 'let him' go out....

You and your husband both sound foul and I hope your children if they are old enough tell a teacher at their school what they witnessed lovely ‘mummy and daddy’ doing, swearing and being abusive. And a third child is coming into this life. Jesus.

how old are the children, do they need to be up and about at 6am rather than playing quietly in their room for an extra hour?

if you agreed to him going out its not fair to be angry that you did the bedtime routine, thats part of the deal. you over did it with the water, unnecessarily mean and aggro. he needs to apologise for swearing at you all and you for the water then move on.

And if parents did it to a teenager not getting out of bed refusing to go to school they'd be applauded.

YabVu! You knew he was going out drinking for his leaving do, so unless you’d agreed in advance that he’d still get up in the night and early the next morning, this should have been expected. Either way, pouring/squirting water on him is not ok, I really hope your children did not witness it.

Just glossing over the drink driving there, are you?

Completely different!

Going out drinking for a one-off special occasion isn't a big deal. There's nothing to suggest he would have stayed in bed all day, maybe even got up at a reasonable time of 8am or 9am, just not 6am!

If DH or I have a rare night out, we'll usually start checking on the other at about 9am by bringing up a cup of tea/coffee and a jokey, "good night was it!". Neither of us have been so drunk we couldn't function the next day since our early 20s, but not being ready to get up at 6am is no where near that.

Jesus op calm down. Agreeing to a night out obviously puts you on night and morning duty. This is not the way to go. If my partner did that to me I would seriously be considering my options.

For the record, I don't think it was ok to spray water on him. I don't. But I also don't think it was abusive.

His behaviour... telling his toddlers to fuck off is just so unacceptable.

And he shouldn't have needed to be told - he knows his wife is pregnant and feeling ill. He knows he has two young kids. The bar for men is so low if people aren't expecting him to take that into account and just go out and get drunk like he's 21 with no dependants.

I wouldn't have had to 'have a conversation' with my husband about this beforehand, as one poster has suggested. He just wouldn't have done it, he would have gone for a few drinks and remembered he has responsibilities at home and in the morning. Same for me.

What healthy modelling for your children!

Completely unreasonable.

Where's the dripfeed, OP?

You were either OK with him going out, or you weren't.

Nothing had changed this morning, he was always going to be in bed at 6am after a night drinking - even after two or three drinks; you were always going to feel sick in pregnancy, they were always going to be up early...

Does this abuse happen from both of you all the time, or was last night a tipping point and you both need a big talk, a babysitter and a big sleep, some counselling, all of the above? You just can't be abusing each other, and particularly in front of your kids. Sort this out, now.

We don’t have the full picture here, maybe it’s a one off or rare night out maybe it’s not. More to the point, the swearing AT the kids would be a major red flag!

Disagree completely. Having DC and a pregnancy to share the care for (as DH does here) puts him on shared duty, for both the daily slog and the unexpected. You adjust your nights out to not get so pissed or get in so late you can't get up to help. Totally with OP here.

Would DH be pregnant and suffering with morning sickness in your scenario?

I mean, he sounds awful but your behaviour was awful too. Poor kids. Why are you bringing a 3rd child into this mess?!

I didn't say it was drink driving because it wasn't. It was impaired judgement because I was hungover. I'm sorry I just don't agree that you should be drinking like this when you've made the choice to have several children in quick succession who all need early morning care.

#ragebait

I also disagree with you. We can be parents as well as have a life outside and going to your own leaving do and having a few too many when there is another parent to pick up the slack the next day is fine in my book. I find it utterly miserable that people think if you have kids you can’t do this, you never ever support each other, never are allowed to cut loose and have a few. No wonder so many relationships end.

Agreed! He's not exactly a 16 year old who doesn't know his limits.

Supporting each other would be OP doing what she had done the night before and then DH picking up the slack in the morning, particularly given OP was suffering from morning sickness.

Eek, thats not okay. I can understand why you were so frustrated, but unfortunately you did cross a line when you turned things physical.

What is the relationship usually like? Do you ever get a break/time to yourself?

OP probably won't back back, but I don't understand why the decision to have a 3. child when she is clearly not coping and has a useless husband.

How embarrassing. You might want to educate yourself before posting. As someone that works for the police, it IS an assault so I would maybe try researching before posting and looking silly. It’s classed as common assault!

oh PS - previously been in a physically abusive relationship - Hope that helps! 🤡!!