Do I end this based on hearsay.

[Emotionstorn]

Been dating my partner since August. He has a child from a previous relationship but have no plans to introduce children until later.

He has told me him and his ex had quite a stormy breakup. Arguing etc and she told his friends and family that he hit her.

He denies this completely. Has sworn on the life of his child he has never done that.
I have experienced DV historically and I don’t know whether to walk away based on this or not.
There are no red flags or anything that I have seen myself

i just don’t know what to do

who REMOTELY SAID OR SUGGESTED ANYTHING LIKE THIS?

You, in the posts I quoted. No point getting angry at anyone else about it. I went through it very thoroughly. Did it not make your day the way tales of women lying about assault did? What a shame.

This is not a court of law. Your talk about assuming guilt and your short list of women found to have lied (I assume)... all that is a false equivalence. It absolutely is attempting to draw a parallel between a woman refusing to date a man and a man being convicted in law. But liberty is a human right that requires a process to be withdrawn. Dates are not.

OP is not obliged to hold a trial or gather evidence to make personal decisions regarding her safety. She's got concerns. Rightly so. Most women who make accusations are telling the truth and anecdotal evidence suggests that most people who swear on their children's lives are liars (they're certainly all arseholes). She already has a history of DV and I'm sorry to say these sorts of men are very good at sniffing out potential victims. Yes, a small number of women lie. And? No woman is obliged to put herself in danger to prove anything about this.

She absolutely should end this now and she should not feel one shred of guilt over it. And it shouldn't be controversial to say so.

Thank you too. Yeah, you're not wrong. I guess in my case it was a different kind of manipulation.

And back in my day there wasn't SM or Clare's Law so if stuff went on it could more easily be shoved under the carpet. So less need to start telling your new partner about 'false abuse accusations'.

I've certainly never met a woman who I believe lied about being a victim of DV.

So all things considered, OP should probably part ways with this fella.

I hope you're happy and safe now x

What interests me is your certainty.

How do you know for certain, are you the accuser or accused, or did you record and film this couple over time.

Or is it just a judgement on overall behaviour outside of this relationship which led you to believe one above the other.

I’m not going to wade into whatever bunfight is going on upthread but I do have a little experience to share.
A former friend made this allegation about her ex when they split up. Everyone rallied round her appalled at this seemly lovely man we all knew well had changed so much, resorting to assaulting her.
6 months later they’re back together and we think she’s lost the plot.
Turned out he didn’t actually hit her and she totally exaggerated (she admitted this and said she went a bit far as she was angry with him).
This man had been a pariah for months.
Stupidly he’s still with her but his family won’t speak to her.
He literally did nothing wrong and she tried to ruin his life.
Now your partner could be violent, you don’t know yet. But there are cases like this when men are not and women try to ruin them.
Proceed with the utmost caution, if that’s what you want, but don’t take someone else’s word as if it’s gospel.

If it's true, he's physically abusive.

If it's not true, you life will be made worse having someone who lied about abuse involved in your life constantly.

I believe victims until proven otherwise, so I would stop seeing him.

If he asks out another woman who heard about this accusation, she'd be entirely justified in refusing because she didn't want to take the risk. It's not on her to endanger herself to compensate for the wrong done to him by someone else.

It really is totally irrelevant that a small number of women lie. Most don't. And none are obliged to offer themselves as compensation in the hope that they win the lottery of dates vs violence.

None at the point I made my comment.

Something else to remember...not dating this guy doesn't mean you're taking anything as "gospel" or believing someone only because she's a woman or any of that stuff. It does not mean you are 10000% certain he did what he's accused of. It just means you don't want to take the risk that he did. And you don't have to.

And it shouldn't be controversial.

Oh my god, mine too! Guess we were both mistaken then?

Must be. Because they told someone else they didn’t do it so that’s ok then.

Yes you should always believe the men, especially the mommies, the new girlfriends and the police.