I was walking my dog in the park yesterday when a pug ran over to me and jumped up, getting mud all over my — relatively smart, clean-on-that-morning — jeans. (For reference, yes, the park itself was muddy but — until that point — my jeans weren’t because I was wearing walking boots, and being careful where I walked.)
I complained to the owner, and our exchange went broadly as follows (it’s not verbatim because I can’t remember it word for word — but hopefully you get the gist).
me: your dog just jumped up at me with muddy paws.
her: oh, right.
me (taken aback): it would be normal to apologise at least.
her: it’s not my fault; that’s just what dogs do; I can’t control what my dog does.
me: you can’t control your dog? You don’t think that’s a problem?
her: it’s your fault; you’re inappropriately dressed; you should wear old clothes to walk your dog, like everyone else.
me: it’s my fault your dog jumped up at me?
The conversation carried on in this vein for about another 30 seconds, then she called me a weird woman and we went our separate ways…
Now, I’m pretty sure she was in the wrong/BU, but here’s my AIBU: given that the damage was already done, so to speak, should I have just kept quiet rather than saying anything?
There’s a saying that sometimes it’s better to be kind than right. Swap kind for quiet, and perhaps that’s what I should have done in this instance — rather than doing what she probably saw as me having a go at her (am trying to put myself in her shoes here!). I mean, what was I hoping to achieve? The most I was ever going to get was an apology so, really, what was the point of saying something?
So, was I BU to speak up?
Yes, you should have kept your trap shut: it’s just mud/there was nothing to be gained from saying anything/you effectively picked a fight and she just gave as good as she got, so let that be a lesson to you…
No: she was being an irresponsible dog owner and it’s good you called her out on it.
Am genuinely undecided as to whether or not I was BU, so interested to hear both sides!