Old and invisible.

[NovemberMorn]

It is a fact of life, once you get past a certain age, you become less noticable.
Once you get past the middle age and get into the definitely OLD age, peoples attitudes change again.

YANBU.
I accept that and welcome it? No more being gawped at by men and looked at as a threat by other women.

YABU.

I love the attention and advantages that being young and attractive brings. I dread the ageing process and how it will change others opinions of me.

Weird people

Second this.
I have always been a smiler. When you smile and you make a bit of warm, friendly chat, you will not go unnoticed. People appreciate it.

I'll 'third' this.

I am also now wrinkly and in my 60s, but have always found that people in general like people who approach them with a smile and show interest in them. They respond to warmth as most normal people do. I have known this for decades, and am definitely no less visible now than I was in any previous decade.

Absolutely.

All of this.

I will answer my own question if I may.
I personally don't feel invisible, but I know many women do, and I believe there are various reasons for that.
The empty nest syndrome is one cause, the main focus on life has been taken away for many women, they can feel unwanted, especially if they haven't built up a decent life outside of motherhood and marriage.

Feelings come from inside, everyone has to have confidence in themselves, appreciate their own strengths and weaknesses, sadly for some women, they don't have it or they lost it along the way.

Work, friends, family, and most of all attitude can make us all visible till the day we die.

Who knows, apart from them?

I read it more as embracing freedom after a life of restraints.

Sorry about your mum, I had similar with mine. x

❤♥❤

Im in my 50s. I think it’s an honor to grow old as many people don't.

I work with people aged 14-70, i don't feel invisible. I feel physically strong (i weight lift) and my professional knowledge is respected. My friends are inspirational women with numerous skills. I'm quite average looking but thats ok.

Exactly this. The only other option is to die young, I know which I'd choose. Every day is a gift, many don't make it.

*meant to quote @Blondieeeee

Oh dear.

😁
I missed that one.
I think the poster must have been referring to herself as she has no idea what I look like.😏

on the few occasions I go to the bar, I catch the eye of the server, and sometimes other customers, and I’m often served ahead of my turn. A smile and looking my age, works wonders.

Couldn’t give a shit.
getting old is a privilege denied to many.

There is an age bias, but I guess at times it works both ways. My selective attention in a room or crowd would most likely be drawn towards people of a similar age group to myself or attractiveness in familiarity or a similar style to myself. Something that catches my eye and that I can relate to. Based on assumptions of course.

As I'm early middle aged I'm most likely to focus on my own age group and say glance over / bypass a crowd of indistinguishable teens/ early 20s or people older..it's not meant to be offensive and if someone entered into focus, joined a conversation, etc I wouldn't purposely exclude them due to age.

It's more so present with strangers and people you don't know, where people make assumptions. In a situation when you are around different age groups more often and get to know them then it disappears, like in a work setting where your work besties are of all different age groups.

I'm pretty sure when I'm hanging out with my pals in my 80s I really won't be bothered about whether a group of trendy 30 something year olds find me attractive or not 😂

I’m curious. For all those who say they don’t miss male attention. Have you never been “chatted up” respectfully? Where a man is just nice and friendly and not lecherous?

I’ve never been a “traditional” beauty nor had a “hot” body, even when young. So the men who have pursued me have maybe been of a different type. But I enjoyed male attention just because it was usually just friendly and fun. I enjoy meeting new people and I’ll be honest, yes I was flattered because I am not that pretty.

I went to a (very small) gig this week and the man behind the bar was my age (I’m 56 and he told me he’s 59) and he was definitely flirting with me. But it was all very nice, pleasant and innocent. No horrible comments, no lecherous looks. Just a fun chat. And I had no problems getting served by him, he even gave me a couple of free drinks 😂Why would I find that a problem? It was fun.

I like the aspect of being “invisible” in that I feel there’s less judgement now on how I look (from men and women). If I don’t make an effort no one cares. So now I can just make extra efforts when I actually want to, not every time I leave the house because I feel I should!

Im 60.
Im not quite feeling invisible yet

I get hassle from men in Morocco and other similar countries but know dam well its not me as a person they are interested in but what I can give them, so they get short shift from me.

I have just got a new job, men and women talk to me when I go out either on a walk , to a gig or to the pub alone.
Im still interested in clothes, make up, beauty treatments diet and exercise seeing my friends and spending ti.e with my family, etc.
So whether Im invisible or not is irrelevant to me. I am happy and loved, everything else is just 'stuff'

If you are a generous tipper bar staff will prioritise you whether young or old, beautiful or plain.

Not true, I have worked in bars, and customers get treated equally.....unless they are ignorant or bad mannered, then they either wait or don't get served at all.

Just out of interest, when is it or who is it that's making you feel invisible? Is it in a room of strangers?