Old and invisible.

[NovemberMorn]

It is a fact of life, once you get past a certain age, you become less noticable.
Once you get past the middle age and get into the definitely OLD age, peoples attitudes change again.

YANBU.
I accept that and welcome it? No more being gawped at by men and looked at as a threat by other women.

YABU.

I love the attention and advantages that being young and attractive brings. I dread the ageing process and how it will change others opinions of me.

Also, I have always had friends of all ages and I never thought older people were "other" somehow when I was young. Id like to think younger people will want to be friends with me when I'm old!

This! Think you’ve summed it up perfectly - as we get older, it’s being visible and present to those we care about that counts - I am currently freeing myself from worrying about what the wider ‘other’ think or see

Being in danger from pervy blokes unable to control their hormones and their disgusting lust. Why would anyone want that?

Must better to be invisible. Go about your life without hassle or some sleaze gawping at your chest.

When I was 14 a man walked straight up to me in the middle of the city centre and used both hands to vigorously rub my breasts in the manner of Aladdin summoning two genies. At 17 I got my first job where on my first day my manager told me he was the ‘sexual harassment officer’ and if I wasn’t getting enough sexual harassment I should come to him. At 19 I was (literally) working as a waitress in a cocktail bar where I’d get groped pretty much every night by men old enough to be my dad, and who thought that a generous tip gave them the right to follow me into the staff toilets to sexually assault me. I wasn’t even out of my teens and I was never dressed immodestly. My 20s are littered with similar stories. I’m in my 50s now and I love the anonymity. I love that nobody treats me like a piece of meat, or thinks they are entitled to any bit of me. I look good I like to think, but I don’t look like wank fodder anymore, and that’s a great freedom to have.

I’ve observed though even with the wider community that older people are definitely not invisible, they all talk to each other and more engaged with the area etc

You're not invisible to the people that really matter.

Well I agree 100%.
But I have been around long enough to know that that is the way many older people feel....and it is usually women, at least ime.
I do think if you are surrounded by loving family it won't affect or bother you, and if you are still employed and respected in your job it won't apply either.

But I have heard countless women state they do feel invisible when they get past a certain age, and enough have commented on this thread who confirm that indeed, for some, that is the case.

I worked in nightclubs from the age of 18 to 25. I was NEVER touched or groped once, so you were incredibly unlucky, or working in places that didn't look after their female staff.

I am so sorry you had to suffer that.

@NovemberMorn But at heart, it's the circle of life and as it should be. This whole period of "solutions" to aging being available (for a price) is probably spreading more unhappiness than happiness I'd hazard a guess.

And perhaps since the internet and social media took off it's become more obvious.
I really don't remember my mum and older relatives, who generally looked far older than todays counterparts, being bothered about ageing and invisibility.
People were not so self obsessed, they just got on with things more.

So far though, a third of women on this thread do feel more unnoticed as they get old/er.

I've not seen this amongst my workmates or friends. We must either not care or be very confident in our own skin.

I'm 61. I don't feel remotely invisible.

It is not true, it is completely made up bollocks.

Oh come on

I don't feel invisible at 63. People of both sexes and a range of ages smile, speak or even stop to chat. Last time I was in M&S I got off the escalator and got a courtly bow from a man at least a decade younger. I thought he was going to kiss my hand. I was in my usual jeans, fleece, sensible shoes. I must look friendly and cheerful.

@NovemberMorn "So far though, a third of women on this thread do feel more unnoticed as they get old/er."

So what, though? Supposed "invisibility" also comes with a sense of freedom and unrestriction.

@NovemberMorn "So far though, a third of women on this thread do feel more unnoticed as they get old/er."

Where are you getting your third from please.

If it's the YABU vote then those people didn't say they feel more unnoticed. They agreed with "I love the attention and advantages that being young and attractive brings. I dread the ageing process and how it will change others opinions of me." which sort of suggests they are younger people.

I'm getting the horrible feeling that this whole thread is set up to be misogynist bollocks.

This. I'm 70 and don't feel invisible but I wasn't thinking about being hit on by men just noticed by people generally. I'm fine with it.

I didn't vote because I didnt agree with either option.

I’m guess the people who feel invisible are the ones who don’t engage with people anyway. If you walk around chatting, smiling, funny, warm then no way would you be invisible.

Im 71. Last time i had attention was around 58. Bloody glad now im old! No more crappy men to deal with!!!

and looked at as a threat by other women

That never passes, sadly.

Trust me if you have blond hair, reasonably sized breasts and a slim figure men will notice you at any age. That's what I look like at 64.
I was invisible when I was fat. Completely invisible. They mostly go for a few very obvious in your face characteristics. Stick a short skirt onto that and its eyes out on stalks all over the place.
Naturally I don't go out dressed like that because I don't want the attention.
Stick a long blond wig on some time and try it.
Its tragic really.

As I've got older, the men looking have got older, they don't stop in my experience.