to not accept that this is a "thing" that most people do?

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Woman I work with is early 20's and has been with her OH for six moths. She was getting really pissed off with him because he hadnt asked her to be his GF. Me and another colleague (just turned 30), both said that after 6 months being BF/GF was a given surely, they had had the "exclusive" conversation a few weeks in. Imo thats when they became an official couple but she insists not.

Then she came into work all smiles as he had officially asked her and it involved a fancy meal, flowers, that sort of thing....basically a mini proposal!

She insists that this is how it should be done and that until the man asks the woman to be his GF they are still just dating. She was genuinely surprised when other colleague and I said that we had never done this and had never heard of it.

I think this is a) not a thing and b) nuts, but am I wrong and out of date given I am in my fifties?

I completely agree with you but perhaps to those of her age it is a thing and we’re in the wrong for thinking other generations agree.

Unfortunately, it is a thing, but it is still nuts.

I’m with you, in my day you were bf / gf when shagging exclusively! Different world nowadays, not able to label things without consent.

You said OH, which is quite a full on term (and one I hate actually but that's by the by)

So you mean she's been dating casually for six months? And now they are exclusive?

It’s an American thing that appears to be catching on here in the UK.
Each to their own!

Is it peculiar to a certain age or social group? I have kids that age and none of them had heard of it either!

Oh god it's all so complicated! My 17yo dd is seeing (dating)a lad. He hasn't asked her to be his gf yet, although they aren't 'talking' to anyone else, cos that would be a 'dick move'

Bloody hell!

American influence.
Not sure which option is the best but the ‘casually dating’ stage often allows for messy situationships where the woman is played.

I agree with you but then I’m the same age so of no use whatsoever

I said other half as she insisted that until he asked he wasnt her BF and I didnt know what else to call him!

How fantastic that the younger generation are inventing new ways to resurrect sexist norms that leave women helplessly waiting at the whims of a man.

FFS.

When we were young, the older generations would tell us that men aren't going to buy the cow if they are getting the milk for free... get married type of thing. Now, men get all the benefits of a girlfriend, including sex, time, effort... but then say they aren't in a relationship so I technically didn't cheat. Exclusive means you aren't dating anyone else... the definition of boyfriend/girlfriend.

Absolute madness! It shouldn't take 6 months to see if you're compatible for a relationship. I'd love to know her feelings on timelines and expectations for moving in, kids, marriage, joint bank accounts.... bloody hell, never going to get anything done 😄 🤣

If there's a way to monetise it and make some reality TV out of it, it'll become a thing.

Well, before boyfriend, there's nothing really. Just someone you're dating. Edit - just remembered, one of dad's colleagues used to refer to it as "my current affair" but I found that weird because it sounds like one of you is married!

Doesn't anyone remember the term "going steady" from when we were kids? Sorry, I have made a total assumption about the age group here, but some of you have said your age roughly.

Yeah it’s a thing. I think it’s absurd.
you apparently have different stages like talking to, then seeing each other, dating, exclusive, then boyfriend and girlfriend etc (not sure that’s the right order or if I’ve missed something out)

I’m in my twenties and agree with you.

I think it’s excusing men to play the field. I refuse to be put on the side bench while a man I’m seeing is ‘dating’ other woman too. I don’t date two men at once and don’t expect a man I’m sleeping with to do that either. They get the boot if I get any whiff of it.

A friend of mine recently was saying how her fella of 6 months was still on dating apps but it was ok as they hadn’t had the ‘exclusive’ talk. 🙃Made me wince.

Don’t blame this on the Americans. I have never heard of this nonsense.

Not sure if might be a new thing that I haven’t heard of but I don’t think you can blame this one us Americans.

I’ve not heard of it outside of Jr. High School (approx 11-13 yo) first GF/BF passing notes and going to the school dance kinda thing. I’m officially a dinosaur 🦖 though!

Is TikTok the source for this utter twaddle by any chance?

It’s a thing - like someone else said it’s akin to a mini proposal these days. Preferably instagrammable.

Courting.

I'm worried now. I'm getting married in a few weeks, but I don't think he's asked me to be his girlfriend yet 😔

I'm mid thirties, but I kind of like the "girlfriend proposals". Not for me personally, but I can see the appeal for others. There are so many stages now to dating that it's no wonder some people feel like they need to actually have that clarity of confirming the relationship.

I hate "talking to". Sounds like discussing the possibility of a corporate merger.

As someone early 50s who has recently done OLD, it's always good to clarify whether it's a gf/boyf relationship, or just a situationship 🤢

It’s definitely a thing amongst the young. Both of our sons dated their girlfriends before formally asking them to be such.

🤷‍♀️ Don’t ask me.