to not accept that this is a "thing" that most people do?

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Woman I work with is early 20's and has been with her OH for six moths. She was getting really pissed off with him because he hadnt asked her to be his GF. Me and another colleague (just turned 30), both said that after 6 months being BF/GF was a given surely, they had had the "exclusive" conversation a few weeks in. Imo thats when they became an official couple but she insists not.

Then she came into work all smiles as he had officially asked her and it involved a fancy meal, flowers, that sort of thing....basically a mini proposal!

She insists that this is how it should be done and that until the man asks the woman to be his GF they are still just dating. She was genuinely surprised when other colleague and I said that we had never done this and had never heard of it.

I think this is a) not a thing and b) nuts, but am I wrong and out of date given I am in my fifties?

Almost as bad as a ‘push present’

I am nearly 50. This is indeed definitely “a thing” now, as I discovered when I dated post divorce. One person I dated gave me a full presentation on why I should become their girlfriend. I thought it was a joke until I realised it wasn’t. This was someone my age, not a youth.

Each generation finds their own way. The formally asking someone to be your GF or BF is most definitely a “thing” for teens/twenty somethings now.

I don’t think it’s new. My mum said it was similar when she was growing up in the US in the 50s and you would formally ask your GF to “go steady” which meant exclusive GF.

One person I dated gave me a full presentation on why I should become their girlfriend

😳😁

This is how it seems to be now. My friend said her daughter has been with her boyfriend for about 10 months but when I asked my daughter, her best friend, she said he only became her boyfriend a month ago! It's all very different ro when we were young.

I've only just heard of the "talking phase", which I think means messaging. The time that took is not counted as part of the relationship e.g. "We talked for a month and have been bf+gf for 3 weeks now".

Perhaps with Internet dating etc it's less safe to presume. In ye olden days you'd meet someone and date and that would be it. Your inbox wouldn't be pinging with other offers. So you night agree not to have sex with anyone else for now but maybe the times require more confirmation.

Perhaps with Internet dating etc it's less safe to presume. In ye olden days you'd meet someone and date and that would be it. Your inbox wouldn't be pinging with other offers. So you night agree not to have sex with anyone else for now but maybe the times require more confirmation.

This is the thing. I think I remember my first bf asking me to be his gf, but it was just a cute moment, like "so does that mean you want to be my girlfriend" followed by a snog. But my relationships predate SM and this millennium 😂.

Doing internet dating, there is of course a period of talking, and if you like the sounds of someone you probably aren't messaging a load of other guys but it's not something I would have counted in our relationship time. It's just you dint meet some bloke you spoke to once on POF

Sounds very old fashioned, she'll want him to ask her father's permission next . . .

I have sons and honestly the whole talking/ situationship/ exclusive stages thing doesnt always benefit the male. Younger DS has had numerous girls he’s been “ talking to” and a couple of “ situationships” but has gone through all the angst of being ghosted or one of the girls ending up “exclusive “ with someone else.
He definitely doesn’t feel like he holds all the cards. I think, as always, some people of both sexes will play the field and have multiple suitors on the go, and others will just like one person and hope it’s reciprocated.
Ds is currently talking to a girl he’s going on an actual date with next week, and told me he had the chance to snog another girl the other night but didnt because of the girl he’s talking to, but obviously she might not do the same!
What I do find weird is they seem to generally go out in single sex groups. Sometimes one or two actual girlfriends will come along (maybe with a mate) but they don’t seem to regularly hang about in mixed sex groups of friends.
I told him that most of my boyfriends at his age were just guys from my wider friend group that happened organically which felt much more natural and maybe just getting to know women as friends would be better than all this online stuff, as you meet their friends etc and eventually you hit it off with someone.
All this living online has made life very complicated.

@canklesmctacotits you do not need to be BF/GF or even exclusive to have sex. A couple of my women friends did one night stands back in the 90’s but this is different because it’s like dating but with zero commitment.

One of DS mates was chatting to 21 women one week on a dating app, I asked if he had a spreadsheet to keep notes so he didn’t mix them up. Then there is the conversion rate of chatting to meeting.

@ChevyCamaro Agreed about some men being more successful than others. One of DS mates is short at 5 ft 6, you can filter by height. As much as some may not like it if you are a tall lad like my DS it was absolutely in his favour. His mate has a lot less luck.

It is a thing for her age group / generation.

I think you are right,Americans have a " going steady" thing for when it becomes exclusive!

My response to that would start with an F and end with an off! Where are all the strong young women!!!

After 6 months!!!

It's the new 'In thing' for the younger generation now. They go in stages. first they 'talk' then they' see each other' then they agree to go 'exclusive' then the boy has to ask the girl to be his GF. It's only when she agrees to be his GF that they are an official couple. Was never like that in my day & I don't get it at all.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" sounds like something a 5-year-old might ask.