AIBU… invite to the wedding

[AmIReallyOCD]

My nephew has invited myself, my partner, my teenage son but NOT my partner’s teenage son to his wedding. I feel really irritated by it.. I’ve clarified the invite and it’s not a mistake but haven’t asked why my ‘stepson’ has been excluded. I need to reply in the next week!!

Has he met your step son? Do they spend time together? When did the step son come into his life? It's not cut and dry, weddings are expensive and you can't fill the guest list with people you hardly know out of obligation. It's different if they're close and big part of his life for a long time.

How old are both the boys? How long have you and partner been together? Has nephew met ‘step’ son before?

We need more details about how long stepson has been around, has DN meet him, what age is he

It isn’t “myself”. Do you live together?

Do they know each other well? He’s not your stepson if you’re not married.

Stay home if you aren't happy?

Does nephew know DSS well?

Does your stepson live with you full time?
And how old is he?

Not inviting DSS is somewhere on a spectrum from 'not ideal but not unreasonable', to 'unkind', depending on the answers to these questions.

Does your stepson live with you?

It's fairly obvious why he hasn't invited your partners son.

You can decide you're a family and treat your sons equally, that doesn't mean your nephew has to.

You can say no to going to the wedding based on your nephews choice though.

You and your son are his Aunt and cousin . Out of politeness , he is inviting your partner as your plus one . Your stepson is nothing to your nephew unless you raised him since infancy .

Actually I've just realised he's not your stepson.

How long have you and your partner been together?

There really isn't anywhere near enough info in your OP.

@AmIReallyOCD lots of details missing.

How long have you been together?

Do you live together?

By teenage are we talking 13 or 19??

Who would you prefer he left off the guest list? A grandparents? A close friend he went to school with? His bride to be's best friend?

You are probably a duty invite - being blunt, most people aren’t really bothered about having their aunts around. Your son might be in that category too, depending on how close the cousins are.

Inviting your partner is polite of them.

Inviting your partner’s son, unless there’s a twist that they’ve coincidentally been mates since nursery, would be a step too far for most people.

On the info you've given. I wouldn't have expected an invite OP.

All of this, basically.

Why on eaeth would he invite your partners son? Is some weird reverse thing

Sorry why have you left it so last minute, normally you have a couple months to rsvp?

ADDING ANSWERS!

We have been together 6 years and my son is 17 and my partner’s son is also 17. We have all lived together for the last 3 years. My nephew has met him on many occasions (birthdays/other weddings/funeral) and although they’ve spoken they don’t socialise or communicate outside of family events but then neither does my own son.

Because we are a family!

You're family to each other.

To your nephew he's some teenager he's met a few times over the last 3 years.

How long have you been with your partner and do you live together? Do both teens live with you and how old are they?

Does your nephew know your partner well, and know his child? Would he call your whole unit family to him or are you more “my aunt and her boyfriend” territory?

Ive been with my partner a few years now, everyone knows us as a couple, including family. I have 2 kids. My partner has a nephew who is 24 and we expect will be engaged soon. I fully expect an invitation to the wedding as “partner and plus one” but I do not expect my kids to be invited as they are nothing to do with his nephew really.

Why would his kid be invited? Unless you’ve been together for 10/15 years and raised the your respective kids together as one family and your whole family know you, your partner and both the kids as one family unit.

Then of course he isn’t invited. In your shoes, I’d never expect him to be invited.

Your nephew sort of HAS TO invite your kid as part of family obligation, whether he is close to him or not. But that family obligation does not extend to the almost adult son of his aunt’s boyfriend.

Sorry for using a reflexive pronoun - I didn’t realise the grammar would be an issue!! I was clearly just using the most natural phrasing. Please accept my apologies.

You do realise your nephew and or his fiancée have to pay for every person they invite? Weddings are very expensive and you sound super entitled . YABVU