School Readiness

[MissLead]

So on the news this morning it was reported that 37% of kids going to school in UK are not deemed ‘ready’ often lacking basic speech and not being toilet trained.

Assuming these kids have no medical conditions - there must be some bloody lazy parents out there!!

Abuse usually starts after pregnancy.

You know very well that no-one is suggesting that these rules should be applied to SEN children. The VAST majority of children- SEN or not- can be toilet trained by 3 and I would say that most children can be out of nappies by 2 with enough effort and consistency. The issue isn't the tiny percentage of children who can't be toilet trained, but the large number of children who could be but aren't.

Just stop please.

You're doing absolutely nothing to improve the lives of children anywhere and you've made it quite obvious that you have no expectations.

If a parent really wanted to make sure their kids knew how books worked, they absolutely would spend a few pence in a charity shop or ask on their local FB group if anyone is having a clear-out.

Since the dawn of time parents have made sure their poverty impacts their children as little as possible.

It’s laziness (overuse of screens and lack of conversation) and lack of education.

You don’t know the position I live in, nor what my familiarity is or otherwise with the family court and the police in that regard.
I have however read this report, 37% not school ready. I agree there are outliers with extreme circumstances but I think absolving the remainder of that 37% of parents because some live in extreme circumstances, some have SEN etc. is not useful either.
I believe we need BOTH - more social support, Surestart, good advocacy and social justice AND to stop absolving parents of individual caring responsibility amounting to neglect.

It seems to me like parenting got worse when every criticism of obvious poor parenting got called "Mum shaming" and not allowed. It's more frowned upon now to say that it's lazy not to potty train a child than it is to not potty train a child.

Abuse doesn't prevent potty training whilst the non abuser parent leaves the relationship.

Too many excuses for bad parenting. If you don't want to raise them don't have them

You've read the full report or a headline in a newpaper? You've said your position is that you cannot imagine someone not having money to buy DC books in a charity shop, I haven't made an assessment of you.

and how can people magically tell that difference at just 4? Especially when many children are still undiagnosed at that age?

TA of 14 years here in a (private) primary in a very middle class area.

I wish this wasn't true - I have seen this happen.

It's definitely got worse since Covid. Lots more not toilet trained in Reception. More kids with weak fine motor skills so they can't dress or undress themselves - even going into Year 2, some still can't do zips or buttons. Many still eat with their fingers and don't know how to use a knife and fork. Very poor problem solving skills. I see this in NT pupils as well as SEND.

Not sure what the root cause is - probably many things.

From 1985 to 2000 i never had one single child start Playgroup (age 3) late because they weren't out of nappies. Wonder why that was ?

I agree. Far, far less money should be paid out in benefits for ‘disability’ payments for under 10s with ASD etc and instead more money should be ploughed into bringing back sure start.

This certainly appears to be your assessment of me:

You live in a position where you cannot imagine how some people live in the UK and that is great. But that comes from a place of luck and privilege not superiority.

And yes, I have read (maybe rather scanned and read the bits that are of interest to me) the report after I saw the headline this morning. This is the link should you like to do so too:

https://kindredsquared.org.uk/school-readiness-survey/

The EYFS teacher at my DSs school say that they had plenty this year who weren't toilet trained, lots who wouldn't/couldn't sit and listen to a story and a lot who didn't know how to use cutlery.

I didn't ask for specifics obviously but it'd be fascinating for people to do actual research into why this is. The 2-3 year old early years funding was supposed to help even the playing field but clearly some kids are still being left behind. Sadly thing is parents who are less engaged with their kids are not going to engage with school or surveys so hard to figure out what's happening

Cutting benefits punishes the kids.

People who cannot afford books cannot afford kids.

People who don’t have the time to potty train their kids don’t have the time to have kids.

Why 'disability'? Do you think Autism isn't a disability?

Well said

Benefits destroy lives.

At work I see the same thing time and time again. School leaver (18/19), works for a couple of years, then quits or gets fired and signs onto benefits. Usually staying with family so the fact it’s only £450 is just pocket money for them. After a few years of sleeping all day, gaming and spending the money on vapes/weed/takeaways, they’re almost unemployable with no work ethic and borderline addictions. A few more years of this and they add a couple of mental health labels to their belt - hello PIP. Then they have a few kids, and its benefits kerching. The kids are then brought up by hopeless selfish parents who barely know what day of the week it is and are unemployable due to ‘MH’ (aka long term laziness and addiction). Kids brought up badly and cycle continues.

I often wonder what would’ve happened had we never allowed them to claim to start with.

I doubt there would be enough money in your plan to open one sure start centre.

You don't want children to get disability benefits ? I am assuming you are just being a goady fecker now,

This contemporaneous report on the labour market from the ONS suggests one reason.

I did manage to get my daughter toilet trained by 3 (just) but I remember it was very difficult co-ordinating with nursery.

100% bring back sure starts. We need more investment in great early years provisions with rigorous checks and balances.
We need more health visitors and better access to support services.
But yes. Anecdotally, the standard of parenting seems to be in decline and I am regularly shocked by the behaviour in primary schools.

Coffeeandbooks88 and Coffeeishot

Are defending poor parenting. Interesting coffee link!

I worked for many years directly addressing child poverty as it happens. And now indirectly support children via work with vulnerable women.
However, I will leave you to your assumptions as I see your mind is closed on the subject.