School Readiness

[MissLead]

So on the news this morning it was reported that 37% of kids going to school in UK are not deemed ‘ready’ often lacking basic speech and not being toilet trained.

Assuming these kids have no medical conditions - there must be some bloody lazy parents out there!!

Why should parents be ‘supported’ to do basic things for their kids like toilet training? And why do 1 in 5 children now have SEN?

My son is fairly non verbal and nearly four. The nursery has said to wait as he isn't ready. I would love some information on potty training ND children from the health visitor as I do want to start soon but there isn't any help. Only thing I have seen is on the ERIC website and that is it.

No annual leave allowance?

Is this the same report that seems to go around every now and then in the media to whip up outrage?

On the last thread, someone actually found the study and the questions it asked parents made them respond in certain ways so it felt quite misleading such as the potty training question which seemed to include a 4 year old having the odd accident not turning up in nappies completely clueless about using the toilet.

I’ve said for a while that this profile of non verbal autistic children has absolutely rocketed in the last 10 years. I would be interested to see some proper stats.

I literally just read about this on a news website so it’s pretty likely a thread would show up. Don’t read it if you’re not interested maybe 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't understand how this can happen. How can it be true? Unless there's some underlying condition, why would this be?

Maybe we should have parenting courses because clearly something is going really wrong.

No

Not everyone can afford that or have the headspace to do that. If you are struggling to afford to feed your child and heat your home your hardly going to be out shopping.

Plenty of british born adults are unable to read, this isn't a new problem.

A priority?

I mean by the time they start school they will have had 4 years to 'prioritise' showing them how a book works.

The excuses are stomach-churning.

I had no idea some people had such low expectations of both parents and children.

Good point. Ensuring your child is potty trained is nothing to do with money and everything to do with lack of care and nurture. Decades ago there was extreme poverty yet this didn't exist.

Quite simply too many people having kids they are unfit to parent. They need to be punished to ensure good decent people have kids.
Do not allow kids in schools unless potty trained and take away any benefits the parents receive. If nothing else it will stop them from having more kids

So much of what makes a child school ready would actually make the parents' lives easier if they put the initial effort in. Things like dressing themselves, doing their coat up, eating properly, following simple instructions. Get those sorted and the parent doesn't have to spend time doing it while rushing to get out of the house and everyone arrives at school on time, less flustered and in a better frame of mind for learning. Teach the child to follow instructions by demonstrating what you expect and making it a regular thing and they can help with household tasks like laying the table, putting socks on a drawer, putting toys away etc. Fine motor skills are also important for school readiness to help with pencil grip etc but don't need to be taught explicitly so needn't take up much time in a parent's busy timetable. Just providing a range of toys which involve small finger movements like stickers, sorting small toys or objects into different pots, stickle bricks etc. Also colouring pencils / crayons and paper.

If parents can't afford a range of toys for fine motor skills or don't have alot of space, alot can be done with existing household objects. Eg moving small balls of paper (could be old magazines etc) from one pot to another using finger and thumb. Extra points if the child rips up the paper too. Colouring / writing on the back of envelopes or scrap paper. Toys from Freecycle etc or rolling a ball or other round object backwards and forwards on the floor.

Toilet training is trickier so I can see why some might struggle to find the time, but it is probably the most important school readiness skill. The earlier it is done the better so that children aren't aware of it as such and get less set in the habit of using nappies.

Headspace? But if you do have children you take on responsibility for their welfare to the best of your ability surely. They should be your priority.

And yes you will go shopping at some point in 4 years, and probably to a library too.
I agree that there needs to be more social support but we do need to hold adult parents to some standards and responsibilities with regards their children’s welfare.

Also makes the kids suffer.

My experience is secondary but there are an awful lot of parents who think raising and managing their children is the teachers problem to solve. Lots of parents need to be taught the meaning of parental responsibility.

I desperately tried to get DD fully potty trained before school but she had bowel issues and so I wasn’t really able. School made it very clear they weren’t happy even though it was a medical issue.

and completely discriminates against the SEND children or children with other medical reasons who are unable to be potty trained by 4.

That is the excuse those who parent to a poor standard use. They need to face their parental duties and ultimately their kids should know if their parents failed them.

I have no expectations of parents and children.
I do however have some knowledge of poverty and the impact that has on behaviour and I'm merely trying to explain to you the link between absolute poverty and gaps in parenting.
You can of course dismiss the findings of academic research in favour of hyperbole about the impact on your digestive system if you choose.
However seeing this issue purely in terms of individual failing, rather than something that is becoming an increasing pattern in our society, isn't going to identify and address the root cause.
No parent did a better job to avoid churning your stomach. Plenty do a lot better when their basic needs of survival are met.

Many women live in abusive relationships so yes they may not have the headspace to be the best possible parent. In the past these people would have had much more intervention and support but now the first time they become 'known' is when the DC start school. The previous government actively decided to remove funding that supports these women and children.

You live in a position where you cannot imagine how some people live in the UK and that is great. But that comes from a place of luck and privilege not superiority.

Because society needs children to be raised well?

I wonder how that stats
compare with Scotland where most children are older going to school. Min age 4.5.

small differences in age make a big difference and England send kids to school too young

The examples you use shouldn't be having children in the first place. They are unfit parents way beyond lack of potty training. Horrendous what they inflict on their beautiful innocent kids due to selfishness and poor choices.

It's also far from basic in many cases when you throw in SEND and/or other medical issues.

This. Its dismal. Something has to change. The news reports are correct. There are many children coming to school not ready. The newspaper articles are to highlight this. The discussion forums just keep blaming SEN. That is not the only issue here.....

There's really absolutely no need for teaching children phonics before school unless they are showing an interest in wanting to learn, and the parent actually knows what they are doing, which most don't with synthetic phonics. Potty training is essential however.