To give up Housing Association house and buy house with partner?

[Housingquandary]

I live in a new build HA house with my daughter. It's a 2 bedroom and is very small but it's a nice quiet area and lots of schools nearby.
My partner is divorced and lives with his mum , he has started talking about living together and getting a bigger place together. My place is nice but it really is noticably crampled especially when he stays over. We don't live together and I do like my own space , I also am terrified of getting a mortgage and the financial burden and responsibility especially now as I'm in early 40s, but the idea of a bigger house is so appealing. Would I be mad to give up my house and do this? I was so lucky and grateful to get this house in the first place.
It's an ok size for me and my daughter but when he is here, it just feels cramped and not big enough for 3 people. I should also add we have been together for 2 years.

Yes you would be mad too!

At least live together for a couple of years to make sure you’re truly compatible. I don’t see how 2 adults and a child won’t fit comfortable in a 2 bed house, even a small house.

Even if you’re truly meant to be after living together for a long time, I’d really have to think long and hard at giving up a HA property if it is low rent and a lifetime tenancy. Giving up private rented for buying a home I would understand.

Please don’t force your daughter to live with an unrelated male, especially so early on in a relationship. As others have said: it might seem all fine and dandy while she’s 10 but it won’t be when she’s a teenager. My partner was in exactly this scenario just before we met and it was a living nightmare for all concerned, so we made the decision to live separately while my daughter was growing up. Her security and comfortable space were more important than our needs. She left home some time ago but has said that although she loves my partner she really appreciated me putting her first by maintaining our ‘safe space’. Interestingly I think my relationship with my partner is better than it would’ve been had we all lived together as we’ve not taken our time together for granted and he hasn’t been forced to parent somebody else’s child. We’ve chosen when to be together and when to be apart and it’s worked out well for all of us.

Wow, I became disabled as an adult, which is why I have the house, my daughter and her partner already have more than I do in their 20s, but I fought for this place so she always had security no matter what.
The only one of my neighbours who doesn't work is the one who is retired.
You clearly don't know much.

Please don’t give up your lovely HA home. I grew up in one and was always so happy my mum never gave up our HA home to live with her boyfriend.

Yes it is possible, it's called assigning a tenancy. I did it myself once my DS turned 18 as I bought a property on the open market.

OP get advice from Shelter to discuss your options and potential consequences, as there is always inaccurate advice online.

england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/council_housing_association/assigning_a_tenancy

I really haven’t embarrassed myself! HA properties are HEAVILY SUBSIDISED by the state! They are for people on low-incomes who can’t afford private housing! The OP is asking for OPINIONS as to whether she should give up her HA property and buy a house with her partner, and I gave mine!

I wouldn't give up the house. You mightnt get another one so easily again. You might find out that theres a good reason he's divorced later on the line. You would want to be very very sure you like him and that you can afford the mortgage also. It's a big risk on your side of things. Maybe when your daughters a bit older you could think about it

Absolutely not.
Do not be one of those women that gambles her housing security and that of her child.
So wrong.
No he can buy.
He lives with mummy doing everything no doubt.
Are you out of your mind?
Put your child first.
Let him crack on.

Yeah give it back so other people can have a safe place to call home. You obviously feel like you don’t need it, so give it back and then if ut all goes tits up again you can wait for another opportunity for social housing (which I hope is a fair wait, you having given up a social housing accommodation)

Your partner needs become independent from his mum
get his own place.
them you spend nights at each others houses to see what really being together might be like
do not give up your freedom and financial independence or your daughter’s space

Yes you can, she can apply to assign the tenancy to her daughter if she meets the criteria. I’ve worked in social housing for over 20 years in a housing association and I deal with assignments all the time

2yrs is nothing

don’t give up your cheap safe secure housing

he wants to move out from mummy. Fair enough but not at your expense

assume you are on uc. Likely to lose that if live together. Is he willing to support you and your 10yr

carry on dating. See how it goes but don’t give up home

Definitely not. You'd be mad to give up this security. Think of your daughter.

I'm not surprised he's champing at the bit to get a house that you can share paying a mortgage on given that he's currently living with his Mum. And I doubt he can afford to buy a property on his own.

2nd marriages have a higher failure than first marriages.

You're in such a good position atm. I wouldn't risk it.

When I met my now husband, I was single and had a 1 bedroom HA flat

He moved in with me. He had children , just toddlers , who came for holidays ( lived in a different country ) and we made it work for years - when they were toddlers they were in our bed with daddy, then we got a sofa bed, and so it went on till we were sure we were committed and went for the joint mortgage and buying together to give us the room we needed

I would not every give up security for a man I only knew for 5 mins of my life !!!

And to be kind, I think you would be mad too.

Your child comes first. Your child deserves stability , and once you loose a secure tenancy , you may never get one again

If you want to move him in, strip back what you have in the flat to make it feel like their is more space

2 years?! Fuck no!!!

Wild guess.....he cant afford to buy on his own?

As a PP said, no man falls in love faster than one who has nowhere to live.

You have though, you really really have.

I am actually cringing at your lack of knowledge, in fact your second post showed your ignorance even more!

No please do not do this. His housing situation is not your issue. You don’t realised how lucky you are to have that secure tenancy. Your daughter will only be young for such a short time, enjoy the time with her and enjoy dating too if you wish - once they move in it’s rarely as much fun anyway in my experience!

Dont just dont you will be vulnerable

Well instead of standing there in the corner cringing, why don’t you enlighten me as for whom housing association properties are?

Do not do this. You will be back on here in 2 years time, full of regret.
Never move a man into your home with your child.
Never give up your independence.
Never give up your own home and financial independence .

If it's just the size of your home that is a problem you could probably easily do an exchange to another HA property. A new build in a nice area will be sought after. I wouldn't be in a rush to give up your tenancy, though.

I presume that he’s moved back in with his Mum because he didn’t come out of his marriage with much and is paying child maintenance?

If that’s the case, he’s got responsibilities and so have you to your DD. What if your DD decides that she doesn’t like him when she’s an awkward teenager? If he also has children, what if they decide that they want to live full-time with their Dad?

Keep your independence and he can keep his. If you’re still going strong in a few years, reconsider, but not now.

Could you look at a mutual exchange (try the home swapper website) to exchange to a larger HA property. Often you are allowed one bedroom over so long as you can afford it.

That way you can trial living together for a few years with the security of your sole tenancy before taking the plunge and buying?

I agree with most of the PP upthread. Social housing in a quiet area with good schools - whats not to like. OK so the house is small and that creates problems but you have a secure home. The fact that a man of 40 is still living with his mum raises a big red flag to me. Take not of what other PP have asserted about men looking for a mum/housekeeper.

You need a very frank sit down and talk to find out what savings your bf has and what his realistic plans are.

Yeah, don't do it. You'd be moving from what sounds like a secure and comfortable space for you two (albeit maybe a bit small) to something less secure, with financial commitments and an unsure future. The move would of course benefit him (doesn't have to live with his mum) but will almost certainly be not as good for both you and your daughter.