To give up Housing Association house and buy house with partner?

[Housingquandary]

I live in a new build HA house with my daughter. It's a 2 bedroom and is very small but it's a nice quiet area and lots of schools nearby.
My partner is divorced and lives with his mum , he has started talking about living together and getting a bigger place together. My place is nice but it really is noticably crampled especially when he stays over. We don't live together and I do like my own space , I also am terrified of getting a mortgage and the financial burden and responsibility especially now as I'm in early 40s, but the idea of a bigger house is so appealing. Would I be mad to give up my house and do this? I was so lucky and grateful to get this house in the first place.
It's an ok size for me and my daughter but when he is here, it just feels cramped and not big enough for 3 people. I should also add we have been together for 2 years.

You’d be absolutely crazy to do that, give it another year and see how you feel then.
He needs to live alone for a while and see how he is then.

There isn't enough room for 3 of them! He has no space of his own so he wants her to give up her security and space to make him feel comfortable. What is he giving up?

Presumably if he lives with his mum you and daughter never stay at his? Because that’s the solution he needs to look at - how’s he getting himself a bigger place/his own place, before asking you to give up your housing security. Such red flags for me that he’d even ask you to consider giving up your HA place!

If you do this you need your bumps felt.

Your daughter is on the brink of lots of changes so although they get on now, things are likely to be different in the next few years.

Also getting on is one thing, but sharing a home with an unrelated male all the time is something else.

If he has funds to buy a place, I agree the best thing would be for him to buy another small place really near you, in walking distance. So you all still have your own space but can easily spent time together.

Don't do it, I've seen this scenario 3 times, I think it's crazy. You will be reliant on him for housing, overlooking things you wouldn't normally in a relationship because the stakes are much higher of splitting up, it sounds a nice house and set up for you and DD, id continue to date especially as has only been 2 years, and revaluate in a while, that security will be worth everything if things go wrong, hopefully they won't but many relationships do and things change so if I was you id keep hold of it, is any chance to extend for a extra room? I have a ha property and was allowed to convert a garage, you need permission but some things are allowed if that's a possibility at all to get a extra room/space

Don't give up your daughter's security (and your own!) for a man. Just don't.

Agree with all of this.
You don't live together now. If it didn't work out you would be screwed.
He absolutely should buy his own house, you and DD can stay over. As she gets older things will change and your loving child at 10 can become a very sullen, rude, moody child and who knows how a new partner will react to that.
Keep your secure housing.

Ask yourself why a bloke his age is living with his mum? Why hasn’t he got his own place? Who’d pay the deposit?

As pp have stated, your DD might think he’s a superhero now but as she grows up will a divide emerge? Please don’t risk your relationship with your daughter simply to keep your bedmate happy.

Social housing isn't subsidised; in the medium-long term, it's self-financing.

The money borrowed to build the house is been paid off from rental income, after that, the rents cover all the cost of management and maintenance, and any surplus goes back into the housing budget, where it can be used to build more houses.

People paying higher rents in the private sector and qualifying for UC as a result probably get more in subsidy from the state, and it ends up in the pockets of private landlords and pays off their BTL mortgages, giving them a valuable asset at the end of the mortgage term.

Don't do it. Two years is no time at all when you have a child. You and your daughter deserve your own place. She is heading towards her teens and exam years, let her have the space with just you and her to get through it.

If he really wants his own place he can save hard and get a flat. I expect he will expect you to be a housekeeper if you move in together. I've been a lone parent for for fifteen years, I would never ever live with someone again.

You would be absolutely mad.

Your absolute priority is safe and secure housing for your daughter, do not gamble this on something that may or may not work out if you look 10 years into the future. If you want to take a gamble, wait until your DD has left uni, or has a job and her own secure wage to fall back on for housing and then make the leap, not before. Meanwhile he can buy his own flat and you can all just squish together for visits, even if that is for a decade or so.

Not with a daughter of that age, not without a back up plan.

Id be very wary of men if I had a daughter and I definitely wouldn’t give up our home..

Wrong thread, ignore!

HRTFT but don’t do it. Always keep a safe home for yourself and your daughter that you have control of. Please.

It sounds too convenient for him. Let him do the graft of moving into his own place and keeping that for a while. At the moment you don’t know what sort of housekeeper he is, how he manages money, anything like that. He might be looking for another mother to look after him but with sex available as well! Hopefully not but you won’t know until it’s too late.

This.
Please don't!

I suspect he’s the one saying it’s small. That’s what I was told and the repercussions were awful. Keep your independence - men can change once you are trapped.

Too soon. Your relationship has only been 24 months.

Saying this, you’d also not want to leave getting the mortgage too late either as the banks may only give you a 15 year mortgage rather than 25 due to your age.

I’d leave it another 3 years, if you’re still together then, go for it!

No, in your position I would not. I would not as I would not risk my and my daughter’s stability and happiness to benefit only my partner. I would choose to live apart many more years first. I would recommend my partner buys a small place on his own. If you were to move in together further down the line, it puts him in a better position to do so as he will build up equity.

100% this!

I'm was also in a lovely 2 bed new build similar situation however it wasn't that cramped anyhow difference was my now hubby was working and already had his own flat after a while he moved into ours to trial that and after that we then got a place together, married etc...what puts me off here is he still lives with his mum so no experience of living with you or having a house of his own. I wouldn't do it that way

At two years this man wouldn't even have met my child, thats madness. Absolutely no i wouldn't be moving him in or buying a place together. I've just bought a place with my partner after 13 years together. To be fair 10 of those were saving the deposit but really, you need to be careful with an almost teen daughter

Do not give up your HA house! As pp have said 2 years isn't very long and if your DP wants to move out from his mother's home (understandable) he should rent or buy somewhere of his own.

Op hasn’t told us the partners age?

Your current house is probably best used by someone who doesn't have the options that you have.