To give up Housing Association house and buy house with partner?

[Housingquandary]

I live in a new build HA house with my daughter. It's a 2 bedroom and is very small but it's a nice quiet area and lots of schools nearby.
My partner is divorced and lives with his mum , he has started talking about living together and getting a bigger place together. My place is nice but it really is noticably crampled especially when he stays over. We don't live together and I do like my own space , I also am terrified of getting a mortgage and the financial burden and responsibility especially now as I'm in early 40s, but the idea of a bigger house is so appealing. Would I be mad to give up my house and do this? I was so lucky and grateful to get this house in the first place.
It's an ok size for me and my daughter but when he is here, it just feels cramped and not big enough for 3 people. I should also add we have been together for 2 years.

Dont talk wet! I've lived unmarried to my partner for over 22 years, my partner's mum has lived unmarried to her fella for 42 years, they are unmarried couples everywhere, we've got unmarried friends that have been together at least 10 years and there has been for decades! Can we stop being stupid! People live together without being married and even have kids together! It's massively sensible to live together and see if you are right for each other, you don't want to be finding out you aren't once you've bloody got married. Many people don't bother with marriage at all. I hate to break it to you but we left those backward times a long time ago.

Not a chance.

A secure tenancy is better than owning in many ways.

!!! 😂😂 @Zov xx

Don’t do it. If he wants to save for a house or flat (and if he’s been living with his mum that long he should have a hefty deposit) let him go ahead. I’d never give up a nice HA property in your position. Let your relationship continue with the current arrangement. You can always try for a house swap at some point.

@FlyingCatGirl Are you OK? Serious question. You seem really angry.

I wonder if you are angry because you're not married? And you are projecting?

I've got news for you. There is nothing 'backward' about getting married. It's very sensible, it's what people do when they love each other, and no WAY should any woman be having children with a man she is not married to.

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Oh dear......... So much rage.

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I also have a 10 year old daughter and live in new build social housing - I’m single but if I was to start dating there’s not a chance I would give up my home. Yes it’s small but we have it exactly as we love and it’s our place. Dating and living together are not the same. After so many years you will be able to buy your home and that is yours and your daughters safety net.

Well said Zara. x

For me they need to stop building social housing and start kicking people out who don't need it because they could actually afford to rent or pay mortgages themselves. Too many times now I have seen people simper about how wonderful their lovely new build council house is! Back in the day when people were being slung in some grotty block of flats or rough arsed estate, people had the impetus to get off their backsides and earn more to go and live elsewhere but now they don't need to bother even if they can afford to. Council houses do unfortunately lower the property values of innocent mortgage holders that live on the same estate.

I know everyone does this now, but it's a recent thing. My parents/ their friends/ grandparents... like it was unheard of to shack up together to see if you were compatible. Like gay sex was a crime/ death penalty in UK ... Modern life is very very different to the past. That's all I'm saying.
It's not always been as it is now.

100% Stay where you are, don’t give up your home …

That as the case may be, it is not automatically assumed and is at the discretion of the HA. Some grant succession some don't. If the tenancy starts before 2012 then its more likely to be given.

I honestly think the "you can afford it so you should give up your home" lot are living in cloud cuckoo land.
Lots of people got very wealthy under right to buy. Looks like right to buy was a massive mistake, but if I had a secure tenancy, there is no way on earth I'd give it up with the price of housing right now. Whether I got married, got a massive payrise, no way.

In the area I live, the rent you pay on social housing wouldn't get you a room in an hmo.

Why would people destroy their standard of living in the name of "fairness" for someone they don't know?
Most people put their family first. If you say you don't, you're either a bit stupid, or lying.

I agree with this.
I really don't think you should do this. If you can buy on your own, by all means go for that, but don't gamble your security.

Its not just the relationship though is it? Its what she could potentially lose if it all went wrong. Losing a lifetime of guaranteed housing security for herself and her daughter is a massive gamble based on just 2yrs especially as they've never actually lived together fully. That can change the relationship dynamics massively.

Stay put.

Exactly 💯
Once he has got u tied in to him , with it difficult now to leave.
Ahhh time for him to sit back and let u do everything.
This is the moment the mask will slip and u will see the real him.
Do not do it OP.

I (stupidly) did this with my HA property! One of my biggest regrets.
I was with my ex for 6 years before his parents gifted us a deposit and we jumped head first into buying somewhere.
He lived with me for 12ish months before we got the keys to the house, everything seemed perfect, then from the moment I handed my HA property keys back he changed and became very emotionally abusive to me.
Thankfully no kids involved.

Obviously this doesn't happen to everyone but I would never encourage anyone to give up their property, especially when they have kids too.

Do not at all cost surrender your independence and the security for life that you have in order to assist your boyfriend buy a bigger property than he can afford on his own. If he doesn't like that fuck him. You have yourself and your kids to think of first. He can have his place and you can have yours and when the kids are bigger you can both visit and stay in one another's places. I sold my lovely flat to move in with my Partner at the time and came out a lot poorer on the deal. Very long story. My advice....stay put. And I'm a bloke but I hate to see anyone losing out

Don’t give it up! Please!!

Absolutely dont!! He buys his house, your relationship continues and you stay over. Your daughter needs her own home that’s separate. If youre still together in many years then sure move in, once your daughter is older. You can be together but still have independent homes. Your daughter comes first.

No. You have security, near good schools and in a good area. Just no. If it all falls apart you’ll both be homeless, her life will be turned upside down and you’ll be at the end of all lists for another house which will take years. We can’t always have everything we want but you’re in a good place.

HousingQuandry
Don't do it
Put yourself plus daughter first
You've a two bedroomed house
Which to anyone else out there on a housing list or in inadequate hostel accommodation would be a godsend
Do you actually have the wherewithal to take on a mortgage?
And what's his employment status like?
Are you sure you want to work your socks off only to make mortgage money and if you lost your job would he be happy to make payment on his own?
Also in the housing association I reside with I get yearly boiler checks have had radiators replaced fusebox checks and have been told that my window frames and french windows will eventually need replacing
Owning your own you'd need to have the money for maintenence on top of other payments so do you?
You may want to buy but I don't think it's a good idea
If everything goes pear shaped
You'll not get another housing association property
And
The council will then only because you've a child put you into wherever they can fit you;
Betting it'll not be a two bedroomed house.

who says he saved money living with his mum...he might be there helping her out money wise??