To give up Housing Association house and buy house with partner?

[Housingquandary]

I live in a new build HA house with my daughter. It's a 2 bedroom and is very small but it's a nice quiet area and lots of schools nearby.
My partner is divorced and lives with his mum , he has started talking about living together and getting a bigger place together. My place is nice but it really is noticably crampled especially when he stays over. We don't live together and I do like my own space , I also am terrified of getting a mortgage and the financial burden and responsibility especially now as I'm in early 40s, but the idea of a bigger house is so appealing. Would I be mad to give up my house and do this? I was so lucky and grateful to get this house in the first place.
It's an ok size for me and my daughter but when he is here, it just feels cramped and not big enough for 3 people. I should also add we have been together for 2 years.

I did this and two years later, separated and had nothing for a deposit. It took five years to raise enough again to buy.

i was so cross that i had gambled my security and lost.

I guess this so the worst possible outcome, but worth considering what your back up plan is if it doesn’t work out. The rental market is awful in my area and buying is so very hard too as a single parent.

Yabvu sorry

you’re not even married (which you don’t need to be obvs but to give up your lifetime tenancy which can be passed onto your child, and the option to swap for another housing association house is insanity imo for a two year relationship

I would only leave if I could afford to buy on my own. Sorry to be so blunt xx

Two years is not long at all.

I’d be concerned about your partners motivations - like if getting out from his mum a big part of it. Why is he still living with his mum as an adult and not self sufficient? You don’t want to take that on and become the ‘next mum’.

I’d be keeping my place for a leasr another year or two. Security for your child comes first. Could he move in with you?

if he’s a good in he will understand you need to put your child first, and that means stability.

If you don't live together then I don't understand why it's more cramped now that you are dating him?

How old is your daughter? Please don't invite an unrelated male into her safe place.

Secure housing, quiet area, near schools - these are gold dust. Added to that you like your space and haven't lived together, I would be very wary of giving up the house. That said, buying a home together with your partner is a lovely thing so never say never.

Can I ask how old your daughter is? If she's a teen she may move on herself to uni or travel and then space frees up.

You say it's cramped? Is it lack of storage? Small bathroom? There are lots of ways to free up space and make it your own. I would exhaust all those options and commit to living together for at least a couple of years to ensure this is a forever thing and risking the house by buying together.

I wouldn’t.

I think you would be nuts to give up your home to move in with a guy you've only been with 2 years.

How old is your daughter?

Why doesn't he buy his own place?

I'd also be wondering if he would be expecting his mother to move in at some point.

I'm his 40s and living with his mum? That would be a no for me. How about he buys a small flat with the money he, presumably, saved while living with his mum and you can visit.

My daughter is 10 and they get on very well., she's very fond of him. She won't be moving out any time soon.

How long has he been staying with his mum, can he afford to buy on his own, how is he getting on with his mum. Nothing makes man fall in love faster than having insecure housing.

What are your respective finances like, will you lose UC if you live together, do you have enough saved for a deposit, does he?

I’d want some very open book discussions about finances, if he’s living with his mum and assuming he’s working he should have a decent amount saved.

Does your DD want a man moving in to her home, what’s their relationship like, how does he view your child, does he have children from his previous relationship, what contact arrangements are in place and how much maintenance is he paying?

Once children are in the picture it’s not as simple as deciding to live together, there’s so much more to consider. I’d plan on staying put, let him sort out his living arrangements and then see where you stand.

NO don’t do it

This
don’t give up your own home as if you split up with him private rentals are then a lot more money you’d be crazy to even be considering this!

How long does he stay over for, is he messy?

Not in a million years would I do this. Social housing tenacies are like gold dust.

Certainly not after just 2 years.

Don't know if I ever would to be honest.

Maybe once your daughter is 18 you could pass the tenancy to her and buy with him if you’re still with him. But right now it would be madness.

No, I wouldn't. Considered this once, but it would have been a huge mistake as the relationship failed. Wouldn't risk ending up being homeless with kids, no way.

Hard no from me. You will have absolutely no security, especially as you aren’t married, and you’ll never get another HA place.

It is perfectly possible to have a loving and committed relationship without living together - I did it for 20 odd years, out of choice. Tell your partner to buy a small flat of his own near you.

No flipping way. He still lives with his mum? 🚩

Right now your daughter likes him because she is 10, wait till she hits her teens as that might change. One's own teens can be incredibly challenging (ask me how I know) never mind other people's. Please do not make your daughter share a home with a newish partner.

Who would be putting down the deposit for this house to buy and who would be getting the mortgage?

No. Absolutely no way.

You have a great house that suits you and your daughter. She’s the central pivot here. She’s 10, he doesn’t live in her house, so it’s much easier for her to get along with him.

You and her are safer, in every way including financially, by retaining your home and independence.

Have the best of both worlds; a happy secure home with your daughter and a partner who comes around and then goes. Let him buy his own place.

No, I wouldn’t.

You can't just give someone your HA house.

The house would only pass to her daughter if she died, its called succession. If OP gave up her tenancy her daughter would just be homeless at 18.

I couldn't risk my own and DC's security over a 2 year relationship. HA properties are often half the cost of private rentals. If you give up your security and it all goes wrong you won't just be given another HA property. Wait until your DD is over 18. Tell your partner to buy his own house.