To give up Housing Association house and buy house with partner?

[Housingquandary]

I live in a new build HA house with my daughter. It's a 2 bedroom and is very small but it's a nice quiet area and lots of schools nearby.
My partner is divorced and lives with his mum , he has started talking about living together and getting a bigger place together. My place is nice but it really is noticably crampled especially when he stays over. We don't live together and I do like my own space , I also am terrified of getting a mortgage and the financial burden and responsibility especially now as I'm in early 40s, but the idea of a bigger house is so appealing. Would I be mad to give up my house and do this? I was so lucky and grateful to get this house in the first place.
It's an ok size for me and my daughter but when he is here, it just feels cramped and not big enough for 3 people. I should also add we have been together for 2 years.

Don’t do it x

No, as a very cynical jaded 58 Yr old, keep your house and your independence. You can have a relationship still, just from the perspective of him in his house and you in yours, no way would I give that up,

I justbwant to point out that the property would only go to her daughter if she was living with her and OP passes away.

Her daughter is 10! If her daughter still lives with her at 50 and OP is 85 (or whatever age) then her daughter would succeed the property.

But if OPs daughter moves out at 25 she has no rights to the home at the point OP leaves it (through choice or death)

Sorry to be so morbid but there seems to be some misconceptions on here that her daughter can just have the house once she is old enough.

No, don’t give up your secure tenancy. You are not beholden to a private landlord who could kick you out at anytime. You have something precious and you’re lining nobody’s pockets. If your man is worth his salt, he’ll understand you have too much to risk at this stage in your relationship.

You would do that to your daughter? Give up a very secure affordable tenancy and move in a man that you have known for 2 years and still lives with his mum?

I despair, I really do.

Fair enough but it’s still a very secure, affordable tenancy and OP would be crazy to swap that for a mortgage with a man she’s known for 2 years…

I think you would be absolutely mad to give your security and that of your daughter's up for a man of 2 years who lives with his mother.

Grear idea for him wanting to escape his living situation. Ridiculously high risk for you.

If you are still together when your daughter turns 18, consider it then.

Your daughter comes first.

I absolutely agree.

I'm not encouraging her otherwise but I just didn't want her to think her DD can just have the house willynilly. Its actually quite rare that people inherit HA houses from parents.

Me too!
Think about what you’re putting on the line.
your security of home and finances.
your daughters security of home.

all for a man you’ve known 10 minutes - who lives with his mum.

what are your respective financial positions? Does he have a fortune stacked somewhere for a deposit?

Don't do it. I know someone who did this and is struggling trying to get private rented places due to them separating not long after. Always keep your safety net

I know,she still shouldn't give up the tenancy.

@Housingquandary don’t do it ! Don’t give up your daughter’s security for any man. .
He home should be her safe place . All the time in the world when she moves out untill then enjoy your freedom . His living arrangements aren’t your concern , your daughter stability is .

That's a great plan.

The daughter could only take over the OP's tenancy if the OP dies.

He could buy a nice house and show you he can look after it and himself and then ask you to marry him and live in it.

If he can’t or won’t, keep him as a boyfriend.

Absolutely never.
I have a lifetime tenancy and I'd need a lottery win before I'd even consider giving it up.
I'd like to move area, but it will only happen if I can swap mine on the same terms, otherwise I'll stay put.

A friend of mine did pass her tenancy to her daughter around 10 years ago, but maybe that's not possible now, no idea.

I wouldn’t want to be subsidised by the state forever, and then have my daughter be stuck in a generational poverty/dependency cycle on the state as well. It’s good to be aspirational and want to own your own house. However, I would only do it if you’re really sure of this man and the strength of your relationship.

Someone I knew did this. The relationship lasted all of six months. Don’t do it.

Absolutely, 100% not.

Give your head a wobble, you want to give up a secure property that you can live in your whole life and provide a secure base for your DC and your financial independence for a man; who lives with his Mum and you have only known for a couple of years.

Better for you both to have your own places and you can live between both addresses.

I would never. I know the appeal of a bigger house, but my own security and personal space comes first. You're lucky in the first place to secure a new 2 bed for you and your daughter, you'd be mad to give that up especially with what the housing situation is like at the moment.

What a ludicrous, narrow-minded post. You assume everyone in social housing is being subsidised by the state, in poverty, and not independent?! Around 50% of people in social housing HAVE A JOB. Around 20% are pensioners. Many people PAY THEIR OWN RENT.

Dear me! You've embarrassed yourself with that post!

!

I do like my own space , I also am terrified of getting a mortgage and the financial burden and responsibility especially now as I'm in early 40s

You're not ready to move in yet.
Tell him this honestly & openly - his reaction will be an indicator whether you made the right decision.

Edited to add: I would be suspicious that he's so keen because he lives with his mum, not because he thinks it's the right time or sees a lifetime together.

Personally I think that any man who is still living with his mum in his 40s (barring SEN, caring duties etc) is a) financially feckless, b) lazy and/or c) such a nightmare to live with that only his mother can tolerate him.

I'd want to see what he was like living in and looking after his own place for a few years before I was even prepared to consider it. Even then I'd be reluctant as your current setup sounds great for your daughter, and she needs to be the priority here. I don't think I could risk something going wrong and being left in the lurch.

No way. At the moment you have a guaranteed secure home for your daughter, all of your house repairs done at no extra cost, affordable rent. Why gamble all that on a new-ish relationship?

Absolutely no way. That home is your safety net. I would never buy a house with someone I wasn’t married to.