To give up Housing Association house and buy house with partner?

[Housingquandary]

I live in a new build HA house with my daughter. It's a 2 bedroom and is very small but it's a nice quiet area and lots of schools nearby.
My partner is divorced and lives with his mum , he has started talking about living together and getting a bigger place together. My place is nice but it really is noticably crampled especially when he stays over. We don't live together and I do like my own space , I also am terrified of getting a mortgage and the financial burden and responsibility especially now as I'm in early 40s, but the idea of a bigger house is so appealing. Would I be mad to give up my house and do this? I was so lucky and grateful to get this house in the first place.
It's an ok size for me and my daughter but when he is here, it just feels cramped and not big enough for 3 people. I should also add we have been together for 2 years.

No girl, I will never agree with you

there’s a shortage of social houses because they’ve been sold off - often to landlords who then rent them out!!!

Social housing isn’t an entitlement, it is a right in a well developed society. It’s not the working class fault that thatcher decided she wanted to get the free market involved. the same with the nhs, education, and hopefully our utilities.

you keep on, op, I saw your updates - good decision x

You are ginormous assumptions! He's living with his mum because he's divorced and probably had to sell his house to split the proceeds. He's literally wanting to get a place! He's not clinging to his mother, he got divorced and needed a place to live in the interim. You are looking for problems that aren't there! He's being a sensible grown up trying to.get another place of his own! Nothing he's done is wrong or alarming!

So people with kids are absolutely not allowed to get into relationships? Don't be over the top abs give the OP credit to know who's she's being dating for two years! At 40 I doubt she's got a small child. Don't be so interfering!

No, don't give it up.
You can always attempt at a house swap later if you wish to try for a bigger property, there is probably someone out there who's children have left home and their larger house too big to look after who's looking for exactly what you have! That's what my next door neighbour did (my nice side, lol). HA are so thin on the ground, you'll be risking being homeless and you just can't do that to your daughter or yourself.

If he is the right person for you, he will understand and you guys will make it work.

Daughter is 10.

Oh my god what is it with some of you people! You are looking for stupid problems with his mother that aren't there! He moved home because he got divorced and probably had to sell his last property to split the proceeds. Why would his mother move in of she's got her own home! How many people move their mothers in with them!

As for tie ops house it doesn't belong to.her and if she can afford to get a mortgage then it's time to hand it back to someone that really needs it.

The poor bloke can't win, you.hate him living my with his mother but you don't want him living with the OP either! 2 years is enough time for two adults to be together and move in with each other! My partner and I met when I was 23 and he was 29, I left my horrible ex partner for him, he was living with his mum and her partner so I moved in with them quite quickly and he and I got a mortgage 6 months later. We are still doing just fine over 22 years later!

My next door neighbours son gave up his flat to move back home to look after his mum but for the moment, he's managing to keep working. She is a tenant and asked about him being left out in the lurch when she dies (she has heart failure). She was told that she is allowed to as she's never done it before, nor did she inherited a council home from her own parents. Would councils refuse this?

I was told that as long as I hadn’t already done it, I can pass it onto my autistic dd 🥺🥺

Girl? Yes houses have been sold off but do you not think it's adding to the issue that people with the finances to stand on their own two feet want to keep those houses for life just to save a few quid or to have somewhere to go back to if a relationship breaks down? When did social housing become about greed and entitlement! It is entitlement to get it and keep it whilst admitting you don't need it! What future has her relationship got if she won't live and behave like a normal couple. He's not going to be able to just move into her social house because his wages matter! And if she just moves him in and doesn't declare it, it's benefit fraud because she would have a partner living with her that has a salary.

There's no long term future in that though, people should want their kids to have careers and thrive rather than telling them to earn as little as possible so they can have a council funded property.

It's still a ridiculous extreme, interfering and unpleasant comment! A friend of ours raises his 21 year old as his own since meeting her mother when she was just months old, my partner's mum's partner has been around since my partner was 8 years old!

No. Wait til your dd is 18 and can choose whether to stay or leave.
Liking him few days a week is one thing..teenage girl and unrelated male ... you just do not know
And two years is nothing.
He can buy his own place.

Oh, are you a man? Do excuse me 💐💐

I do not think that, no. I think it’s despicable to blame ordinary people for the housing crisis, when it is solely down to the choices of the conservative government, and successive governments for not repealing the right to buy.

the right to buy is the sole cause of this problem, not families who’ve put down roots in an area and want to stay there 🙄

It's 2 years, not 2 months! How the hell did any of the MN neurotics ever get into relationships! People aren't allowed to date or live together on Mumsnet but they'll be pushed into immediate marriage though for sheer money and greed purposes. Some threads on Mumsnet just feel like a bunch of women that hate men!

Slightly different but my mum had her own home (owned with small mortgage) and her partner had his own home (owned no mortgage). They got together when in 1987.
In 1995 my grandmother died and my mum moved into her home.
She married in 1999 and they moved into together in 2000. My step dad lives in my mums house.
Their relationship has NOT SUFFERED because of not living together for 14 years. They stayed at each others houses, went on lots of holidays together, entertained at both houses.
My mum put me and her own security first.
Never EVER give up your security for a man.
The divorce rate is knocking on for 50%. Splitting up when you are just boyfriend and girlfriend (as that is what you are until you marry/civil partnership) has a much higher rate.
Dont do it.
With housing security in the state it is in right now and you are (I’m assuming) not in any position to buy on your own you would be mad as a hatter to give up your security.
If he loves you, he will understand.

Ask yourself why do you want to live with him?
Whats wrong with simply seeing him three or 4 times a week?
Your daughter does not need to share you.

'always been normal to live with a partner before marriage to check compatibility '. Oh my goodness, do you actually believe this?!
Hate to break it to you but it has absolutely not been the norm to live or sleep with your partner before marriage. This is a VERY recent thing

No I'm.female as my handle states but it's rude and aggressive to address me as "girl"! I repeat that yes selling housing stock hasn't help but when a lot of you insist on grabbing a social house and clinging on to it even when you financially don't need it and insisting on keeping it til you die and encouraging your kids to have the house and not have ambition and then the kids keep the house til they die and one greedy family ties up a house for what 80, 90, 100 year? You'd have to be thick that owtmsn removing social housing is just the same as buying it!

Your views are terrible

here’s some support 💐💐

Yeah, that's what it is, we all hate men. No-one has been trying to help and advise the OP, and stop her making a big mistake, giving up precious social housing for a man child who is nearly middle aged and still living with mummy.

No we just hate men.

@FlyingCatGirl · Today 21:48

So people with kids are absolutely not allowed to get into relationships? Don't be over the top abs give the OP credit to know who's she's being dating for two years! At 40 I doubt she's got a small child. Don't be so interfering!

And of course because the OP is 40, she can't possibly have a young child. LOL!!!! 😆Catch yourself on girl!

LMFAO. Just when you think you've seen it all on here! 😂

OP, you cling onto that social housing for dear life. Stay as long as you want. You are entitled. No matter how much it annoys people, and how jealous they are.

That poster is embarrassing herself! 😬

You never really know someone until you live with them. I wouldn't risk it. If your DD is happy with living with him, I'd try living together in your home before risking your home and savings on a joint mortgage.

@FlyingCatGirl

No I'm.female as my handle states but it's rude and aggressive to address me as "girl"!

YOUR NAME IS FLYINGCATGIRL. 😂

Didn't think that one through eh?!

😂😂😂 just quoting people all over the thread, looking for an argument

Yep. Maybe she's had a bad day. Let's not be too harsh on her. 😬

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😆