AIBU to be turned off by unwashed hands and a small package?

[Tink3rbell30]

I've recently been dating again after a bad experience and long break. I have known this person years and we have chatted quite often so the familiarity is there. 2 things: he has a very small package and the whole thing was just very awkward and it didn't really work. And after a random conversation it turns out that he doesn't wash his hands after going to the toilet (both a wee and poo). I'm really fussy with cleanliness and to me that is very basic hygiene.

AIBU to do a 180 turn on the whole thing? He is trying to make plans to see me this weekend as we speak. My friend says give it another meet up and see as sex is always very awkward at first but it's the hand washing thing aswell.

His filthy hands wouldn't be touching me or my home. I couldn't cope. I couldnt share or eat food with him either. Imagine him pinch a crisp 🤮. This is unfortunately something that once you know you can't unknown.

I couldn't be arsed with shit sex either. I'm to old for that shit. Bad sex if for your 20s. I'd also be wondering if he doesn't wash his hands does he wash his junk. No one wants a tiny cheesy penis.

Just the hand washing thing, absolutely no way. And as another poster said, it probably isn't his only hygiene issue. It's just disgusting

also said maybe I'm asexual?!

@Tink3rbell30 you need a new friend!

He then said that he doesn't, why he doesn't and why it isn't an issue 🤯

Seriously? You told him it matters to you and he tried to talk you out of it 😱
Come on, where is your self respect? This is a MUCH bigger red flag than the lack of hand-washing - he's gaslighting you before the relationship has even got off the mark!
This is not the behaviour of a man with a "nice" personality. It's the behaviour of a man who thinks he is always right and doesn't care what anyone else thinks. It won't get any better you know!

I was going to suggest some polite words about "only being ready for a platonic relationship right now", but NO - just tell him the reason and move on.

You're right.. thank you for this! I'm completely out of touch with dating now so this whole little experience hasn't really been encouraging 😂

And the small peen was clean but that's the only positive I've got. Luckily he has not made me food or been to my house to spread poo germs there!

In that case he’s not going to be too surprised if you end it.

The poor hygiene would put me right off.
Theres no way a person is clean in every way except for that. If he's not washing his hands after using the loo then he's dirty fucker in other areas too.

I'm not sure your friend knows what asexual is so I wouldn't be listening to her.

If you have a size preference thats every bit as valid as every other dating preference.

It does, takes all sorts!

I feel I need to find out from a man straight away from now on and check that they do!

I'd love to be a fly on the wall during that conversation.

I know its a bit OTT to some but I even wash my hands after accepting a parcel from a courier.

I was shocked as he always looks and smells clean but obviously not! Yes I don't expect or even like massive penises but we are talking around 4" and quite skinny. I will be ignoring my friend's comments after getting everyone's thoughts on here.

She could put it on her dating profile: not interested in men that don't wash their hands after the toilet !

I do too! Must be loads of germs on them from being handled and you clearly can't trust people to wash their hands. I will be bringing it up on a first meeting always from now on 😂

Give him your " friends " number, she sounds anything but.

I feel I need to find out from a man straight away from now on and check that they do!

I know! I'm biting down on the urge to ask my DP ... but I'm afraid I will regret it!

Both these things would turn me off.

oooh dreadful ick re hands! Yanbu!

Please do and report back!

Is it 4”flaccid? If so, it’s not that small.

What an excellent question you asked him. I will give him points for being honest and therefore giving you a simple route to ‘I think we’re just better as friends’ —who never share food—

Penises - well, they vary and it’s certainly possible to have a smaller size and still rock someone’s world. But whatever the reason, your world remained resolutely unrocked, and there’s no need to revisit that. Tbh this is why I believe in having sex asap when dating.

YUCK

I could get away with the small package as I don’t like massive ones.

The lack of hand washing would be a massive turnoff. Can imagine his hygiene down below won’t be the best either. 😷

My dh definitely washes his hands after a poo. It’s gross not to and would totally put me off.

He can get into the habit of washing his hands, but the other issue seems more permanent.

Yuk, I'd dump him AND the 'friend' who thinks this is good enough for you.

I actually do not believe that someone would openly admit, in casual conversation with someone they wish to have regular sex with, that they never wash their hands after taking a shit?!

Even if they, for whatever reason, chose not to (the mind boggles) what could they possibly gain from announcing it to a potential love interest?!

So if this is true, obviously you never touch him again. But again I'm sceptical.

I am disappointed that your friend thinks someone who cannot manage basic hand hygiene is a man who should be in your life.

The only question should be when you tell him you want no further dates, whether you just mention the lack of basic hygiene and nothing else.

Shit sex and shitty hands. Absolutely not.