AIBU to be turned off by unwashed hands and a small package?

[Tink3rbell30]

I've recently been dating again after a bad experience and long break. I have known this person years and we have chatted quite often so the familiarity is there. 2 things: he has a very small package and the whole thing was just very awkward and it didn't really work. And after a random conversation it turns out that he doesn't wash his hands after going to the toilet (both a wee and poo). I'm really fussy with cleanliness and to me that is very basic hygiene.

AIBU to do a 180 turn on the whole thing? He is trying to make plans to see me this weekend as we speak. My friend says give it another meet up and see as sex is always very awkward at first but it's the hand washing thing aswell.

l do wish posters would stop encouraging yet another poo troll.

you ve got two problems now, his penis, lack of hygiene and a horrible friend, who does not have your best interests at heart. Since she knows now about him and wants to pair you with him, her desire is to see you having less

God no. Even if there was any hope of the sex improving it’d be impossible as I’d be repulsed at him touching me with his filthy paws! Next!

Why would you NOT tell him the genuine reason?! You don't have to protect his feelings, it's disgusting. I'd be saying that "there's no way I could feel sexual about someone who doesn't understand basic hygiene, sorry. Happy to be friends, but I won't be coming round for a meal at yours any time soon".

You don't even need to get into the small package bit, someone who doesn't wash hands after a POO let alone a wee and admits it, that is absolutely gross.

This! I can't believe these things need asking but now I know they do. But I'm so put off now I feel like I can't even be bothered for anyone and having to ask so many basic questions regarding hygiene.

eugh! Not washing hands after going to the toilet is disgusting 🤮

Tell him sorry you are busy washing your hands all weekend..
I would tell him his hygiene standards don't cut it for you.
Why not?

YANBU.

Big turn off dirty git.🤢🤮

this it’s vile.

Yes I thought they did and he looks and smells clean so I didn't even question it. Now I know he doesn't I would be questioning anyone else I date now. Oh really.. that is gross. It's just such basic hygiene.

So on your friends logic let's say you focus more on hand stuff in the bedroom as you aren't compatible physiologically to have an orgasm from him using his penis... so he should use his poo hands in the bedroom?? That's OK??

No op, you are right your friend is wrong, and it doesn't matter if he doesn't touch poo, his hand is mm from his anus and Gooch and yes the poop, no way is it a sanitary experience. Does anyone deliberately touch poo when they wipe?? No. Yet we all wash our hands. Though now I'm wondering how many actually do 😂

Crying at ‘shitty little hands’ 🤣🤣 thanks, I needed that!

Yes I'm questioning her as a friend now as she does seem adamant that I'm wrong and harsh for feeling like this. Maybe she could go on a date with him.

I've got OCD so I was my hands about 15 times a day. I think I could vomit if I slept with someone and they told me this after !

Shitty little hands has got me too 😂😂 and Mr Bacteria. I will have to send the text as he's none the wiser and probably hoping to get the shitty little hands all over me again!

Seriously? You told him it matters to you and he tried to talk you out of it 😱Come on, where is your self respect? This is a MUCH bigger red flag than the lack of hand-washing-he's gaslighting you before the relationship has even got off the mark!This is not the behaviour of a man with a "nice" personality. It's the behaviour of a man who thinks he is always right and doesn't care what anyone else thinks. It won't get any better you know!

This! WTF?!

Tell him that it's not going to work out as you told him one of your red lines and he just crapped all over it, almost literally.

No, definitely wouldn’t be for me.
You can work with a small package as long as he’s clean. Clean hands is the basics of human decency.

YANBU - no hand washing is foul. I briefly dated a guy who was similar. The journey from his flat to mine was a train, tube and bus. He once got to mine, immediately went to pee (door open, bearing in mind this was only date 3), flushed, and just walked out and said he didn’t need to wash his hands because his penis is clean. Then he ate pizza with hands that had been all over public transport and pee. Safe to say, that was the end of that.

There’s a guy at work who never washes his hands after going to the toilet. He repulses me and I want to be sick when I see him come out of the toilet and walk straight past the sinks

The handfasting thing is a total no-no. Gross and a total turn-off.
I believe that physical attraction should be more or less instant. If it was then the 'small package' would not be so much of an issue.
The lack of attraction, combined with the pooey hands, has killed it dead!

He’d have been in the bin as soon as I found out he didn’t wash his hands. So grim.

End it, he's not the one. While you stay with him, it stops you finding the right man for you.

Yes. And it might also prevent him spreading germs to other people, plus he'd have a better chance of finding a woman to date. You'd be doing him a favour.