To want to leave my partner over a chocolate cake

[AreliabfMite]

Been with my partner 3 years. The relationship has been fine and we have been genuinely in love. Lived together 2 years.

I’m unexpectedly pregnant, 7 weeks. Partner was terrified at first but has come round to it and says he is looking forward to parenthood but there have been repeated instances of unpleasant and lazy behaviour from him.

I work Monday to Friday 9-6. It’s been shit as I’m exhausted with this pregnancy but life doesn’t stop when you’re pregnant so I’m pushing through it even though it is shit. His work is having a quiet spell at the moment which means he’s only working around 20 hours a week but getting full pay (he’s on a 45 hour contract.) Cooking is all left to me as it “stresses him out” and occasions where I’ve begged him to cook as I’m exhausted and feel sick I have been met with weaponised incompetence, magically forgetting how to make meals he used to make all the time before I moved in. Even household stuff such as folding clothes after they’ve been washed, he will fold them in such a ridiculous manner that I genuinely wonder how the fuck he’s managed to fold it in that shape and then I have to do it all again myself.

I have snapped today. On Saturday I visited my parents who live in another city 2 train rides away. In the city where I changed trains I had an hour to kill. There is a viral slice of chocolate cake (I know…) on Instagram that has been my pregnancy craving, and they had a store in this particular city. They do online orders too but I can never get one as they sell out. I decided to go and treat myself to one. Keep in mind this is a HUGE slice of cake and is essentially a full-size cake just in the shape of a slice.

I had a tiny bit of it (literally one spoon worth) at my parents Saturday evening but it made me feel sick so I put it away. Partner picked me up in the evening and I went straight to bed as I was knackered, cake was left in the fridge.

I was in bed until 1pm today due the pregnancy fatigue, woke up craving the cake. I go down to find he’s eaten the entire thing.

I snapped a bit and stated he knew I’d been craving it. I explained I didn’t mind him having some as it’s huge but to eat all of it was horrible of him. He’s telling me I’m hormonal and need to get over myself but it feels malicious. His excuse was that he was hungry because I didn’t cook last night and didn’t make breakfast this morning. I’m so fucking annoyed at him

Bloody hell the cake is just the final straw! He is showing you that he will be completely handing over ALL childcare duties to you and will also not lift a finger with household stuff. If you want to raise two babies go ahead. I’d be sitting him down and TELLING him he has to man up and be an adult. I’m afraid though that he will not stick around (or will if you are happy to mother him too).

All, by him.

Without even asking.

If he wants to eat all the babies food, that’s for him too of course.

What a way to miss the point.

OMFG what a selfish prick. Id be raging.

Did you skip comprehension classes in school?

His excuse was that he was hungry because I didn’t cook last night and didn’t make breakfast this morning.

It wouldn't surprise me if he threw it away as a punishment.

So many 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 OP!

He is a prick and things will be much harder if you have this baby.

OMG, he's showing you who he really is OP, a lazy misogynist pig who expects you to do all the cooking and housework because you're the woman. He has no empathy for your sickness and fatigue either. It won't get any better. Consider carefully if you want to stay with this twat, and also whether you want to co-parent with him. You'll be the one doing all the work in the home and for the baby. I doubt if he'll step up.

You didn't make breakfast? Is he incapable of putting some cornflakes and milk in a bowl? Can he make a cup of tea?

Run. You deserve so much better than this. You will be better off on your own.

Yeah, he’s no good.

Literally why would you tie yourself to this man he will get worse and worse
Cooking breakfast for him? Are you taking the piss or just happy to be a mug

Especially since he's working 20 hours only a week....

It was absolutely a punishment.

OP imagine in 8 months, having given birth, possible stitches, trying to establish breastfeeding, no sleep ....and this pathetic creature expects you to cook for HIM??

I’m joking! I understand perfectly well. This man is a prick and OP should dump him

He will get worse. Baby crying will be too stressful, he won't manage to change a nappy. Making bottles?, far too complicated. 7 weeks into the pregnancy and he's this pathetic already? Why bother, you'll have enough baby to look after when the 9 months are up, so why burden yourself with a man shaped baby too.

Do not have a baby with this utter incompetent twat. Your life will be a misery

Sounds like you’re already taking care of a baby.

Throw him out. The cake incident is a metaphor for your doomed future if you don’t.

You’ve lived with him for 2 years, has he always been like this? If so why on earth would you have kept him for that long? If not, and this is new “pregnancy” behaviour I’d run for the hills. He’s showing you exactly what to expect as a parent.

So hes lazy and incompetent, and you think your relationship is good??

He is not going to suddenly get better when you have a baby. He will get worse.

Do you want to have a baby? You have options.

If you do want to have the baby, then kick him out first

LTB

Stop doing him any meals or washing. You're not his maid, he needs to man up and quick. He's a man child. Let's hope he vomits after being such a glutton eating the cake. Give him 2 options. 1 he bucks up and starts being a supportive partner and contributes towards household duties to make life easier and become a responsible parent or 2 , if nothing changes, bin him off

How dud he survive begore you came along?
You want a partner who will be competent to cook for you and child at very least.
Consider options.
Do not cook for him.
What will happen?
Are you renting or mortgage?
Hope you have a good income and mat pay because you will be alone in carrying everything

Is he incapable of putting cereal in a bowl and pouring milk on top? Of course not. He wanted to eat your treat.

LTB now and consider a termination. Or your absolute best look out is 18 + years of parenting alone ahead. He won't help. Worse still would be you'll be running round after him too.

Never mind leaving him I think I'd actually kill him.

Hello.'D'P 👋