Child protection plan - Devastated

[SENSummer]

Posting for traffic as SEN board is quiet.

We have a high needs AUADHD non verbal DS. Specialist school, learning disabilities and challenging behaviour. Lovely but hard work and disregulates in school holidays. His home carer recently quit due to his violence and not feeling safe which they put in writing and I shared with SS.

I gave up work (both professionals) and became DS carer (also has a younger sibling) and have absolutely advocated for him every step of the way.
We kept asking for additional support and being denied at panel. DS is almost 6 but huge, 9-10 clothes. We reached breaking point this Christmas. We felt we couldn’t keep him or ourselves safe in the home and were really at the end of our tether. I rang social services and recounted how uncomfortable we were with the events of Christmas, said we wanted to consider section 20 or residential school if they wouldn’t help us further. They had a meeting this week and put both kids on child protection plans. Said DS is staying with us as we are what’s best for him.

Im just completely devastated. Barely stopped crying for 24 hours.

There were quite a few inaccuracies told in the meeting that compiled made us look really negative. There’s also things like DS having a safety gate over his room which everyone (including SS and OT) has known about all along and never raised issue with but now it’s a massive issue.
I can evidence most of these things but I’m terrified to even try. They have all clearly decided we are now the problem. Apparently the police who were in the meeting (never had police involvement in our lives) heard all of this and were very unhappy.

No one has ever had an issue with our parenting if anything I’ve always been commended for my perseverance with DS. I honestly wish I’d never said anything, we just really needed help.

You were there at the meeting were you? 🙄

If the family is 'unhappy' because their child's needs are so extreme the parents can't cope, then yes, social services should be helping to meet those needs.

I realise I may sound like a tin foil-hat wearer here, but CSC DO use the other children in the household as leverage to emotionally blackmail exhausted and broken parents into keeping violent and abusive children and young people in the family home. Ask me how I know.

I remember your other post. Don’t let your SW’s loaded words scare you. Let them call the meetings, invite the police whatever, you can evidence you’ve been engaging in services and crying out for help and getting nowhere. All you’ve done is try and keep yourself, your DD and DS safe.

Try and see this as a positive, hopefully this will bring the change your family so desperately need.

They are not on a child protection plan if you’ve not been invited to a meeting. They may have had a (professionals only) strategy meeting which concluded that they will recommend a child protection plan, but until an initial child protection conference (which you would be invited to) there’s no plan as yet. Attend the initial child protection conference and have your say there.

I think this is part of the problem. OP can clearly read and write. She shouldn’t be misunderstanding anything. It should be in writing, in plain English. OP can you ask them for all notes about your children’s case (I’m not sure if this is part of FOI or not)

@princessleah1’s advice is very good advice op

Sound of hollow laughter here. Re: your point 3. My child is blind (due to her in utero exposure to opiates and alcohol), is multiply neurodivergent and has a rare autoimmune disease that is treated with weekly chemotherapy. My child was ‘not disabled enough’ to be allocated a CWD SW. Even though the LA’s own policies and procedures stipulated that children with a significant sensory impairment ie being blind would automatically qualify. The CWD team didn’t even bother to respond to emails or phone calls from my CPP SWs. They were shocked. I was not. There just is not the ‘help’ that people posting here seem to think exists.

Ask for a specialist in applied behaviour analysis (ABA) to work with you in the home. NICE guidelines on autism and challenging behaviour says you are entitled to a functional behaviour assessment but this isn’t usually available or offered. You need a bcba degree level trained and accredited person - not a psych or someone who’s been on a short course. uk-sba.org/register-as-a-behaviour-analyst/find-a-behaviour-analyst/

My son had lots of behaviour challenges when young and we managed to resolve these and he’s a very content young adult. Do not believe the anti-ABA nonsense you read online it’s been really positive for us, not abusive at all, and is the reason my son didn’t end up in residential. We had ABA on the EHCP as education provision including home support / parent training and education 45-48 weeks a year so he didn’t regress. They will have to fund private provision as local services don’t generally train their staff in ABA or positive behaviour support and don’t offer full time packages of support.

ABA staff won’t just work on the behaviour they will also teach skills - toileting, communication etc There is hope things can improve if you find the right people to help you.

We had an apt booked with a solicitor who has been recommended multiple times on here at the end of the month. But we don’t think this is going to be soon enough given what is happening now. We’ve got an earlier apt now (this week) with one of their colleagues but we don’t know their reputation, it’s not a name ever been mentioned to us. We are hoping since they work for the same company they will be of a similar calibre.

Getting quick legal advice seems a challenge any suggestions welcome?

I’m sorry that has been your experience @ThePieceHall but it does vary wildly between LAs so it’s still good advice to pursue the CWD team

That's a load of rubbish. Even adults who are incontinent can live in the family home. This is just a disguised dig at OP not having her DC toilet trained when you managed to train your autistic child. You should know, being a parent of an autistic child, that Autism isn't the cause of every childhood development delay and that it is separate to learning difficulties/disabilities?

Op I wouldn’t panic with urgent legal advice - by all means get advice, but it’s not going to change whether the initial child protection conference recommends (or not) a child protection plans. I would wait to get advice you’re confident of rather than rushing through advice. In the event (I’m not saying this will ever happen) the LA ever intended to take legal action (ie take steps beyond child protection planning) you would be entitled to free legal representation.

I would heartily recommend Damien Dobson of JWP Solicitors. Damien will make time to speak to you if it is urgent.

Give them a call, they may be able to see you sooner given things have changed.

To be fair, no one is saying that the OP needs legal representation at the ICPC as it has rightly been pointed out that no lawyer would be able to speak at the conference. However, those of us here with personal and family experience ie not SW experience are suggesting that a decent s.20 lawyer will be important if the OP wants to exercise her legal right under the Children Act to have her DS accommodated by the state. Also, I believe that the OP’s husband is a doctor so any CP involvement could have far reaching consequences for his career.

I'm so sorry. I have an autistic child and this is literally my worst nightmare. I just want to say, I believe you and countless SEN parents will too. Obviously you need a lawyer. But please get yourself to a support group locally if you can too for emotional support. I am fortunate not to have ever been reported to SS but in the support group I am part of, I am by far and away the minority. It's frequently as a form of 'attacking defence' by the LA when parents ask for help or go to tribunal or similar. It's an appalling abuse of power. But I have known in happen over and over to parents I have known well enough to know if there was really serious neglect. I no longer assume SS have got this sort of thing right - especially with disabled children. Chris Coghlan MP is also collecting evidence about this kind of institutional abuse of families.

Yes they try emotional blackmail, and every other trick they can, to avoid paying for the child with needs.
But did they actually take the other child / children into care?

There is no legal time limit on a s.20. There is case law on this.

Just to reiterate what PPs have said, your children are not on a CP plan yet. They’ve had a strategic discussion (which parents are not invited to) and it was agreed at that meeting that a section 47 enquiry is needed.

The next step would be a CP conference and you will be invited to attend and absolutely should. The social worker and other professionals also need to share their reports with you before the conference.

A decision will be made there about whether a CP plan is needed and what the category is.

Sometimes CP is appropriate even if the child is not being mistreated or neglected. And there is the risk of the harm caused to their sibling also.

If you have contacted social care and said you wish to place your child in care then it’s not a big shock that this has led to this.

I know it feels scary but this could be helpful.

Something similar happened in our family about ten years ago. I will not go into specific details, except to say it involved both our sons, who have additional needs and complex mental health problems and who were mid teenagers at the time; it involved my husband who also has very complex needs and was looking after the boys whilst I went out to work; it involved a family crisis when both boys were unable to attend school, husband could not cope, I took leave from work to try to manage the situation and could not.

The Conference was terrible, but necessary. Both boys were put on CPPs on the grounds of emotional abuse. I could not understand why 'emotional abuse' was stated as the primary concern, but it was explained that this category was a sort of 'catch all' when situations were complex. We were told that the CPPs would result in more support for the boys or in support being prioritised. To some extent this did happen.

My main advice would be to try to keep calm. Go through reports and politely correct any inaccuracies. Try to see this as a way of gaining the support that your family needs.

My main concern, retrospectively, however, is that the CPPs resulted in a heavy focus being put on parenting and parental functioning. In our case, this was somewhat relevant (husband could not cope; I could not manage the dynamics and the challenges e.g. having to lock every possible instrument that could be uses to self harm away, being 100% vigilant with respect to the behaviour and interactions between two teenage boys; dealing with a son experiencing psychosis etc and trying to cope with the added complexities of very little formal or informal support). Yet, there was such a need for both the boys to be occupied or supported outside the home, for the youngest to be helped back into education, for the eldest to receive appropriate mental health support, and for my husband to also receive help for his needs. The focus on parental capacity seemed to outweigh the very complex array of support needed by individual family members

The Family Rights Group were really helpful with respect to advice and support. They helped me understand what was happening.

In retrospect, I would say, yes, abuse did take place, and yes, definitely my sons were at risk. However, our needs as a family were very complex, and had not been addressed or recognised until a crisis situation occurred and disclosure was made.

You have my utmost sympathy OP.

Put in writing your objections to the misunderstandings and incorrect things said, providing evidence where possible. Ask for the letters to be kept with the documentation of the meeting, and ask SS and police to confirm in writing that this will be done. Send copies to everyone you can think of (e.g. SS, school, carers if applicable, police, MP).

Having said that, I’m not an expert but perhaps this whole episode will help you and your family get the support you need.

This seems to be pretty standard nowadays especially as there's no money in CIN. You'll likely get a bit more support and some more coordination. Residential is a last resort and of course costs a fortune so they use CP.

What on earth do you mean by there's no money in CIN?

A child protection plan is very unlikely to offer respite care. Respite care is provided by the children with disabilities team which has a very high threshold criteria. The current social worker will be from the assessment or family help team. They don't have access to respite.

To be honest, it was bad enough that SS threatened to remove my other child. No, they actually didn’t go through with it. Possibly because I had excellent legal representation. This situation should never be allowed to happen. It is systemic abuse and parent blaming and shaming that is rife among parents of adopted and SEN/disabled children.