Child protection plan - Devastated

[SENSummer]

Posting for traffic as SEN board is quiet.

We have a high needs AUADHD non verbal DS. Specialist school, learning disabilities and challenging behaviour. Lovely but hard work and disregulates in school holidays. His home carer recently quit due to his violence and not feeling safe which they put in writing and I shared with SS.

I gave up work (both professionals) and became DS carer (also has a younger sibling) and have absolutely advocated for him every step of the way.
We kept asking for additional support and being denied at panel. DS is almost 6 but huge, 9-10 clothes. We reached breaking point this Christmas. We felt we couldn’t keep him or ourselves safe in the home and were really at the end of our tether. I rang social services and recounted how uncomfortable we were with the events of Christmas, said we wanted to consider section 20 or residential school if they wouldn’t help us further. They had a meeting this week and put both kids on child protection plans. Said DS is staying with us as we are what’s best for him.

Im just completely devastated. Barely stopped crying for 24 hours.

There were quite a few inaccuracies told in the meeting that compiled made us look really negative. There’s also things like DS having a safety gate over his room which everyone (including SS and OT) has known about all along and never raised issue with but now it’s a massive issue.
I can evidence most of these things but I’m terrified to even try. They have all clearly decided we are now the problem. Apparently the police who were in the meeting (never had police involvement in our lives) heard all of this and were very unhappy.

No one has ever had an issue with our parenting if anything I’ve always been commended for my perseverance with DS. I honestly wish I’d never said anything, we just really needed help.

Don't let them twist the truth.
It exhausting and shouldn't have to be done but you have to be careful and make sure everything is as it is.
I feel for you, good luck x

What triggered the strat OP?

Tbh I thought they might actually up our support package and offer some respite that we’d been begging for all along.

I didn’t expect it to turn this harshly on us as parents being the fault or to include our other child.

I don't have advice to offer but want to send love and support. I remember your initial post and know the additional stress a child with SEN can place on a marriage and family life.. I'm sorry things have escalated this way.

Why are they including your other child? If your ds is so violent professionals are unable to support him, is your other child at risk of his violence?

You said on your other thread that your OH is quite toxic to you, this means to me the children are living within a DA environment.

High stressors households, with parents arguing or being victim of one or each other, high needs child who is extremely violent and vulnerable, vulnerability of the children living in this environment.

But there must have been a trigger incident, has something happened at school, has there been an allegation by one of the children?

You've definitely misunderstood. A strategy meeting has been held and the professionals have agreed to proceed to an initial child protection conference. You will receive an invite to attend. Also attended will be social worker, other professionals (they can also send reports in lieu of attending) You will be able to see any reports. Contact the social worker on Monday and if you haven't seen the minutes from the strategy meeting then request to see them (even if you have to make a subject access request if the social worker tries to say you're not allowed)
An Initial Child Protection Conference has to be fully minuted and can be corrected if you feel it doesn't reflect the truth. At the conference, it's chaired and the chair is normally very fair and will explain everything to you. If this isn't the only social worker involved with your son (for example if he has a specific social worker because of his disabilities) then they should also attend

While I am sorry that you are in this situation, I think you are very much assuming that a child protection plan is only for children who social services or police are certain are at serious risk at home. They are not. They are for any child who is known to have a significant risk factor in their lives. Both your child with high needs has needs which it is difficult to meet and your child without SEND is living in an environment which has the potential to be a difficult place to live. Therefore both are in need of a plan. However the plan doesn't need to actually involve any more than a few check ins from Social Services if all is going ok.

They won't take your NT ds......this scare tactic is as old as time, because SS dont want to fund adequate support. . Don't fall for it. Lawyer up if you can.

The strategy meeting is around the whole family, not just one member. You surely can see how your DSs challenges will be having an impact on your other Dc can’t you? You already think your DH wants to leave because of him. As you were not at the strategy meeting and have not yet been sent details of the conference, you cannot know what was said and who they are apportioning ‘blame’ to.
The whole point of placing a child on a CP register - if that’s the outcome when it goes to conference - is to ensure any support that’s available is put into place as a matter of urgency. It’s not to remove a child unnecessarily.

What it is you are terrified of more now? You were at your tether with your son and your whole lives and you rang the authorities....read your own post

You have misunderstood….sw must contact immeadiate ly after a strategy…..to inform you of the outcome….sounds like the outcome was that the threshold for child protection has been met …..there HAS to now follow an initial CP conference….where a final decision will be made….you will be invited to this ….and have the opportunity to meet the chair of this meeting ( the IRO) before the meeting …..you will have an opportunity to read all professionals pre conference reports…..school will attend….and police

Only wish there was more to help you. So sorry for all the family. You will be in many hearts among the Mumsnet readers.

Sorry for your struggles.

Keep doing what you know works best.

Just to reiterate this, the strategy meeting will have said the threshold for a Section 47 enquiry was met, what that means is that at the time professionals judged that there was significant risk of immediate harm.
Now is the assesment period, and then an initial child protection conference……. It’s a long process, however it sounds like you are at breaking point - if asking for Section 20? Please see it as help that is needed, not a criticism of your parenting

Just to clarify so OP doesnt get more confused, its not a long process at the moment, the ICPC needs to be held within 15 days of the initial strat, which means it happens very very quickly, there isnt always time to gather very very indepth analysis or information

Otherwise OP will think the conference has been sprung on her if she doesnt understand the timescales.

If the children are made subject to a plan, the next conference is within 3 months.

I'm unsure how helpful this is going to be ... I'm friends with someone because both our children (now adults) have the same condition. Known him for years. He and his wife were pressing hard for additional support. And then one day he was arrested for child abuse / neglect. It was all absolute bullshit. He was released after a night in the cells once the police realised that it was a set up. He then went on to successfully take social services to tribunal, get his kid the help he needed (residential) and he sued the arse off his local service providers. Kiddo, even though now an adult, is still residential at one of those places that costs a few hundred thousand a year. In other words, it was really tough (but not for very long) and then it got massively better.

Did she also misunderstand the SW's comment that "the police wanted to push neglect"? That's ahead of an investigation? I would want that in writing, OP.

At the strat the police have to log the incident or the allegation or the category on their systems. That happens at the point of the strat being requested.

The police don’t need to ‘push’ for anything. If they feel that the circumstances laid out to them are neglectful then they can record a crime of neglect. They don’t necessarily have to take action on this though if Children’s Services are taking positive action.

Clarify the police position with the social worker but I expect that they are just leaving the issues with the social worker to resolve.

You will have a voice at the ICPC. Other agencies will be at that too. Make sure you are clear in what you want to say. Articulate your points and remain calm.

Yes its not likely to be a joint investigation

Even when actual severe neglect takes place, the police rarely arrest or follow through from a criminal perspective.

Although OP hasnt said what the trigger incident is, if she knows.

If you go on the Family Rights Group website they have a whole series of articles/leaflets talking you through processes/timelines/acronyms/ legalities. You might find it useful.
Good luck

The problem with a strategy meeting is that it's to discuss whether a case meets the threshold for an initial child protection conference. As you can imagine, lots of cases do, lots don't. The social worker has to contact the parents immediately afterwards. The police have to log on their system what threshold has been met because in severe cases it could trigger removal (not in this case) The social worker has made a very clumsy attempt to tell the parents what the outcome was. In your shoes op I would ring and ask to speak to the social workers manager

The police don’t push for anything at a strategy…they have the same say as every other professional in that they agree that CP threshold has been met….or they don’t……CP always has a category….neglect is one of the categories

Get a lawyer, who is experienced in this type of situation, to represent you. Expensive probably but will be cheaper in the long run.