Child protection plan - Devastated

[SENSummer]

Posting for traffic as SEN board is quiet.

We have a high needs AUADHD non verbal DS. Specialist school, learning disabilities and challenging behaviour. Lovely but hard work and disregulates in school holidays. His home carer recently quit due to his violence and not feeling safe which they put in writing and I shared with SS.

I gave up work (both professionals) and became DS carer (also has a younger sibling) and have absolutely advocated for him every step of the way.
We kept asking for additional support and being denied at panel. DS is almost 6 but huge, 9-10 clothes. We reached breaking point this Christmas. We felt we couldn’t keep him or ourselves safe in the home and were really at the end of our tether. I rang social services and recounted how uncomfortable we were with the events of Christmas, said we wanted to consider section 20 or residential school if they wouldn’t help us further. They had a meeting this week and put both kids on child protection plans. Said DS is staying with us as we are what’s best for him.

Im just completely devastated. Barely stopped crying for 24 hours.

There were quite a few inaccuracies told in the meeting that compiled made us look really negative. There’s also things like DS having a safety gate over his room which everyone (including SS and OT) has known about all along and never raised issue with but now it’s a massive issue.
I can evidence most of these things but I’m terrified to even try. They have all clearly decided we are now the problem. Apparently the police who were in the meeting (never had police involvement in our lives) heard all of this and were very unhappy.

No one has ever had an issue with our parenting if anything I’ve always been commended for my perseverance with DS. I honestly wish I’d never said anything, we just really needed help.

If there is a section 47 or a child protection conference the medical information will be provided by the medical person - whether that's a GP or health visitor or school nurse. They don't just hand over records and say here you go.

This is a real and huge problem in society now. When my DH was a ND child in the 70s and 80s he was parented by a mixture of violence and neglect which of course we don't allow or condone now and parents are struggling more than ever. But what people need to understand is that social services have neither the money nor the expertise to support families with ND kids with extreme behaviour issues which are not as a result of the parenting they receive. We have so many referrals for families such as the OP where the child is violent, school refusing, self harming etc and if I could design a perfect service to meet their needs with an unlimited budget it would be amazing but it doesn't exist and a social worker doing an assessment is largely wasting their time and the family's time. It's stressful and intrusive and rarely leads to any positive change for the family.

What do you need legal advice for at this stage?

At least you are honest! It’s all a pointless but utterly humiliating waste of time. For no positive result. My AD1 has now aged out of children’s social care, after they kicked the can down the road for a few years. Every time I take my AD2 to the GP now, literal red flags pop up on the screen to indicate CP involvement. My AD2 and I have been the victims of CPVA for years. Still, the shame is on us.

Let's face it, it is cheaper and easier to remove and accommodate the other child than the child with SN.

So yes, if you can blame the parents you can follow the easier and cheaper option. Although in most cases parents will destroy themselves to prevent that happening, so it's a useful threat to silence them.

People who are advocating for the child to go into care - is that really what people think is best for children? A child who has been aggressive will not be going into a foster family they will be going into a residential children's home. It probably won't be anywhere near their home because there is a shortage meaning they will get to see their parents every couple of weeks at the most. They will be cared for by staff, not parental figures. They will be living with other children with similar behavioural issues. People struggle with the response that 'your child is better at home with you' but it's literally true almost all the time. Additionally, residential care costs £2000 a week at a bare minimum- that is the cheapest available and if you need any additional support like therapy or one to one staff you're looking at £5k a week - do you think that public funds should be spent this way for every family that is struggling? I wish the money was available to provide care placements for every child who needs one but it's not.

I don’t think there’s any point anyone commenting OP if you’re not telling us everything. Any advice is basically useless if it’s based on half of the story (something about divorce) All I can say is that if you felt so desperate to call SS that this maybe isn’t the end of the world, it feels like it is but actually in order to get any help something like this had to happen. It’s a bit like initiating a divorce, things get way worse in order for your life to improve.

It's beyond frustrating as a social worker/manager especially when we have schools and parents asking/demanding help and there is just nothing to offer. We know we are wasting your time! Social workers do a bit of training on ND but they still know less than most parents of ND children. CAMHS are beyond unfit for purpose and we have no leverage with them - getting a child protection plan doesn't make any difference. Autism specialist services for families cost money which the LA can't spend because it doesn't have. Even assessments for ND are years in the getting and there is nothing social services can do there either. Funding for families of ND children needs to be a priority but which government is going to make it so?

Social care will already be involved if a child has complex disabilities under Child in Need if you need support eg respite hours. Unfortunately there is very little support as LAs have no money. You could be the best parents in the world but if you have a child with very complex needs but if you mention S20 there's a high chance you'll end up on CP. If you're seen as not coping it's seen as a real risk. Any disability you (usually mothers) have will be seen as evidence of lack of capacity.

If your relationship with your partner isn't great due to the stress that goes with parenting a child with very complex needs this will be viewed as a risk. The smallest of things suddenly become huge issues. If you have any anxiety or depression or neurodivergence that will be seen as a risk.

Ultimately there is no money, residential placements cost something like £200k, £300k/year as many are under private ownership. There's very little money in budgets for carers.

There is plenty of case law that makes it clear that local authorities cannot use long term section 20 as an alternative to care proceedings. It's not in parents' best interests to do so either.

Coram are good for next step legal advice https://childlawadvice.org.uk.

during covid, my then 13yo autistic dd, anorexic, attempted a dramatic suicide. Police called to the scene and CP social workers became involved. I am a professional in the area but more involved with education than social care. Dd and us bad been completely abandoned by CAMHS despite having multiple autistic children. The SW were horrible to me and I just saw red and set them all straight, with evidence, that we had all been abandoned. There was talk of a CP Plan and eventually the grounds were for professional neglect. It wasn’t until CAMHS became properly involved (and I had to continue fighting for that), that it was stepped down to a CIN plan and my other children were not involved in that. Strangely, the head of the cp SW team, became my greatest advocate, encouraging me to be vocal to motivate for more support.

in terms of residential placement, this is something that you can initiate yourself assuming your child has an EHCP. You can call an emergency annual review seeming to name a residential placement. This is, of course, not an easy thing but you can contact your local SENDIASS for support if you are in England. I am not personally aware of residential settings for such a young person and in my borough you would probably have a carer come in the in morning to get ready for school, school, and some sort of respite care. I really see social care packages for severely disabled people being stripped back continually at the moment. I would say SENDIASS isn’t neccesarily the right place in terms of social care but you should be able to find an advocate and your LA should have a list of independent advocates that they commission.

As a pp mentioned, Luke Clements is a great resource.

It CAN be the best thing. For the child and the rest of the family. The cost of placements is not the OP’s problem. Nor is it mine. It is the fault of successive governments who allowed Qatari and Dubai-backed hedge funds to muscle into the children’s social care sector. Some children simply cannot live in a family setting. If you are a CSC professional, you will know this. What price the cost of a life? My AD1 was extremely violent for many years. I didn’t want to die at her hands as that would have left my AD2 an orphan.

Yes, people don't realise how dire the situation is. When people post on here that they'll get support from social care don't know what it's like. There is literally no money. CAMHS are on their knees too and like you say even CP doesn't help with that.

As a parent you are expected to live with violence from your child that would be called domestic abuse if it was from a partner.

Let's face it, services for domestic abuse are pretty minimal, but at least you wouldn't get posters on MN blaming you for not being able to put up with the abuse any longer.

You can't just dismiss the costs of placements as if it's irrelevant or someone else's problem. I'm very well aware that some children need to be in care placements but that doesn't mean all who ask and that doesn't mean money can be found for any child whose parents are struggling. Budgets are finite and obviously it's the fault of central government/s but that doesn't change the fact that a) children's care placements are almost all privatised and cost insane amounts and b) local authorities don't have the money to pay for them. They aren't teresa May with her magic money tree.

This is not uncommon OP. They do this to scare you and stop you asking for help. Adoptive parents have suffered this for years and now it is common in your situation. It is a disgrace.

This.

You shouldn't have to live in fear of your child.

I know parents who have suffered long term physical injuries, and even more whose mental health has been severely affected. Parents who are loving, capable, committed, but their child's needs are so extreme they need specialist provision, which is almost non existent.

A friend is a lawyer who acts for parents when the LA is taking proceedings. She has several clients who fully support the LA in applying for a Deprivation of Liberty order to place their child in an unregistered placement, because there's nothing else available and no.other way of preventing their child's involvement in county lines criminal activity or sexual exploitation.

If this is news to you then be grateful you have a safe and sheltered life.

Unfortunately, I don't think this kind of 'support' is available in many circumstances. If you were deemed to be coping well and everyone was happy and their needs were met then there would be no grounds for increased interventions much less removal of DC from your care. There needs to be significant risks and concerns for them to do this. As you explained, you reached out and disclosed that you can't keep DC and sibling safe which is a significant risk that will now be explored through a series of formal meetings and an action plan will be agreed to manage these risks. The good news is that they might arrange more intervention but it might not be the supportive break that you hoped for and will probably feel quite intrusive at times.

OP you’re putting all your effort into finding legal support which isn’t really necessary. I’ve been in so many ICPC’s where lawyers haven’t said a word. They’re useless in these situations. There have been lots of knowledgeable people on here who have explained the process to you. The process you are about to go through is positive! This is going to help you get the help you need. As other posters have said get all your evidence sorted. Get your ducks in a row. Make sure you read the reports from the professionals before the ICPC. This is going to be your opportunity to get your voices heard for once. Don’t be scared. Be glad it’s got to this.

Do you have personal experience of this?

Because the experience of many, many parents is the opposite. They will be blamed and threatened. https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c0kdv1x83gko

I think what some people don't realise when social services talk about there not being any money, is that because certain types of services haven't been funded for years, by successive governments, they often don't exist to buy in even if a local authority wants to. Our LA has got better at agreeing that certain services are needed - respite care, whole family therapy, specialist services for child to parent abuse. There isn't anything locally we can commission for any of these. There's been attempts to recruit and train specialist respite carers but the take up is really low. Our (council owned) residential for children for short breaks ends up accommodating children on care orders as there is no where for them to go, so the children who are at home lose out. Child to parent abuse is only recently recognised and there are few services who specialise, we can buy in online training but a days course isn't going to make that much impact on how well social workers can support families. No one in our area can take on the complexity of the family therapy we've tried to seek, unless it's online only which has much lower engagement from families, especially children (no criticism, it doesn't have the same impact)
We really do need proper, long term funding for services that can support families to avoid them reaching this crisis point. In the long term it would save a lot of money (someone mentioned a care placement being 2k a week, it's much higher now - standard residential is 4.5k, therapeutic starting from 8k, and specialist 10-16k)

You can’t be Ona CP without an ICPC
You will be under section 47 enquiry.
Legal representation is not necessary at this stage.
Get all of your evidence other of request for help before the ICPC to present to the chair before conference as there will be an opportunity for this.
Child protection doesn’t always mean the children are at risk from parents, but also at risk for themselves and each other.

NOBODY is suggesting that the OP engages a lawyer now to attend any putative ICPC. What those of us here with actual parental, lived experience are recommending is that the OP and her husband, a GP, contact a s.20 specialist if they want to exercise their legal right under the Children Act to have their violent DS accommodated by the state. Also, because any CP involvement could have an effect on the husband’s ability to work and so provide for his family.

I worked with the BBC on this for six months!

@ThePieceHall there were a few other posters who have suggested the OP get legal representation for the ICPC, I think that's what the poster was referring to.