Child protection plan - Devastated

[SENSummer]

Posting for traffic as SEN board is quiet.

We have a high needs AUADHD non verbal DS. Specialist school, learning disabilities and challenging behaviour. Lovely but hard work and disregulates in school holidays. His home carer recently quit due to his violence and not feeling safe which they put in writing and I shared with SS.

I gave up work (both professionals) and became DS carer (also has a younger sibling) and have absolutely advocated for him every step of the way.
We kept asking for additional support and being denied at panel. DS is almost 6 but huge, 9-10 clothes. We reached breaking point this Christmas. We felt we couldn’t keep him or ourselves safe in the home and were really at the end of our tether. I rang social services and recounted how uncomfortable we were with the events of Christmas, said we wanted to consider section 20 or residential school if they wouldn’t help us further. They had a meeting this week and put both kids on child protection plans. Said DS is staying with us as we are what’s best for him.

Im just completely devastated. Barely stopped crying for 24 hours.

There were quite a few inaccuracies told in the meeting that compiled made us look really negative. There’s also things like DS having a safety gate over his room which everyone (including SS and OT) has known about all along and never raised issue with but now it’s a massive issue.
I can evidence most of these things but I’m terrified to even try. They have all clearly decided we are now the problem. Apparently the police who were in the meeting (never had police involvement in our lives) heard all of this and were very unhappy.

No one has ever had an issue with our parenting if anything I’ve always been commended for my perseverance with DS. I honestly wish I’d never said anything, we just really needed help.

Hi
Sorry misspelt.
Safeguarder.
As I said ; a person appointed through the court Child Protection System.
They are independent ( it's a professional person , that knows the CP system well),usually a person who has been part of the children's panel or a reporter to the courts.
They act in an independent, unbiased capacity.
They speak with everyone involved in the child's case.
They also speak with the child.
For example, both parents( individually), grandparents, any other care givers , ounger and older siblings ( even children).
School GP, SW, Police if they ve been involved.All discussions are confidential.
They write a report for the children's panel to consider.The report is divulged at the panel hearing only under strict confidentiality rules.
It s a bit like " evidence"..They do not and cannot make a judgement or recommendation.
But any panel or court will take the report findings very seriously.

I am a parent to a child with severe autism (diagnosed level 3 as well as GDD).

The paediatrician also suspects ADHD - which I agree with.

There isn’t any help. You have to navigate it alone. He has one half day a week of play therapy only during school time. That’s it. I can’t work.

Our child was diagnosed very young. Autism symptoms were present when he was a baby. When he was 12 months old our child health nurse told us “there is something wrong with him”.

It is for this reason we have not had another child.

Noone will understand what we go through as parents.

Thankfully my child is showing some improvements. However, it is a constant struggle.

I think you understand that you absolutely need to protect your younger child from your child with autism.

I’ve had to protect my autistic child from other autistic children at his therapy appointments. Some of them are so violent - to themselves and to my child. My child has been physically attacked multiple times. There was a child that ran full force into a window multiple times. He would literally bounce off the special glass and then repeat that behaviour over and over again. This kid was eventually medicated.

When I was younger I went to a school that was strong on the “inclusion” of autistic teenagers. So much so that they would put these teenagers into normal classes. These teenagers were sometimes aggressive and violent. Some of them were also huge. They were even bigger than the teachers, they had limited intellectual capacity and raging hormones - so it was no wonder that they lashed out screaming and throwing chairs. It was hell.

My only recommendation is to get your son medicated (sedated) and work with Police to issue a protection order protecting you and your younger child from your autistic son. By-pass social services completely.

You and your younger son aren’t safe in your home.

There is not much point speaking with a severely autistic, non-verbal child.

Or were you referencing the younger child who is being abused by his severely autistic older sibling?

I have never heard of such a person and I've attended high hundreds of child protection conferences. The child protection process is not within the family court arena. I don't know where in the UK a children's panel sits in either court or child protection planning but it's not a widely used system. I'm not sure your advice is applicable to the OP.

Work with police to issue a protection order? What order are you suggesting?

Are you in England?

Ive never heard of such a thing over nearly 30 years in practice.

I wonder if the poster referencing panels may be in Scotland, they have a complete different system compared to England and Wales family court. I don't think that's applicable to the OP. It sounds like the 'safeguarder' role is similar to what a Cafcass children's guardian would do, albeit in eng and wales they're only involved in court proceedings, not at child protection or child in need, which is where the OP and their family are.

I m not saying he / she would .
I was merely answering the question asked; "what is a safeguarder".
Yes, in this case a safeguarder may or may not speak with a younger sibling.

Yes,this is the system in Scotland.
Not aware of system in England .

I m in Scotland.
This system ( safeguarder) works very well in situations where there is disagreement or conflict regarding the child's care.
They do not make decisions or offer opinions , they write an unbiased report stating all the relevant information required for the individuals making the decisions regarding the child's care.

I've looked it up. A safeguarder is the equivalent to a guardian ad litem in England. They aren't involved in child protection conferences which is what OP was referring to, only in family court. Even if OP is in Scotland (I don't think she has said?) she isn't in family court so it's not relevant to her situation.

Yes and lol at the 'they dont give an opinion, only an unbiased report'

Don’t be mean.

I used my own vocabulary off the top of my head when explaining what a safeguarder does in Scotland.
I think I remembered the relevant details .

The OP requested advice.
Some contributors on the post are trying to offer advice without the ongoing criticism and sarcasm .MN is meant to be a supportive forum.
Too many keyboard warriors on here, desperate to jump on a post .
No one is trying to be clever here.
Lay person offering best advice only .
Thanks

Were just at the beginning of a Kinship assessment our GS had been through a Child protection investigation thats why he was put in our care he has severe Autism and ADHD he doesn't stop he is really aggressive at times but we go to bed and its like ground hog day but it was us or Care but we haven't a clue about Kinship

She is not in court
A child protection conference is nothing to do with court

There is a fostering board, you need to start a thread on that board and you'll get some good advice

@ShawnaMacallister thank you for your reply I tried and someone was quite blunt so I gave in I was only looking for advice and was shot down

@ShawnaMacallister , I never implied anyone was going to court.
I suggested OP consider a request for appointment of a safeguarder for her familys case as it appears complex.
In Scotland the role works well in the system if required. It is a widely used system in Scotland .
A safegairder may be appointed by a child protection hearing panel , they don t necessarily require to be appointed by a court .

@ToYouFromMe I think the confusion is that what you know in Scotland as child protection, includes an extra level essentially, which is the panel system, or children's hearings. In Scotland that system is used instead of family court.

In Eng and Wales, we also use the term child protection, but that system only goes so far, and the next step above it is family court. The most comparable role to an independent safeguarder in Eng & Wales is a Cafcass guardian, but that role here is only applicable if the case has gone to family court. There's no option for the OP to request something like that at child in need, or child protection here.

@Mariocatgran not sure from your post exactly what it is you're looking for, but this site gives a good overview if you're in England or Wales
https://frg.org.uk/get-help-and-advice/who/kinship-carers/

There are also networks of peer support groups for kinship carers that your social worker should be able to help you find, since as much as you can learn about policy, law etc, hearing from others who have been through the same thing is invaluable.

@ Verytall.Yes, I can see now the systems are quite different then; I wasn t aware.
Not a professional here,just giving what I thought was good advice.
Your explanation is appreciated.Thankyou.

@Verytallthank you ill have a look in in Scotland and we had a Safeguarder she was really nice i was so worried about her coming but shes there to make sure where the best place is for the child

Sorry @Mariocatgran I didn't realise you were in Scotland too! Law is a little different there though a lot of the overall principles are the same, try this site instead
https://kinship.scot