To wish DS had pursued a more lucrative branch of law

[Calypos]

My DS is 28, I'm well aware he is an adult, he can do what he wishes and his happiness is paramount. He did his undergrad in International Relations and Politics and his since gone down the law path and is 2 years PQE. He opted for civil liberties law, his justification was he felt no passion elsewhere. He is incredibly intelligent.
The issue I have is for the work he does I feel he is underpaid especially when you compare to other solicitors in London or those in finance/consultancy. He could have taken a different path but chose not to. His long term gf is similar, incredibly intelligent but works in a relatively low paying career as she is passion about it.
They do have some fallback in that she inherited from her grandparents and was able to buy a flat without a mortgage, but I do often wonder how they will be able to afford a family home, raising children etc. I am aware that he still has room to grow and could make a decent living, but I can't help but look at my friends ho have children in consultancy or corporate law and think he is wasting his talents in a low paid role (comparatively). I understand there is probably a higher degree of job satisfaction but I feel panic for him.

AIBU to wish he had pursued something more lucrative and worry that the path he has chosen might burn him in the future?

Exactly. Corporate law is a load of empty self important (but really irrelevant in the grand scheme of things) total shit.

@NerrSnerrit’s his girlfriend that has the mortgage free property

Fair point, although he can save what he would have paid rent/ mortgage so is still in a very good position. Better than most.

At 5, John Lennon was asked- what do you want to be in life?
He said “Happy”.
The teacher said “you don’t understand the question”
JL said “No, you don’t understand life”.

Is he happy does he feel short-changed if the answer is no. Then be proud of his values. Money doesn't drive everyone

If he is in human rights work in London he will be better paid than friends who have become teachers, doctors, nurses, fire officers, musicians, physiotherapist, speech therapists etc etc etc. He will also live a life where he is both doing worth while work AND enjoying it. Dont sit around comparing him unfavourable to corporate lawyers and bankers, be proud of him. Oh and plenty of people in his line of work have children when they're ready. Panicking is really more about you.

A lovely post from Elektra1. So true!

Do they earn enough to live on? If they do, stop worrying. I’ve raised 2 children on under £30k a year, it wasn’t easy, but we haven’t needed food banks and have managed some holidays, just not every year. A huge income isn’t vital for happiness.

I'm sure your son could be earning a much better salary if he'd specialised in a different type of law. However, what would his work to home life ratio be? How stressed would he feel? Law, can be very cut-throat, highly stressful, long hours and little home life. Yes, they're being paid a good salary, but at what cost?? Perhaps, your son and his girlfriend, don't want that kind of life??

AAB and a career in law? I think he's doing OK.

You are being unreasonable working in civil liberties law is a calling and he obviously feels he is doing a worthwhile role. Whilst money is important enjoying your work and feeling you are doing a worthwhile role is essential we are in work a very long time.

Your dreams are not theirs. How wonderful that they have vocations not just careers. You should be proud.

Wasting his talents in a low paid job he feels passionately about? You’re the one who has a problem. Your son believes some things are more important than money. Obviously you don't. Maybe he's worried about you.

Newly qualified solicitors in London are earning £150-185k in the big firms and American firms. Mega bucks right? Brilliant you would think right? What you don't see is the fact that they given menus to pick breakfast, lunch and dinner. Why? Because they are not expected to be away from their desk. They are working easily 16 hour days in the corporate world particularly where there are international deals involved and they need to work across timezones. They are expected to be switched on 24/7. Burnout is a real thing. Alcohol and substance abuse is not an exception, it's prevalent with the stress to make sure they can make billable hours targets. And it comes with the lifestyle too, nice clothes, flash car and apartment so it's not like you are thinking well go do it for a couple of years then do something else and then you can buy your home wherever else in cash. These jobs come with high level stress. If your son is making enough money to do the things he wants to do, has a work life balance that works for him and has a job that he enjoys and feels passionate about this is a mega win. Better that your son has what you perceive to be a low paid career that he loves and has a chance at changing the world with than a heart attack at 45 from the stress of working in a high powered environment that he hates.

He's doing good work. We need more people as the country is turning into a anti democratic cess pool.

If you were the OP I’d say YABU for thinking that important branches of law get paid more! But otherwise I agree.

I just want to make the point, not so much to you but to the world at large, that pretty much all those grim things that you have listed as the downside of the big bucks, sound exactly the same as life at the criminal bar, which I did for 17 years, pulling in about 35k in a good year. In London.

I agree that the OP would do well to remember that her son could be miserable in a higher paid role. But we shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that many people are miserable in lower paid roles as well.

I've no idea if any variety of law is especially lucrative for most solicitors/lawyers tbh. It's like anything though, experience and talent costs more I would think?

I really hope I never have to find out for myself!

People change jobs nowadays and he might want to do just that when he feels the passion for his children?

Until he needs it, there is no reason for him to do it if he doesn’t want to.

Not having to pay rent or a mortgage would have been / would be life-changing for me and DP. Blimey, that’s a massive leg up - your DS and his GF can afford to pursue their interesting careers!

City lawyer here - as soon as I could, I stepped back to a low stress, 9-5 professional support job. I “only” make around £125k FTE. Absolutely worth it to me, especially now I have DC. The long unpredictable hours and the stress were not for me - hated it! On the upside, I was able to build my net worth - many people work brutal hours for much lower pay.

Your DS is doing fine!

Another one

you stay wherever you have to.

genius young man

He and his girlfriend are grown up. Leave them to do what makes them happy. Life isn't all about money

This non-issue is literally none of your business.