To wish DS had pursued a more lucrative branch of law

[Calypos]

My DS is 28, I'm well aware he is an adult, he can do what he wishes and his happiness is paramount. He did his undergrad in International Relations and Politics and his since gone down the law path and is 2 years PQE. He opted for civil liberties law, his justification was he felt no passion elsewhere. He is incredibly intelligent.
The issue I have is for the work he does I feel he is underpaid especially when you compare to other solicitors in London or those in finance/consultancy. He could have taken a different path but chose not to. His long term gf is similar, incredibly intelligent but works in a relatively low paying career as she is passion about it.
They do have some fallback in that she inherited from her grandparents and was able to buy a flat without a mortgage, but I do often wonder how they will be able to afford a family home, raising children etc. I am aware that he still has room to grow and could make a decent living, but I can't help but look at my friends ho have children in consultancy or corporate law and think he is wasting his talents in a low paid role (comparatively). I understand there is probably a higher degree of job satisfaction but I feel panic for him.

AIBU to wish he had pursued something more lucrative and worry that the path he has chosen might burn him in the future?

He's 28 years old and he has made his choice for himself and his life. If he's highly intelligent and wants to earn a lot of money, he'll find a way to make that happen. But it doesn't sound like that's his priority. Having lived through my 30s with a partner in a City firm, I can assure you it's pretty miserable.

People on minimum wage have good lives they enjoy, and children they love who thrive; I really don't think a high income is as necessary to that as you and some others seem to be saying. (And your son's partner , also a qualified and employed professional as he is, owns a flat mortgage free: compared to most they are in fact pretty bloody well off!)

If as a parent I end up with a child who has attained what your son has attained educationally and who is the sort of person who values justice over riches and job satisfaction over status and who commits to a challenging career because they feel the work is meaningful and important I will be so, so proud. I would never shut up about him probably.

Celebrate your lovely son, op, if more people were like him I really think this would be a better world

He has a job. A well paid professional one, even if it's not a high flying corporate one, and one where he helps people.

Do you know how hard people just 5 or so years younger than him have it?

He is not a reflection of you, he's his own person and can do what suits his life.

This 👆

He will be gaining amazing experience, will have promotion opportunities and lots of places he could work with more lucrative salaries if he wants them (off top of my head - the Bar, Civil Service, CPS, International Organisations).

Lots of people burn out of corporate type jobs, and very few make the mega bucks as partners.

I know a magic circle lawyer who earns very good money as an Associate but looks utterly worn out. From a Facebook stalk - In the photos from eight years ago they look so attractive. Today, they look like they need a holiday and a role where they could exercise a couple of times a week.

I have a relatively low paying job that I am passionate about and I am very happy 😊

Wow, I have a 24 year old who is probably one of the most intelligent people I know who dropped out of Uni in 2nd year. I say dropped out, more like imploded, I flew out to see him when he didnt come home for the summer and had stopped responding to messages. I didnt know if he was dead or alive at that point.
He has struggled to find his way since then and worked in bars although not always been able to even hold down those jobs.
Completing a degree and working in law I could only dream of, Ist world problems indeed.

Whatever they're earning, millions of people raise kids on a lot less. (Do they want kids? Have you asked?)

I started out in an extremely well paid area of law and left for a much lower paid area but one that for me is much more fulfilling. It's about doing what's meaningful for you. For some people money is the meaning and that's absolutely fine. But for others it isn't.

Could I have gone on more holidays and paid my mortgage off by now (early 40s), yes. Would I have regretted how I'd chosen to spend the majority of my working life. Absolutely.

Harsh. I don't see anything in the OP about bragging, but a lot about being concerned that her DC is able to afford a decent lifestyle.

OP, if they are struggling then I would say that they will quickly realise that money is more important to them than a more interesting line of work, and be flexible and enterprising enough to change. I wonder how much your own income and lifestyle is clouding your judgement, though.

As someone who works in one of those more lucrative areas of law and has had a nervous breakdown as a result I would say you should be pleased they have chosen careers they care about and are passionate about regardless of the salary.

How much does he earn?

Law can be very dry and the thing that makes it worthwhile is caring about what you do. Some people have to do work they find meaningful, some care more about the status and the money it provides. Civil liberties and human rights is a really valuable area.

You should be happy that your son and his parter are happy with the route they have chosen. Their choices are actually none of your business unless they ask for your opinion. Be proud of your son and his partners ethics. My DD has been approached by a large pharma more than once. She will not entertain them because they produce a cancer drug cheaply and it cost a huge amount to buy, meaning many people who need it can’t access it. We fully support her moral stance.

Agreed. The people I know who started off in corporate law all got bitten and got out. They're now a self employed photographer, a gardener and a forest school teacher. They're all much worse off financially but have happiness, satisfaction and peace of mind.

Oh OP. Money isn't everything.

Absolutely this! Lucrative law equals misery and no work life balance for many people for a long time!

Mortgage free in London with a job he loves that is intellectually stimulating ?

Get me my tiny violin
.why on earth would this worry you id be unbelievably proud of either of my children take a path like this and are academic enough to achieve it

One of my children hates learning and the other is autistic and i cant even hope for more than a few gcses. Honestly you are describing a dream career path to me.

He has a lot going for him. Surely the pay isn’t that low if it’s a professional job? 28 is still young and he’s very well qualified. If he wants he can earn more money.

If his gf owns a flat, they will have a huge deposit to buy somewhere. They are in a much better position than many young people. Don’t compare him to corporate lawyers.

You are so wrong. Read "Deep Work" (or listen to one of the many podcasts on life satisfaction). Mortgage free and in a career they care about and which gives them satisfaction is pretty much THE secret to happiness and job and life satisfaction. They are winning. You do sound a bit like you just want bragging rights with your friends rather than actually caring about what is best for your son.

They could move further out and commute. The country's nice and he'd get a bigger property. And I admire him for doing something with integrity.

It’s a bit sad that you don’t appreciate the fact that he and his girlfriend are happy.
What do you do for work?

As long as he earns enough to do what he wants in life and is happy.
we advised our DC to think about the kind of life they want to live and a job they will
enjoy that will allow them
to lead that life

If they own a flat outright without a mortgage in London they are already more financially secure than the vast majority of people, and can afford to pursue a career they find fulfilling and rewarding rather than chasing the maximum income

No he ended up at Nottingham as he pissed around a little in his last year of sixth form and got AAB despited being predicted A*AA.