To wish DS had pursued a more lucrative branch of law

[Calypos]

My DS is 28, I'm well aware he is an adult, he can do what he wishes and his happiness is paramount. He did his undergrad in International Relations and Politics and his since gone down the law path and is 2 years PQE. He opted for civil liberties law, his justification was he felt no passion elsewhere. He is incredibly intelligent.
The issue I have is for the work he does I feel he is underpaid especially when you compare to other solicitors in London or those in finance/consultancy. He could have taken a different path but chose not to. His long term gf is similar, incredibly intelligent but works in a relatively low paying career as she is passion about it.
They do have some fallback in that she inherited from her grandparents and was able to buy a flat without a mortgage, but I do often wonder how they will be able to afford a family home, raising children etc. I am aware that he still has room to grow and could make a decent living, but I can't help but look at my friends ho have children in consultancy or corporate law and think he is wasting his talents in a low paid role (comparatively). I understand there is probably a higher degree of job satisfaction but I feel panic for him.

AIBU to wish he had pursued something more lucrative and worry that the path he has chosen might burn him in the future?

I wouldn’t worry too much. I used to do criminal and family law but got fed up of not having any money and ended up moving to pension law which paid a lot better! My friend did same but moved to regulation and is now v v senior in an EU regulator. But neither of us regret the first hard years when we followed our passion! It’s fairly easy to move in law once you have some experience.

Nottingham is a highly respected law school and is field of law is a highly competitive one it sounds like he has done well and I don't really understand your sneery tone

He clearly must have worked pretty hard and I don't see why we have to expect all our teenagers to press their nose to the grindstone the whole time

Careers like this, after some in the profession, can lead to some great side hustles!

Your underpaid comment makes no sense. He’s paid for he does in his job, what a finance person is paid is irrelevant as that’s not his job.

Really? you missed this bit then:

I can't help but look at my friends who have children in consultancy or corporate law and think he is wasting his talents in a low paid role

The OP is clearly dissapointed that she can’t brag to her friends about his achievements.

I am an environmental scientist - my parents were appalled that I pursued my passion because they couldn’t see that if I was happy I was likely to be successful. It was very far out of their professional circle and I think they thought I’d be forever stuck in a field doing surveys. I now do a very niche well paid policy role now which I love and definitely had no idea existed when I qualified. There are all sorts of jobs out there you would never imagine exist. Be glad he’s happy and leave him to it. I’ve told my kids to pursue what they love and as a result one of my kids is a professional musician. It’s not a life I would chose for myself (I hate late nights) but she’s happy and the opportunities she has had to see the world have been astonishing.

Why are you still concerned with his sixth form “pissing about” despite his very successful chosen career? With respect, get a hobby. He’s nearly bloody 30!

The world is changing rapidly. AI will have a significant impact and some branches of law will be heavily impacted. So will consultancy. His area of law may be one that still has jobs in the future.

Its also good that your son is doing work that he enjoys. He could be earning more money in another but he could also burn out and drop out of the profession completely.

OP both my adult DC were high achievers at school. Head boy, UK athlete etc. My other DC has a 167 IQ. Neither want to be spending their life at work.
I paid for private school and i get it can grate when you think is this ROI?
I posted up thread about my stellar career, CEO, big money (but you live up to your salary ) but it was toxic.
I've been unwell so I've retired myself. Its f*cking marvellous.
I wanted the big opportunities for my DC that i didnt have, so I do understand but you know good people are far and few between. They are both professionals so they have choices. Be happy and proud of him. He probably won't stuff you in a home if he has heart!

Still a good university. I only asked because sometimes Oxbridge opens doors and makes it easier for people to change tack and make fresh starts if they reconsider. Don't worry. You don't know what will happen, and many manage on lower incomes. My DS2 is a high earner but it would be nice to see him getting more satisfaction from his job. Meanwhile DS1 has faced redundancy. The world of work's very different now, and jobs aren't so secure, so your DS wouldn't necessarily have been guaranteed stability even had he chosen a lucrative path. As mothers we never stop being concerned about our children but your DS is in a better place than most. Best of luck to him.

Meh, parents will always worry about their offspring, no matter how old they are, or what job they have. My son has a graduate job lined up in the kind of organisation that pays very well, and while I'm very happy for him that it means he should be financially fairly comfortable at least for a few years, I also know that the organisation has its critics, and it's quite cut throat with job security not certain from one year to the next. Who's to say he won't be out of a job within a couple of years?

Honestly, OP, there's alway something to "panic" about. All you can hope for is that your adult child is happy, can support themselves in whatever job they choose and has people around them who love them. If you're there to help them out if it all goes tits up, then they're winning at life, seriously.

I know the answer to why OP still cares about this. Because it’s such a coup to be able to say to other parents ‘my son has gone up to x college to read such and such’. Never mind that Nottingham offers a vastly better student experience!
I am slightly disgusted by this thread, I have to be honest. My parents tried to use me as a tool for social flexing, just because I happened to be academically able. I wasn’t having it and told them to get a fucking life.

I think most would agree that main publicly funded sectors of law are underpaid.

OP, I presume you are a high earner in a lucrative profession since you feel so strongly about it. If so you can help him out with a house deposit surely? If not, why not? What do you do for a living?

Seems like OP isn’t going to respond to most of the points being made. Just rage bait maybe. Ah well.

If he wants more money he should look at ESG and Business and Human Rights. These are both hot areas for corporates and might be a way for him to practice in an area he enjoys in a more lucrative way.

But if he is happy where he is then leave him be.

Omg

I can’t tell you how hard it is to make a full time career in my sector, how competitive, how long and anti social the hours, how very low the pay given the work, the talent / aptitude needed etc, how few the perks.

I worked hard to build my career, have never claimed benefits or been out of work, I have loved my job, managed on low pay, low pension, but my Dc had a great childhood despite the lack of lawyer salary.

Had my Mum sought advice on her disappointment on any aspect of my career or lifestyle I would be very disappointed with her. For her lack of understanding of my values, my priorities and her own materialistic status based thinking.

And… think of Helena Kennedy.

my and DH’s parents were both delighted we chose corporate law (I earned more than my parents combined by the time I was 24). Both sets of parents then became less delighted that we no longer had time to have dinner with them weekly, cancelled various family functions, backed out of holidays all due to work. 20 years on dh can’t visit DF in hospital as much as he’d like as he’s running a huge deal and team. Corporate law firms are brutal - if he steps off this deal it may be all the partnership need to vote him off.

be careful what you wish for. Our parents probably wish we worked for the government legal service right now.

OP I did everything “right”, probably what you would have wanted your son to do. I didn’t piss about at school, I got top A levels, went to Cambridge and got a top first. I wanted to be an academic but I became a lawyer because I’d grown up in a single parent household on benefits and never wanted that life for my own kids. I got a job in a top law firm and have been slogging it out ever since and let me tell you - it is no life. Your son is lucky that he was able to follow his dreams. He is winning at life.

None of your business. You had your chance to do as you wished with your life, allow him the same opportunity in peace and without your judgement.

Who are the “most” you speak of?
Average U.K. salary is about 36k. If he’s above that, he’s doing well.

Would they? I'd say that the other areas are overpaid. Anyway sounds like he is doing very well for himself and you should widen your bubble if you can't see that.

I hope you do something significant yourself OP. Otherwise this really looks like a classic case of trying to live through your kids. He’s an adult.

Btw I am sure he is absolutely aware of your view, and probably has been for years

Nothing to stop him taking his transferable skill to something more lucrative later. Good on him.