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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Need handhold and urgent advice

158 replies

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 09/01/2026 07:53

I think I may be putting this is AIBU when I meant Chat. Sorry, all. I’ll try to keep it very short. I have cellulitis, and already had life-limiting illness. My DH is having a mental health breakdown, partially brought on by the stress of caring for me (he says no, but it’s obvious). I finally got him on the phone to the GP so he has treatment, thank God, and they were just wonderful with him. I’m on first-line oral antibiotics for cellulitis (flucloxacillin) but got up this morning at 7 to take my pill and noticed I have swelling, but NOT an open sore, under my eye. Here are the issues:

  1. How long should I wait to see if the swelling under my eye goes down or becomes a sore? (Before this, the doctor said to give the antibiotic until Friday to work; sores take up to 12 hours to develop for me).
  2. My husband is currently on heavy medication for a few days, to deal with what’s going on. He’s normally my carer. I would call my PILs but they’re leaving for Thailand today on a long-awaited trip, and BIL is house sitting their cat. The only relative I had is my mum and she’s 3000 miles away and at work. I have a friend who can come, but she can only get a flight on Monday. Should I just tell her now to come? Her coming will REALLY upset my husband as he has high anxiety, but if I get hospitalized, wtf are we going to do???

I swear I’m normally “smarter” than this but I feel just paralyzed by stress and worry and feeling so unwell. And I keep thinking I’m going to die, which is either my own anxiety or someone did say it could be sepsis, which I had in November.

I’m just having a huge wobble, I don’t know what to do about anything, and I don’t have a lot of friends to ask, and none local or with experience of this.

OP posts:
FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 12/01/2026 19:45

I honestly don’t know if this is an embarrassing update or not. I still have “mild” cellulitis (it really hurts, whoever said that; I guess it’s the swelling that hurts more than the actual spot that ulcerated - it feels like my skin is stretched?) BUT no sepsis - apparently, most of my problem was lack of steroids. I have Addison’s but not much experience managing it (it’s fairly recently acquired and usually is a “background” disease because my life-limiting condition is considered more serious); I did ask the GP (on Thursday? Friday? I can’t remember) if I should be doubling steroids while on the antibiotics and they said no.

Today, a new registrar/doctor came on, saw I have medication-acquired Addison’s, and ordered them to give me double steroids immediately. Within about 2 hours, the “I’m going to die” feeling went away completely, but I still feel so weak and shaky. But this is more like just being really sick; like worst than the worst flu I’ve ever had, but also a bit different. Since my infection markers have gone down, I can hopefully go home very soon. I just need to take 3x the steroids while I’m on antibiotics.

Which is GREAT news, because DH’s therapy assessment has been moved to tomorrow. He and I spoke to our GP this morning, and they’ve given him a few more days of calming medication, so he can get me home from the hospital and go to his therapy assessment tomorrow. My friend is here and she’s helping us out and I’m so, so, so grateful. I’ll never be able to repay her. Also, I’m sorry for over sharing and being dramatic - I really feel a bit embarrassed but I’ve never felt like that before, ever, even when I’ve been previously hospitalised. And I’m not exactly new to being sick. I know it can feel awful, but I’d just never felt like this. And I’ve had a horrible flu; it’s not like that.

I just wanted to say, for anyone reading this, if you ever have this sensation, you’ll know it: you feel like you’ll never be warm again, your jaw locks up, your chest hurts, your heart races, and you think something VERY wrong is happening. You haven’t been thinking you were that sick, but suddenly you’re convinced that you’re going to die. This is a very real symptom and the doctor said it’s more common in women (I’m too sick to look this up; he definitely believed it). If this ever happens to you like it did to me, do NOT wait like I did. Call 999, please. You’re absolutely worth it and you’re not “stealing” anyone else’s place in the hospital. We all deserve to live.

And please, just ignore any typos. I still feel so fucking sick.

OP posts:
Alltheyellowbirds · 12/01/2026 19:47

Oh I am SO PLEASED to read all this. Have been thinking of you.

MrsMitford3 · 12/01/2026 19:48

Such wonderful news @FFSToEverythingSince2020

So happy to hear!

MrsLizzieDarcy · 12/01/2026 19:53

Glad you're on the upward, OP.

I was really unwell a few years ago, and the day before, I had to stop the car when I was driving home. I literally felt this horrific feeling of doom come over me - and it was crushing. I hadn't felt anything like it, ever, and it was terrifying. The next day, I was hit with chest pain and was treated for a suspected heart attack - thankfully it wasn't but took months of tests for diagnosis. How I felt for those few moments will never leave me. GP said it's more common in women.

MurkyMo · 12/01/2026 19:58

Well done OP, so glad you're feeling a little better.

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 12/01/2026 20:03

MrsLizzieDarcy · 12/01/2026 19:53

Glad you're on the upward, OP.

I was really unwell a few years ago, and the day before, I had to stop the car when I was driving home. I literally felt this horrific feeling of doom come over me - and it was crushing. I hadn't felt anything like it, ever, and it was terrifying. The next day, I was hit with chest pain and was treated for a suspected heart attack - thankfully it wasn't but took months of tests for diagnosis. How I felt for those few moments will never leave me. GP said it's more common in women.

Hey, I just wanted to thank you so much for sharing this. It has felt really odd, and difficult to explain to people. I think I’m not doing great at explaining things right now. I think you explained that feeling really, really well, and yes! It was exactly like that. They want me to go… this is embarrassing, but I can’t remember. Another specialist. I have it in my bag, I think.

OP posts:
jessycake · 12/01/2026 20:12

It’s not an embarrassing update , Addisons is not a background thing , and when you are ill you often have to have extra medication .A lot of Dr’s don’t have much experience with Addison's and really understand it .

Ineffable23 · 12/01/2026 20:13

I'm so glad you are feeling a bit better now OP, and delighted it wasn't sepsis. When a doctor spots something like that and then can come up with something that helps you so fast it's almost like magic isn't it.

Stigsmother · 12/01/2026 20:16

Glad things are a little better op. I know it's easy for me to say, but please look after yourself now, you are still very unwell

Seawolves · 12/01/2026 20:17

I am so glad to hear your update. My son had medically induced Addison's, it's a tricky condition to get to grips with.

scotsmumofteens · 12/01/2026 20:27

Absolutely not an embarrassing update at all! I’m glad things are working out for both you and your husband, sending lots of well wishes your way xxx

Littleredstone · 12/01/2026 20:27

Probably just about every mum on here has felt this with Thier first child but ..... I am not ready.

Had a little melt today because my baby is due next week and it has brought all sorts of issues for the forefront.

I have a dog which I have been trying to get my ex to take back because of the pregnancy since September but they are moving into a new home and the sellers are dragging their feet.

My husband is training to be a teacher and I've been trying to give him as much time as he needs to study but he is worried because of paternity he might not get enough hours for the course.

I started my maternity leave a week earlier and I was hoping to get lots of stuff done in the house but I just find myself watching TV and sleeping.

Throughout the pregnancy I have never really had an appetite but it's completely gone now so I'm struggling to eat or the want to eat because I don't feel hungry but I know this is the most vital time.

I just needed to rant a little on here because I don't have friends I can talk to and our families are divided due to religion.

Along with no sleeping very well due to hip pain during the night I'm not running at 100% and feeling a bit sorry for myself.

Ineffable23 · 12/01/2026 20:38

Littleredstone · 12/01/2026 20:27

Probably just about every mum on here has felt this with Thier first child but ..... I am not ready.

Had a little melt today because my baby is due next week and it has brought all sorts of issues for the forefront.

I have a dog which I have been trying to get my ex to take back because of the pregnancy since September but they are moving into a new home and the sellers are dragging their feet.

My husband is training to be a teacher and I've been trying to give him as much time as he needs to study but he is worried because of paternity he might not get enough hours for the course.

I started my maternity leave a week earlier and I was hoping to get lots of stuff done in the house but I just find myself watching TV and sleeping.

Throughout the pregnancy I have never really had an appetite but it's completely gone now so I'm struggling to eat or the want to eat because I don't feel hungry but I know this is the most vital time.

I just needed to rant a little on here because I don't have friends I can talk to and our families are divided due to religion.

Along with no sleeping very well due to hip pain during the night I'm not running at 100% and feeling a bit sorry for myself.

Hey @Littleredstone - sorry to hear you are struggling. I am not sure if you've realised but you've posted as a reply to a different thread. You might find more people can give you the help you're looking for if you post a separate thread yourself.

If you go here:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat

You can post a new thread on chat or there are other sub forums that might suit you e.g.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy

Chat | Mumsnet

Join one of our most popular boards. Chat is the place to, well chat. Muse, debate, share ideas or simply find out what everyone else is having for tea.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 12/01/2026 21:18

Thank you so much for sharing your story and symptoms. I’m so glad you’re feeling a bit better and I really hope your DH is ok. How amazing to have a lovely friend to come and help too.

CrowMate · 12/01/2026 21:32

Thank you for updating, I’ve been thinking of you all day. So glad to read your positive update. Sending lots of good vibes your way.

PattiPatty · 12/01/2026 21:40

Absolutely no need to feel embarrassed OP. You are clearly very unwell at the best of times with a sick DH and suffering terrifying symptoms. I'm so pleased you are improving.

NewAgeNewMe · 12/01/2026 21:47

Absolutely no reason to be embarrassed! Just glad you are feeling much better

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 12/01/2026 21:51

I am so glad you are feeling better, OP.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 12/01/2026 21:52

Oh gosh, that is wonderful news! I’m so pleased that an ‘on the ball’ doctor was able to identify the problem and get it resolved so quickly!

I can only imagine how terrifying it has been for you. I’m so pleased, now.

Terfedout · 12/01/2026 22:00

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 12/01/2026 19:45

I honestly don’t know if this is an embarrassing update or not. I still have “mild” cellulitis (it really hurts, whoever said that; I guess it’s the swelling that hurts more than the actual spot that ulcerated - it feels like my skin is stretched?) BUT no sepsis - apparently, most of my problem was lack of steroids. I have Addison’s but not much experience managing it (it’s fairly recently acquired and usually is a “background” disease because my life-limiting condition is considered more serious); I did ask the GP (on Thursday? Friday? I can’t remember) if I should be doubling steroids while on the antibiotics and they said no.

Today, a new registrar/doctor came on, saw I have medication-acquired Addison’s, and ordered them to give me double steroids immediately. Within about 2 hours, the “I’m going to die” feeling went away completely, but I still feel so weak and shaky. But this is more like just being really sick; like worst than the worst flu I’ve ever had, but also a bit different. Since my infection markers have gone down, I can hopefully go home very soon. I just need to take 3x the steroids while I’m on antibiotics.

Which is GREAT news, because DH’s therapy assessment has been moved to tomorrow. He and I spoke to our GP this morning, and they’ve given him a few more days of calming medication, so he can get me home from the hospital and go to his therapy assessment tomorrow. My friend is here and she’s helping us out and I’m so, so, so grateful. I’ll never be able to repay her. Also, I’m sorry for over sharing and being dramatic - I really feel a bit embarrassed but I’ve never felt like that before, ever, even when I’ve been previously hospitalised. And I’m not exactly new to being sick. I know it can feel awful, but I’d just never felt like this. And I’ve had a horrible flu; it’s not like that.

I just wanted to say, for anyone reading this, if you ever have this sensation, you’ll know it: you feel like you’ll never be warm again, your jaw locks up, your chest hurts, your heart races, and you think something VERY wrong is happening. You haven’t been thinking you were that sick, but suddenly you’re convinced that you’re going to die. This is a very real symptom and the doctor said it’s more common in women (I’m too sick to look this up; he definitely believed it). If this ever happens to you like it did to me, do NOT wait like I did. Call 999, please. You’re absolutely worth it and you’re not “stealing” anyone else’s place in the hospital. We all deserve to live.

And please, just ignore any typos. I still feel so fucking sick.

You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm very happy for you that you do not have sepsis. Look after yourself and hopefully you can go home soon x

Frolie · 12/01/2026 22:17

This is great news to read, Rest up now and hopefully you’ll sleep well tonight (as well as you can on a hospital ward!)

DuchessDandelion · 12/01/2026 23:46

So pleased to read your latest op ! Nothing to be embarrassed about, I hope you continue to feel better quickly!

QuayshhLawrain · 13/01/2026 01:37

Hi @FFSToEverythingSince2020 (aka EYLH), I've had a name change too, so you won't recognise me, but I've been on your threads for several years!

I'm so relieved to read you're improving, you've certainly had much more than your fair share of feeling shitty. I've beaten sepsis twice, and vividly recall the sense of impending doom; it was what forced the Dr to take me seriously. The first time, I was in a coma for a week, and I remember "waking", but only my mind was awake, not my body. I could hear people talking around me, machines beeping etc., so knew I was in hospital. The fact I couldn't move, or even open my eyes was scary, but I remember thinking "This is what people talk about when they say someone fought to stay alive". So that's what I did. I focused on staying calm (not easy!) and drawing in air (I'd started off with staph pneumonia, so it was tricky!)

I'm glad things seem to be coming together for you and your DH, I hope that your health improves so that you're able to enjoy the things you love, and that life offers you and DH some smooth seas (and beautiful moons!).

Wereongunoil · 13/01/2026 06:27

Addisons is definitely not a background thing.

I have primary Addisons rather than medical induced (secondary) Addisons

Have a look at the Addisons disease self help website. It will give you an the information you need to help manage your condition day to day.

Always double for any infection and make sure you have an extra supply of steroids for sick day dosing

JennyWrenSeven · 13/01/2026 06:35

@FFSToEverythingSince2020 that is such a relief. Nothing to be embarrassed about at all, can only imagine how unwell you must have been feeling. Pleased to know you’re on the right medication pathway now and hope you begin to feel much better very soon 💐

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