Need handhold and urgent advice

[FFSToEverythingSince2020]

I think I may be putting this is AIBU when I meant Chat. Sorry, all. I’ll try to keep it very short. I have cellulitis, and already had life-limiting illness. My DH is having a mental health breakdown, partially brought on by the stress of caring for me (he says no, but it’s obvious). I finally got him on the phone to the GP so he has treatment, thank God, and they were just wonderful with him. I’m on first-line oral antibiotics for cellulitis (flucloxacillin) but got up this morning at 7 to take my pill and noticed I have swelling, but NOT an open sore, under my eye. Here are the issues:

1. How long should I wait to see if the swelling under my eye goes down or becomes a sore? (Before this, the doctor said to give the antibiotic until Friday to work; sores take up to 12 hours to develop for me).
2. My husband is currently on heavy medication for a few days, to deal with what’s going on. He’s normally my carer. I would call my PILs but they’re leaving for Thailand today on a long-awaited trip, and BIL is house sitting their cat. The only relative I had is my mum and she’s 3000 miles away and at work. I have a friend who can come, but she can only get a flight on Monday. Should I just tell her now to come? Her coming will REALLY upset my husband as he has high anxiety, but if I get hospitalized, wtf are we going to do???

I swear I’m normally “smarter” than this but I feel just paralyzed by stress and worry and feeling so unwell. And I keep thinking I’m going to die, which is either my own anxiety or someone did say it could be sepsis, which I had in November.

I’m just having a huge wobble, I don’t know what to do about anything, and I don’t have a lot of friends to ask, and none local or with experience of this.

I have never dealt wifh anything so difficult in my life. Just a few days ago, my DH assured me that he wouldn’t hurt himself because he had me. I can’t go to hospital and leave him; I just can’t. I don’t know wtf I’m going to do. Wtf am I going to do. I know I’m spiraling but my left eye has started to weep. This is so fucked. I thought I was ready, but I’m not. Oh god, I don’t want this to be happening. Please, somebody, make it stop.

Could it be a cold sore? My DD gets them, underneath her eye. Then everything gets swollen. You'll have to ask your GP to swab it.

Before they diagnosed it as the cold sore virus I was told it was cellulitis...

@FFSToEverythingSince2020 you take it one step at a time and deal with issues as they occur, right now you're fire fighting but that doesn't mean it's all going to shit. Sending big hugs and strength your way 🫂

Just deal with the immediate issue in front of you and trust that things will be OK.

You need to get your BIL involved now. Yes he is cat sitting but that can be resolved with a few phone calls (by him). Your PIL would want him to prioritise you and your husband, as would he. Most cats are pretty independent anyway. You both need calm, practical and supportive help. I hope he can provide that. Sending supportive vibes.

@SmallandSpanish Yes, you’re absolutely right. I used to have anxiety, have been doing great for years, and have just had a bit of a wobble over this I think. I’ll calm down and send a message to BIL.

@reenon As great as a cold sore would be at this point, it’s definitely cellulitis. I was hoping it was just a staph infection that would be treated with antibiotic but no response, I’m now on 1g of fluxocpcillin (spelling?) 4x daily and it’s not responding. Started in my hand, looking like a scratch, then just spread.

I had cellulitis once, it's really scary and painful and its one of those infections that you can see spreading as your skin changes, so very sorry you are having to deal with this, OP. Have you made a plan when to call 111 if things get worse? I understand feeling that you can't leave your husband alone by going to hospital, but you deserve care, attention and observation, and if that needs to be in A & E, or an out of hours GP/urgent treetment clinic, then please go.You sound unbearably stressed, but remember that you are allowed to prioritise your life and health.Especially with a life-limiting condition.

Handhold from me. I’ve never had cellulitis but do get repeated infections as on immunosuppressants for RA. If you are like me, you’ll push yourself too far or wait it out. Don’t. Get a message to BIL and your PIL. X

How far away is your PiL's house? Could BiL come to yours and pop back to the cat/ask a neighbour to come in a couple of times a day? Not ideal perhaps but only over the weekend.

Also wondering whereabouts you are as someone local might be able to offer advice. There's an organisation called the Cinammon Trust who offer care for pets when owners are in hospital, maybe BiL could contact them?

Could BIL bring the cat with him?

@NewAgeNewMe I’m so sorry to hear that! I think the steroids I’m on could be acting as an immunosuppressant.

@Stigsmother @Delphiniumandlupins PIL’s house is about 4 hours drive away. I don’t know if BIL might be able to get a neighbor to watch the cat, or I suppose worst case scenario: BIL and Dcat on the road trip from hell.

I told a few friends that I was ensuring my advanced directive was in order and one of them said he “needs to speak to me one on one to process this.” I’m trying to be sensitive but I’m so fucking angry anyone would make a demand right now. Maybe anger will fuel the beginning of my recovery 😂

And no, I can’t sleep. My hand and my eye are both starting to ache. I have one more dose of antibiotics to see if there’s any sign of improvement at all, and if not, I’m calling 111. Someone said a few days ago that sepsis causes a sense of impending doom, and I’m wondering if that’s what I’m feeling, because I feel so ridiculously negative and emotional, like I’ll never come out of the hospital.

NOTE Please forgive typos. Using my good hand and text to speech

I am so sorry OP.
It sounds as if you need IV antibiotics.
You need medical intervention asap.
Cats are transportable. Could BIL bring cat and its stuff to your house?

This feels unmanageable to you because you're unwell and thats stressful, and you're understandably worried about your DH. But BIL can come, with cat if necessary, and he'll manage because it is a manageable situation. Maybe he could collect your DH and take him back with him while you're in hospital? Message him and see. But you have one job only - letting the medical professionals get you well!

I think this is a great idea that BIL comes and takes him back with him. You need to be in hospital from what you say, put the wheels in motion for that to happen. You staying at home will not help either you or your husband.
call for help now, if you need permission you have it. Look after yourself it will help both of you.

You need to get urgent medical advice. Everything else is secondary.

Ask your BIL to come now, with the cat.

OP l had cellulitis after a mastectomy and radiotherapy last year and my GP administered oral antibiotics with a warning to monitor for any worsening of symptoms or spread, which would be treated as urgent and require immediate IV antibiotics in hospital. Cellulitis can be very serious and can lead to sepsis unless treated promptly and appropriately so I think if more signs of infection are showing up since the antibiotic dose was increased, you would need to have a very low threshold for calling 999. So sorry this is happening to you.

Only just seen this update. OP you need to ring 999. This is an emergency.

Agree, call 999, you need medical help fast

Another one agreeing you need to call 999. When the paramedics arrive you can talk to them about your concerns about your husband’s mental health and see if they can help with him but your priority is to get yourself to hospital right now. Please don’t leave it until later. I’ve seen how ill you can get with cellulitis.

OP already has cellulitis, and any skin problem that develops now is a big red flag that it’s spreading. By the time GP gets the results of a swab, OP would already be very ill. It needs urgent attention now.

Get them to swab you for Pantone Valentin Leucocidin. It needs to be sent to Porton Down. This might be why the antibiotics aren't working fast enough. Sending hugs.

It sounds like you need urgent medical intervention. So sorry you and your H are facing such challenges - can only send a hug.

Have you called 999? I agree that you shouldn’t delay.

Thinking of you x

I hope you are getting medical treatment now @FFSToEverythingSince2020

I hope you are in hospital now OP and that you have called BIL to look after your husband so you have peace of mind about his wellbeing. If it was my brother who was depressed I would want to be there for him while you were being treated. I would make other arrangements for the cats.