Tired of always having a child with me

[itsallgonetomush]

I know it is a bit unreasonable.

Two kids, 5 and 2. I literally always have one or both. I get time to myself at work in theory but work is rushed and manic so not particularly enjoyable. And nursery is right near work. So I go from nursery drop off to work to pick up to home and on my days off and weekends / holidays obviously always have my children.

I was naive before I had them and thought it would be lovely because obviously my amazing parenting would mean they were a delight to be around not that they aren’t but they obviously are just normal kids and very hard work

I think I’m still run down after the stress fest that was the Christmas holidays. But does anyone else struggle with lack of time to yourself? Or have you adjusted better than me to motherhood?

Tired of always having a child with me’
’But does anyone else struggle with lack of time to yourself? Or have you adjusted better than me to motherhood?’

the op.

people respond to the question you asked with ‘no, I don’t struggle because I have plenty of time to myself because X’

and you say
‘it would be nice if people could stop lecturing me about everything I’m doing wrong’

maybe start a new thread in chat op ‘I’m really finding it difficult to not get time to myself. I do have a husband, who I really like, but I don’t/wont/cant leave him with both his children. I don’t want to change any of these things that are making me tired. Could people in the same situation - and only that - please respond in solidarity.’

You misunderstand me. Parenting a 2 and 5 yr old is very very hard. However trying to make it easier by dividing and conquering stops you spending the time gettng used to parenting 2. I have a 7 and 4 yr old. They have very different personalities and needs so I get it.

Exactly! She's very invested in her husband doing no wrong.

But that isn’t what I’ve said at all

I have said that DH isn’t around much during the week and I have said that I don’t want to leave him with both children unless I really have to because I prefer him not to do that to me 😂

I’ve also explained a few times it just isn’t a feeling that can be ‘solved’ by a couple of hours on a Saturday, it just isn’t, no one’s fault but it is how I honestly feel.

people have made some strange things up on this thread, and I don’t see the point of turning the thread into an argument or starting a new thread in chat, especially since you’d probably doggedly follow that one too.

Of course he can do wrong 😂

but I’m just being honest - I’m not going to feel any less tired and burnt out if I have three hours to myself on Saturday if I know I have to solo parent myself for three hours the next day. If that isn’t the answer you want I am sorry; it’s how I honestly feel.

I think your expectations may just be off. At that age getting hair done. Going for a wax, weren't monthly happenings yeah it's hard but if you are getting a break and have support you're maybe just not very realistic

I think it’s something that will resolve itself in time.

It does shock me that you can’t easily solo parent 2 kids for a handful of hours….!

I regularly do our 6 month, 2 yo and 5 yo solo most evenings and weekends (eg sometimes 3 kids for 48 hours) Husband has a week long work trip and I’ll just be solo for 7 days.

I think you need to put your big girl pants on a bit. How does a teacher struggle to look after her own 2 children without their father around to assist.

Also recently I had a Saturday afternoon where I wanted to be at home to watch tv and nap and he took all 3 kids to the park and then Nando’s for dinner.

We both give each other down time, this is how we survive!

I don’t want any answer op. I’m not the one who is upset because I don’t have any time to myself.

I think it might be best if we moved on @arethereanyleftatall as you do seem to want an argument and I really don’t.

@Tammygirl12 i do it all week. If weekends are meant to be a break then my break is to have one child for some of it. It is a bit exasperating that when I explain the solution people are pushing at me isn’t one I’m interested in I’m then told I’m pathetic and put my big girl pants on. I’ve taken both children on holiday solo twice, have been out for the day with them, gone on national trust trails and forest adventures and to castles and wildlife parks and outdoor activity places, I’m not a stranger to having them both. But that’s precisely when where I can have one to one time with them I badly prefer it: I don’t think that’s a crime,

It might be best to wrap things up there as like I say I’m sorry but I’m not interested in being told by MN I’m doing parenting all wrong and if I did it right a five year old and a two year old would be an absolute breeze.

Oh op I totally get you. Especially about the part leaving dh with both because you don’t want to do the same 😅
My solution is we hired a babysitter/ nanny when we just needed some time. They took the kids out because I also just wanted time in my home, by myself, to just relax in my own space.

That might be something I look into

@itsallgonetomush
I have twin boys and another boy three years older
I can PM you my details if you want to pop them in your will 😁😁

All
Offers offers gratefully accepted 💐

double posted by mistake. Weather constantly taking out our WiFi I was that keen to get that post sent 🤣🤣🤣

I total get it. I'm also a part time teacher and have a nearly 2 year old and a 5 year old. My DH also works long hours or away so the majority of childcare falls to me.
DH will take DC out for a couple of hours but I end up catching up with work so it doesn't quite feel like time to myself. No

Yes or tidying / cleaning … I hear you!

What’s your evening routine?

I have said that DH isn’t around much during the week and I have said that I don’t want to leave him with both children unless I really have to because I prefer him not to do that to me

He is doing that to you a lot anyway with work.

You are getting one to one time with the children going on solo holidays and what not, is he not desperate for one to one time also instead of you rushing back from your leg waxing?

Clearly not. DH needs to step up.

@HazelMember i’ve said a few times now I’m not finding it helpful. Can we move on, please?

OK sure. I genuinely hope things get better for you 💐

Be careful what you wish for.

Time goes by so quickly, and soon you’ll turn around and miss what were some wonderful moments, and a lot of them you’ll struggle to remember.

Your DH sounds like he’s already under a lot of work pressure. Could you put your little one in a nursery one day a week.

That's definitely not helpful. I look back fondly on cuddling my newborns but I still acutely remember the hard days too. Particularly the exhaustion. It's ok to love them and adore them and savour them and still admit its bloody hard. And it gets easier. Noone sems to want to admit to how it gets easier and they become much more interesting little humans and much more interactive with time.