Partner won’t give me a lift in the ice …

[inkyspells]

So during the night the snow has started to melt and it’s icy out there.
The main roads are clear but the paths are Ice.
Went out this morning and even with my boots on I’ve fallen over.
I get really anxious about falling over so that’s knocked my confidence.
My partner is a manager of a company 5 mins around the corner and I asked him could you drive me to the bus stop just so I can get to my dads and take out his dog and get him essentials (he’s 86 and I don’t want him falling over )
He said no he’s not doing that and I just need to get a grip and walk to the bus stop (about 10 mins but it’s thick of ice )
Bare in mind last night he was on his way home when his work friend text saying the bus hadn’t come so he immediately said “no bother mate il take you home “ 20 mins in opposite direction.
Aibu to be a bit sad he won’t even drive 5 mins to help me out.
Now before anyone comes at me,last year I slipped on the ice and broke my wrist so ever since then I’ve been scared…I have bought decent boots but still it’s a ice rink.

The bus drops me at my dads street and the patch of grass for the dog is literally across the road
I will just get a taxi home but it’s gonna be about £15 so I can’t afford to get two taxis

Buy some YakTrax. Like a tenner on Amazon and you won’t fall on ice again.

And consider what your ‘partner’ brings to your life.

Yes it seems very mean. It is hardly a long way out of his way. Falling on ice is horrible.

How is your relationship in general?

He’s a knob. I’m currently sitting in A&E with my DP who faceplanted on black ice this morning and has smashed his face up so badly he needed a head CT scan. It’s treacherous out there and the fact your DP won’t do you this favour speaks volumes about his respect for you. Have a stern word!

He isn't being much of a partner. Can he definitely fit it in, during the day? My DP wouldn't have been able to, but he would have taken me after work and sat with my parent while I did what needed doing. I now do what I can for his very elderly mum. It's what partners do.

Yikes. Hope he's much better soon!

Do you mean he's at work and you wanted him to leave work to drive you? I wouldn't do that to be honest. Do you drive?

Yes he is at work but he’s the boss and he’s in and out all day doing whatever he fancy’s.

Wow your H is a massive dickhead, I’m sorry! My Dad always put his friends before my Mum and it really hurt her. He would’ve given any of us a lift anywhere in any weather though.
Honestly, it doesn’t sound as if he likes you very much, let alone loves you! HE should be offering to go and check on your dad given that he is the one with a car. No, he’s not duty bound to and shouldn’t ‘have’ to, but that’s what a loving husband would do!

LTB and I genuinely don’t say that lightly. He sounds a total knob!

Did you point out his favour for his colleague in direct opposition to him refusing to take you to the bus stop?! What did he say?

Nailed it.

@Passingthrough123oh no I’m sorry to hear this,it’s so horrible outside

It’s not like I’m asking him to drive me all the way to
my dads,just the bus stop so I can jump on the bus.
I did but he just says “I was already out and couldn’t say no could I )

Very unkind! Is this normal behaviour?

I think the difference with the friend is that your partner had already finished his work day. If he's managing a company he can't necessarily just drop everything and leave work in the middle of the day to take you down the road.

I'm not sure how you're going to walk the dog anyway if you can't walk to the bus stop, so I'd leave it to be honest. If your dad really needs anything you can order him a grocery delivery via Uber eats/Just eat/Whoosh etc.

Ask DH to stop by your father's place and sort out the dog and a little bit of shopping in his lunch break.

Tell him you've just cracked your knee cap in a fall and the ER gave you crutches.

He’s not exactly supportive is he?

What kind of partner gives so little a shit about you that they won't do even a small thing to help you?

Take a closer look at him because I bet this won't be the only way he shows he doesnt give a shit.

Can you drive?

Get some path salt I have salted my front path, the lane next to the house and the patio.We don’t have any snow in my area of Scotland but yesterday the ice was pretty bad. DH went to mils and salted her steps and her path. You could do that for your dad, salt outside his door and a track across to the grass his dog goes to since it’s just across the road.

I’m not sure I’d expect my DH to leave work during the day to give me a lift somewhere. If it’s that icy, order your dad some essentials in a taxi and he can let the dog in the garden.

Absolutely this. Our postman was wearing them morning and DH went for a run at 7am. They grip the ice brilliantly. They're cheap, easy and work.

They’re such a cheap and effective solution. I can stride past all the penguin walkers with them on and they take seconds to put on and take off.

I went over this morning on the patio while trying to get the dog back in. I have a very sore wrist and behind. YANBU.

You didn’t make clear that your husband was in work and you were asking him to leave work to give you a lift. That changes things. And just because he is a manager doesn’t mean he can come and go as he pleases. Good managers lead by example and I can’t imagine that the CEO would be too happy if all the staff just nipped out for personal errands during working hours.

Did you have the same issue last year? Swear I read almost the exact same thing about the bus stop etc.

I’m guessing that your relationship is generally crap and he’s not a good partner…