Partner won’t give me a lift in the ice …

[inkyspells]

So during the night the snow has started to melt and it’s icy out there.
The main roads are clear but the paths are Ice.
Went out this morning and even with my boots on I’ve fallen over.
I get really anxious about falling over so that’s knocked my confidence.
My partner is a manager of a company 5 mins around the corner and I asked him could you drive me to the bus stop just so I can get to my dads and take out his dog and get him essentials (he’s 86 and I don’t want him falling over )
He said no he’s not doing that and I just need to get a grip and walk to the bus stop (about 10 mins but it’s thick of ice )
Bare in mind last night he was on his way home when his work friend text saying the bus hadn’t come so he immediately said “no bother mate il take you home “ 20 mins in opposite direction.
Aibu to be a bit sad he won’t even drive 5 mins to help me out.
Now before anyone comes at me,last year I slipped on the ice and broke my wrist so ever since then I’ve been scared…I have bought decent boots but still it’s a ice rink.

So you're asking him to drop what he's doing, drive home from work, drive you to the bus stop and then drive back to work again? I think that's unreasonable. If you'd asked him to do it at some point in the day when it was convenient/his lunch hour it would be less unreasonable.

Although if you're able to take out your dad's dog and get essentials, I'd also be wondering why you couldn't get yourself to the bus stop as well. You are as likely to slip running your dad's errands.

Just get some boots with tread and grip covers for the ice; it’s not safe for everyone to drive when it’s so icy either.

There are lunch breaks to use or words like "I need to help x she fell last year and broke her wrist, this ice has stranded her" it's not hard it's super basic

He's a miserable sod. Make sure you don't do anything for him, like cooking his dinner or washing his smelly pants.

I wouldn't be a bit sad. I'd be fucking angry.

I dont think it's reasonable to expect a partner to leave work - come home and pick you up to drop you somewhere.
But i do also have empathy with your fear of falling - as youv'e had a fall in the past that's also completely reasonable.
Are you in an area you could place an order via Deliveroo or similar to get your Dad some essentials?? Dog could probably manage without a walk for a day or two if he can get into your Dads garden to do his business.

He doesn't sound like a great boyfriend but not being able to afford £30 must be worrying.
Are you dependent on the man financially or for housing?

I wouldn't expect my husband to give me a lift when working 5 minutes away or even at home.

It might only be 5 minutes to work but then there is 5 minutes to get back and the dropping you off. All adds up. Fair enough it was before or after work you asked but not during the day.

That’s not something I’d ever call DH home from work for. Giving someone stranded a lift home while he’s already out is different.

The dog will just have to cope or your Dad will manage a few steps across his own road. What are the “essentials”, because unless it’s vital medication or food when there’s literally no other food in the house then it’s not essential. If it is essential get it delivered. Tell your Dad to stay home and you do the same.

And ensure in future your Dad has adequate emergency supplies in the house to be able to stay inside for a week or two if necessary.

I read that thread as well. It was something about going into town to return boots (as well as buying provisions for their father).

Roads are gritted especially bus routes, pavements aren't cleared

If it's thick ice, ice much rather be walking than driving-I hate driving in the ice or snow.

Order yourself some better boots, if you've fallen over in the ones you've got, they don't sound suitable for this weather.

Dump him.
He doesn’t care about you.
My partner & I lift each other all the time. It’s literally the lowest tier of favour you can do someone you care about.

I' would probably dump over this. Is this the way he usually treats you?

Bus routes have been gritted
Walk on the road to the bus stop

That literally depends on your circumstances.

The man is at work. “Please leave work to chauffeur me to the bus stop because I’m scared of falling over and my Dad’s dog needs a walk” is ridiculous.

Were you ready to go? Or expecting him to wait/come back for you? I can understand that it might not be practical for him. If you were leaving together it is ridiculous he didnt offer.

It’s also super basic to order a taxi?

He's the boss but you can't afford taxis?

I totally understand your bottle going when it's icy. My husband came to save me at the weekend when the snow fell and I was at work, as the drive home would have been arse sweating territory, but he was in the house, I wouldn't have expected him to leave work.

Shoe aids will help you feel a bit safer probably. It's crap when you get an injury and feel fear for ages afterwards.

Yeah then during the summer councils have the cheek to tweet about car use and the environment. But their actions or rather non actions when it snows speak louder than any words can and show that the car is King

If be angry, not sad. I'd always be making his life miserable for the foreseeable future.

So he was at work and you wanted him to leave work to take you to a bus stop? Have I read that right? If so then YABU.

Does dad need anything today, can it wait or be delivered. Does the dog need a walk or just the toilet, does dad have any outside space.

As a one off I think it's something that any loving partner would do if someone had had a fall and is nervous in the ice. For that reason I think he was very mean not to, since he seems from what you say to run his day exactly the way he wants to work wise anyway.

On the other hand if it's something he is called upon for regularly, then he is probably getting a bit fed up of it!

Does he respect you in other ways OP, and does he offer to help you out when needed (and you vice versa of course)? If he has a constant strop when asked, then you probably need to ask yourself some questions about what he brings to the table.

Yes, agreed. But OP clarified that:

• he’s the boss
• he can come and go as he pleases
• he gave a friend a lift just yesterday

So it doesn’t seem like flexibility is a problem when he wants to.