Partner won’t give me a lift in the ice …

[inkyspells]

So during the night the snow has started to melt and it’s icy out there.
The main roads are clear but the paths are Ice.
Went out this morning and even with my boots on I’ve fallen over.
I get really anxious about falling over so that’s knocked my confidence.
My partner is a manager of a company 5 mins around the corner and I asked him could you drive me to the bus stop just so I can get to my dads and take out his dog and get him essentials (he’s 86 and I don’t want him falling over )
He said no he’s not doing that and I just need to get a grip and walk to the bus stop (about 10 mins but it’s thick of ice )
Bare in mind last night he was on his way home when his work friend text saying the bus hadn’t come so he immediately said “no bother mate il take you home “ 20 mins in opposite direction.
Aibu to be a bit sad he won’t even drive 5 mins to help me out.
Now before anyone comes at me,last year I slipped on the ice and broke my wrist so ever since then I’ve been scared…I have bought decent boots but still it’s a ice rink.

Your partner uses your shared car to drive 5 minutes to work?

If so, why can't he leave the car with you some days? Or you could walk the 5 minutes to his work and pick the car up if you need it?

Thanks. We are waiting to see if he has a hairline fracture of cheek. Surrounded by so many people who have also had falls, some really badly.

I agree with PPs about looking into Yak Trax etc. (or shoes/boots with grippy soles, if in your budget) so you can get around independently in all kinds of weather if you need to. They'd probably also be useful to walk the dog once you got to your dad's.

BUT I don't think the way your partner handled your request for a lift was very civil. There are plenty of reasons why he might not be able to leave the office even for fifteen minutes right now, but it sounds like he gave you no explanation at all and just said no. And his comment about not being able to say no to his friend ( "... can I?" Well, yes, he can - same way he said no to you) made matters worse. Even if he thought your request was unreasonable or there was no way he could help, it was obviously important to you and so he should have treated it seriously. If he had time to give you the run-around about his friend, he had time to tell you (for example) that he couldn't go out because he had a conference call scheduled in five minutes.

I'd try to discuss it with him again face to face when he's not distracted by work, but if he's normally this dismissive of your requests that's not a sign of a great partner. Also, if the two of you share a car why is he taking it if he works just down the street? Can he walk to work or you drop him off and pick him up?

The stud YakTrax aren’t too slippy inside. I find them fine to wear when I go into shops albeit noisy as they click! The other style are slippier for sure.

Good point then maybe you deserve the car more and he can walk 5 mins, the git.

I wouldn’t be doing unnecessary trips in the car in this weather, it is far safer to walk then drive.

it doesn’t sound as if you think his job is important and he can leave whenever he wants but this is rarely the case.

I use walking poles when it is icy. Make me feel a lot safer.

Eh? Why would you say you don't drive?!

If you DO drive, but he has the car and drives to work which is 5 minutes away... why?!

Why don't you drop/collect him from work, leaving you the car all day?! Or he can walk/cycle, leaving you with the car all day.

Him taking the car and then you wanting him to leave his job and come home and pick you up, to take you to the bus stop, to get the bus to your dad's, and then pay £15 for a taxi to bring you home is just the most bizarre household decision!?

Ooops sorry, ignore my post then, apologies, I read the OP too hastily, in that case I don't think he should come out of work then, but maybe you could both go later when he's finished?

Some of the posts on this thread are wild! Seriously, you would all leave your partners because they wouldn't leave work to drive you to the bus stop so you can walk your dad's dog?!

OP, sorry but I think YABU to expect this.

maybe you could both go later when he's finished?

The OP drives, so she could go on her own later.

It would make far more sense for her partner to walk the 5 minutes to work and leave her the car though?!

Do you work OP? If so, how do you get there?

Just get a taxi you cant expect him to leave work to drive you around.

Maybe today he's actually working at work or got a crisis on and can't drop everything to be a taxi driver.

Also if it is so bad for ice then how are you going to get from the bus stop to your destination and sort animals out with walking ?

I think you need to get shoes that allow you better grip in the snow, and if you can't find some suitable maybe a taxi is the better option.

Having their partner having to drop work every time the paths ice up isn't really something most people have the option of.

You need to use family funds to get a car. And make sure it's in your name and you are the registered keeper.

Do not be dependent on this scum of a lazy man.

Most people also don't just buy a car for themselves and watch their car-less partner struggle.

I can't believe people are defending this prick.

You wouldn’t help the person you love most in the world, for the sake of 10/11 minutes because it ‘adds up’ are you for real???????

Unkind

I just love how you’ve conveniently left out the two crucial points of BLACK ICE, and the fact that he jumps at the request to take his colleague 20 mins out of his way but of course those two key points don’t fit your narrative, do they?

Why can't you get a car for you to use?

You need some ice-friendly footwear in future. You would be safe with the right soles, I bought some last winter which are great.

If it came to it I'm sure your dad/s dog could go in the back yard for a couple of days, I am assuming he has a back yard of some description, different if he doesn't.

it's a bit much to 1. expect your husband to leave work to give you a lift to the bus stop and 2. for your dad to expect you to go over - on a bus journey then taxi home - just to take his dog over the road. He needs to make some emergency arrangements for times like this. It's good and right that you look out for your dad but you are not on the doorstep.

Of course YANBU. You don't have to be scared to ask for a lift either, you don't need extra justification. Its just a basic thing partners should be willing to do for each other ESPECIALLY if they'll do it for their friends.

Absolutely nothing unreasonable on your part.

He took colleague after work had finished, he didn't have to leave his job to do it.

I fell this morning on our patio just going out to put something in our recycling bins. It really knocked me for 6!

just love how you’ve conveniently left out the two crucial points of BLACK ICE, and the fact that he jumps at the request to take his colleague 20 mins out of his way but of course those two key points don’t fit your narrative, do they?

He took his friend yesterday, after he'd finished work!

It's icy whether it's walking or driving.

The most sensible solution to the OP's problem was for her to say this morning, 'it's icy and I want to go to my dad's today. I'll drop you at work so I can have the car'.

I'm guessing if she doesn’t have £30, her 'loving' partner doesn't either 🤔.

Then again, this may be one of those set ups with no joint finance- one is broke and one is not 🤷🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️.