Partner won’t give me a lift in the ice …

[inkyspells]

So during the night the snow has started to melt and it’s icy out there.
The main roads are clear but the paths are Ice.
Went out this morning and even with my boots on I’ve fallen over.
I get really anxious about falling over so that’s knocked my confidence.
My partner is a manager of a company 5 mins around the corner and I asked him could you drive me to the bus stop just so I can get to my dads and take out his dog and get him essentials (he’s 86 and I don’t want him falling over )
He said no he’s not doing that and I just need to get a grip and walk to the bus stop (about 10 mins but it’s thick of ice )
Bare in mind last night he was on his way home when his work friend text saying the bus hadn’t come so he immediately said “no bother mate il take you home “ 20 mins in opposite direction.
Aibu to be a bit sad he won’t even drive 5 mins to help me out.
Now before anyone comes at me,last year I slipped on the ice and broke my wrist so ever since then I’ve been scared…I have bought decent boots but still it’s a ice rink.

He’s a selfish git

You need some snowtrax to put over your shoes for icy weather. our paths are treacherous but I could walk with confidence this morning with them on.

Does your OH seriously drive to work which is '5 minutes round the corner'?

I don't like driving in snow/ice particularly. Very experienced driver of 40 years almost but I have had a couple of spins on icy roads so much prefer to walk to work which I do now.

I wouldn't leave work to take anyone anywhere that could walk. You state that the roads are clear but if the pavements were still icy when you posted then it's likely the back roads were still icy in patches. I would not want to drive on icy roads and potentially risk a car accident.

So, no. I do not think your OH is unreasonable. But he is unreasonable to drive to work if it's really 5 minutes away and he doesn't need his car for work during his working day!

You need some snow boots or the things PP's advised. I walk to work in boots suitable for ice and snow. Your confidence has been knocked but you can work on overcoming that.

He sounds absolutely horrible OP. I'd leave someone who was as mean minded as that. You're scared and have actually injured yourself before. And he's literally quite willing to let you injure yourself again - to actually be in potentially considerable physical pain again. He's ok with that? Oh god. Leave. But not before absolutely blasting him for his cruelty. What an absolute prick.

He's a Twat. Sorry you have to put up with this

She said she can't afford the taxis.

You can bet your ass that if it was reversed and OP was a woman saying her DH was grumpy as she wouldn't leave work to give him a lift he'd be getting a pasting for asking.

Sorry OP, but i do think your being unreasonable to expect him to leave work to take you there, it would be different if he were on the way to work and it was a short detour or an emergency.

Are you the friend? You sound like you'd be friends with someone like her DH.

You expect him to leave work to drive you to the bus stop?? Conveniently forgot to add this part to the OP, did you?

He sounds absolutely horrible OP. I'd leave someone who was as mean minded as that.

Really? He's at work and she isn't!?

I wouldn't leave work to drive someone somewhere when they could walk. I'd probably offer to do it after work though. Then I'd suggest they learnt to drive (unless there was a good medical reason why not) and bought them some boots that function in the ice.

These are good for walking on ice, but useless if you’re getting on a bus or anywhere else with a smooth floor. They’re really dangerous as they prevent your footwear from gripping so you will skid.

And yes, I’m sick of hearing about partners who will do anything for anyone as long as it’s not their partner. Of course he should help you. Especially as he knows how scared you are because of your previous injury.

BTW when your wrist was broken, did he take on more household chores and look after you?

My DH could disappear whenever he wants from work and no one would question it. I could call him home to deal with spiders, open a stuck jar lid or indeed drive me to the bus stop and his employer wouldn’t really care. But I only contact him at work about actual emergencies - like “I just called an ambulance for our baby” type emergencies not “my Dad’s dog needs a walk and it’s icy”. He’s working, it’s disrespectful to interrupt and expect him to drop everything to do trivial and unnecessary favours.

He gave an actually stranded person a lift home when he wasn’t working and was in the car anyway. Totally different situation.

Given the number of threads on here about it being unreasonable to interrupt people working from home, because they are working and thus unavailable, I don’t understand why this a controversial stance. And like a pp said, I think there’s some sexism here and a man who asked his girlfriend to leave her job to drive him on an unnecessary errand would get pasted.

How horrible of him. I couldn’t live like this with someone.

If he's not in work then he really should take you all the way in the car and then help you to see to your Dad, I would give my husband a lift anywhere in my time off work if he didn't have a car himself, and he would do the same for me too. It seems mean that he took the friend and not his own partner.

But he IS in work.

Unlike the day before when he had finished work, which is when he gave his friend a lift.

He is in work. OP wants him to leave work and give her a lift to the bus stop.

Yikes 😬. That is mean indeed.

I've seen a car slide into another this morning and few people sliding and falling. I'd expect support from a partner, especially given you broke a limb last year.

He doesnt like you

Just to clarify
I didn’t plan on asking him to help me out,I left the house this morning heading to bus stop and slipped and fell ..luckily didn’t hurt myself this time.
He is at work yes but every single day he’s out and about “just popped to b&m “ “popped to the sandwich shop” etc etc so I honestly don’t think driving around the corner is a big ask,I said whenever is convenient for you ..I didn’t ask him to drop everything.
Also his friend wasn’t “stranded “ it’s a busy route with 4 bus options but 1 was cancelled and didn’t want to wait in the cold for 5 mins for the bus to come along.
I got my dads milk etc from Asda last night and was dropping them today.
My dad has to take the dog across to the grass,the dog unfortunately needs to go out,he took him across this morning but was slipping and at his I don’t want him to hurt himself.

Horrible.

I have a hikers poll and grippy shoes.

Next time he wants something- answer will be NO

I got my dads milk etc from Asda last night

Do you drive?

I think it's mean and he doesn't like you. If you wear YakTrax take them off before you get on the bus as ther are VERY slippery on smooth flooring like PP said.

No I don’t drive ,well I can drive but partner has the car

If you had said to your DP 'fair enough, but could you let me have £30 so I can get a taxi there and back?' what would his reaction have been? Do you work or are you financially dependent on him?

My dad has to take the dog across to the grass,the dog unfortunately needs to go out,he took him across this morning but was slipping and at his I don’t want him to hurt himself.

It sounds like you would be best to get your partner to take the dog out.
If your dad is slipping and you are nervous of slipping is it a good idea for you to go over?