To be upset partner going on holiday without me?

[lulu55xxx]

We live together,been a couple 7 years and are getting married next year.
Anyway he works as a manager for a kitchen company and they have branches all through the UK.
The company is taking the top 15 shops China to look at where there products are made etc and have been asked if they want to go.
Everyone in our area has declined but partner said yes as it’s his dream destination…we were planning on going together in a couple of years.
Now look I know I’m probably being ridiculous
It’s a free trip etc etc but I’m sad he’s going without me for two weeks.
Il be stuck here.
Now il be wishing him a nice time and hoping he has a good time but I’m still sad inside he’s going without me.
The assistant manager has declined as he doesn’t want to live his wife for that long but my partner had zero issues saying he would go.

Aibu ?

From your update OP it sounds as if you're grieving for your Mum, and it's made you anxious about being on your own, as well as losing your partner. Have you had any grief counselling? You might find it beneficial to talk through your emotions. You can't be with your partner all the time, and you know that. It's not healthy to be together all the time either. Your partner has been given a fantastic opportunity, and he'd be crazy to turn it down. He's going on a business trip, that may give him some down time, so he can sightsee. It isn't a holiday.

I read your other threads.

Your fiance is not nice to you.

You've posted a number of threads over the last month which reveal his unkindness and, on occasion, his hostility towards you.

You mentioned that you lost your Mum which I see happened when you were still a child. I suspect that this trip has brought back some worries about abandonment/loneliness.

I think it would be a good idea to have some counselling now if you didnt have the opportunity when you were younger. It really is never too late (I speak from experience). It may cast a light on things now.

The trip is neither here nor there. You will be okay.

It's a work trip, probably to the arse end of nowhere in the industrial depths of a gigantic country. Yabvu - would you feel the same if he was going to <insert random shitty industrial part of the UK>?

My DP changed his return flights once on a work trip and I flew out to join him once he'd finished the working part - could you do this?

DH went on business trips to Jamaica, Barbados, Thailand, Dubai, Austria and Malta and others. I was working and could not take time off. He was working but abroad. In a healthy relationship people are allowed to grow. Don’t deny him this opportunity..

Oh, so you're lying about you and all your friends? Or are you the only person on Mumsnet telling the truth?

I’m so very sorry for your loss. I lost my mum while engaged to my now DH and experienced a period of deep anxiety around his safety afterwards. He cycled to work in London and we actually added tracking to each other’s phone in this period because if he forgot to text me when he got to work I’d have a panic attack. So I 100% completely understand where you’re coming from and I do recommend seeking therapy for your grief. I would also have found him taking a two week trip abroad very challenging at that time, but objectively if you don’t have children then what he’s doing is not unreasonable.

I would talk to him about what your worries really are and see what steps you can take as a couple to make it easier. Do you track his location so you feel connected? Do you sit and work out what times will be suitable to talk based on work schedule and time zones? Does he send you a picture every day?

Also, I hope you have friends around you who can support you too. Could you plan things to do with them while he’s away so you aren’t feeling lonely?

I can’t promise you grief will go away, but it changing and you learn to manage it better. It’s been 9 years now for me and DH still cycles to the office and now travels often for work. Worrying about him doesn’t consume me anymore. I really wish you the best.

You've got a very need bunch of friends if they can't even go a weekend without their DHs.

It sounds like you’re sad that he’s happy to be without you for two weeks when the other manager didn’t want to leave his wife.
that is understandable.Try to reassure yourself that you’re loved. And hopefully he can reassure you too.