To be upset partner going on holiday without me?

[lulu55xxx]

We live together,been a couple 7 years and are getting married next year.
Anyway he works as a manager for a kitchen company and they have branches all through the UK.
The company is taking the top 15 shops China to look at where there products are made etc and have been asked if they want to go.
Everyone in our area has declined but partner said yes as it’s his dream destination…we were planning on going together in a couple of years.
Now look I know I’m probably being ridiculous
It’s a free trip etc etc but I’m sad he’s going without me for two weeks.
Il be stuck here.
Now il be wishing him a nice time and hoping he has a good time but I’m still sad inside he’s going without me.
The assistant manager has declined as he doesn’t want to live his wife for that long but my partner had zero issues saying he would go.

Aibu ?

YABVU

I am glad you’ve not shared how you feel with him because if you had he may reconsider the relationship and marriage (I know I would).

You are individuals and it’s fine for him to go and enjoy himself without you.

You need to live your own life OP.
I know couples who regularly do separate holidays.
Its not healthy for your happiness to come from 1 person.

but my partner had zero issues saying he would go. (why wouldn't he?)

Posters are just reading the OP and replying based on the OP, not projecting or dramatizing

It is two weeks, not two years. You sound very needy.

Yabu, i travel with work and sometimes I tack a couple days at the start/end - why would you not want your partner to have an amazing opportunity like that?? Him going on an expenses paid business trip does not prevent you both from going in the future. You sound needy, clingy and jealous. If someone else genuinely isnt going because they dont want to be away from their wife that says something about their relationship tbh, how petty and sad

I know you shouldn’t have to, but I would urge those being so harsh to the OP to have a look at her other posts.
She is NOT in a healthy relationship, and this man is not nice.

This, everyone.

She is also in a very vulnerable place mentally.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to be privately disappointed (even a bit sad) that you won’t be going to China for the first time together if that was planned for a couple of years time.

You would be being unreasonable to voice it.

I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like you need to guard against attempting to control him out of fear of losing him, as this is likely to backfire. Most healthy people don’t want to be with someone who attempts to keep them always at their side. I think you should try to build a bigger network and not put so much pressure on him to be your whole world.

eta: I only just read the other comments (I had the OPs posts and some others but not the most recent PPs). I apologise if I have taken this situation at face value and I am not aware of the whole picture of your relationship. Maybe seeking counselling would help - if this man is not nice, it would benefit you to acknowledge that and let him go.

Mumsnet is a fictional place where everyone portrays a version of themselves that in reality does not exist. I wouldn't be happy with this nor would anyone I know be happy with this. If it was really important then it would be a different matter but really important trips are not 2 weeks long or optional. This sounds like a reward for high performing branches....

What do you mean? My XH regularly went on business trips that involved him being abroad for four to six weeks.

And so what if it’s a reward?
And in reality lots of people don’t have an issue with this sort of trip. Your reality is not representative of everyone.

All of this. seems like the holiday has brought other issues to the forefront. Don't ignore your own feelings.

True. My trips are often 10 days minimum due to the distance.

Then you have weird friends. I don’t know anyone who is bothered by either a work trip or a lads weekend

Of course it exists. Work trips for many are completely normal, exists, don’t cause partners to even have an opinion on them and yes can be 2 weeks. I’ve plenty of friends who travel a lot for work, often 2 weeks if it’s factory visits. My husband did a week to 2 weeks every 6 weeks or so and it’s just life

Even if it was a holiday, I would say you were BU. 2 weeks to a place that he's always wanted to visit ! I'm actually surprised that so many managers turned it down because they don't want to leave their wives for 2 whole weeks - sounds a little far-fetched to me.

Mumsnet is a fictional place where everyone portrays a version of themselves that in reality does not exist.

Truer a word was never spoken.

What a wonderful experience for your husband. How could he possibly turn it down? I wouldn't! And how lovely that he trusts and respects you enough to be confident you'll be fine on your own for two weeks.

Sounds like an amazing opportunity! My partner has the chance to go to Texas for three weeks with his work last year and initially said no (we had a 9 month old). I insisted he went - he might never get another chance.
He also has weeks/fortnight's in Germany and Spain and although working does get to go out and do nice things. It's part of his job and one of the perks.
Each year he has a week long proper holiday, skiing with his university friends. Again, I insisted he continued to do this even after we had a child. It's important he maintains those friendships (lives in a different country to them now) and how selfish would I be to stop him? It's healthy to have time apart.

Sounds like a great opportunity for him. You could always take it as an opportunity for a week long girls trip or solo adventure at the same time. Maybe somewhere you've always wanted to go to but he's not as keen. I did a solo trip to Venice once when my OH was away and I think I had an even better time than he did!

It is a good thing for a couple to take trips separately as well as together.

As this is for work rather than a holiday, he can take the opportunity to do a bit of research whilst there for your own trip together, which will be a holiday.

If you don't have children then I don't see the problem really.

It seems extreme to me to be that codependent on your partner TBH.

In the real world, people travel for work alone all the time -and go on holiday alone all the time too,

but their partners are confident and independent enough.

I wouldn't be happy with this nor would anyone I know be happy with this.
Maybe you need to broaden your horizons a bit? 😂

If you genuinely think the real world does not exist, it's a bit of a worry.

I don't understand this comment - it seems quite sour and as if you are unable to make the most of opportunities when they arise

Why is it an issue if it's a reward rather than a formal work trip?

Not being able to spend 2 weeks away from your partner is not healthy. We're not talking about caring requirements, or anything affecting OP's work or personal time. It's purely 2 adults spending 14 days apart, it should not be such a big deal.

My DD works in the soft furnishings industry and regularly goes to China for 2 to 5 weeks at a time. She says its exhausting as they work 12 hour days whilst there, 6 days a week, visiting factories and overseeing various processes and machinery. Its no holiday.