To be upset partner going on holiday without me?

[lulu55xxx]

We live together,been a couple 7 years and are getting married next year.
Anyway he works as a manager for a kitchen company and they have branches all through the UK.
The company is taking the top 15 shops China to look at where there products are made etc and have been asked if they want to go.
Everyone in our area has declined but partner said yes as it’s his dream destination…we were planning on going together in a couple of years.
Now look I know I’m probably being ridiculous
It’s a free trip etc etc but I’m sad he’s going without me for two weeks.
Il be stuck here.
Now il be wishing him a nice time and hoping he has a good time but I’m still sad inside he’s going without me.
The assistant manager has declined as he doesn’t want to live his wife for that long but my partner had zero issues saying he would go.

Aibu ?

PS the same principle applies if it is another country.

Then you must have extremely overbearing friends or their husbands aren’t very good people and their “lads weekends” are exactly as they sound. Lots of alcohol, drugs, strip clubs, tales of other husbands cheating etc and if that’s the case, more fool them for being married to such men.

Me and my husband have weekends away separately constantly. He has hobbies and enjoys being outdoors and I love travelling with my girlfriends for spas, shopping, sightseeing etc.

We are extremely happy and trust each other 100%. It is a sign of a healthy relationship that you can let each other have lives outside of the relationship.

I would encourage you to find your independence again. Take up a hobby that you do on your own, spend time with your friends without your partner.

Being reliant on one person for everything isn’t healthy and can become suffocating for that person. Also, whilst I genuinely wish you a long and happy marriage, you never know what curve balls life may throw at you. Being able to function by yourself is really important.

I’ve just read your other threads and wonder if you can use the time alone to think about whether your relationship is actually a positive or negative thing in your life. You may find your mental health improves drastically without a man around who treats you so badly.

You don't know anybody in real life who is ok with their partner having separate holidays / weekends away with their friends?!

Seriously?!?!

It’s a work trip, YABVU, and if it’s any consolation when I’ve been abroad for work it’s 99% work and very little downtime, these trips are not as glamorous as you might think!

Sorry, after reading a comment above, I too have read a couple of your previous posts.

You should not be getting married. You need to find your self esteem and independence. Once you know you can cope on your own you will be far less likely to accept a poor relationship.

My DH used to go away a lot pre covid, and I was often incredibly jealous, and he was having a nice time not just working, but it was part of his job. I also got to go away with my job, not generally quite as glamorous places but…. Sometimes one of us would be able to go along as a plus one, but not often.

ithink you need to work on your feelings and insecurities not limited his choices.

Jesus ..... Of course he should go. What an opportunity! It's a work trip not a holiday

And even if it was a holiday. Great!

I would hate it too, DH and I over 48 years together have only been apart when we’ve each been in hospital.

Vv u reasonable and honestly if he was my friend I'd be advising him to think hard about the relationship. Life is hopefully long and you will both need a life outside the couple. Different if you have kids because you need to make sure the other person is supported during the travel but two adults should be able to survive and thrive alone

Oh I agree. I still wouldn’t be happy with him
going on a two week trip though unless it was for some essential reason. I wouldn’t stop
him if it was something he really wanted to do but I’d be a bit hurt.

YABTAUU (totally and utterly 😀)
Freebie two weeks in China? He'd be mad not to go!

I said “most of” my friends. Some (usually the one’s who’s partners do their heads in) are more than happy!

You say you will be stuck there.

Why will you be stuck ?
Is there some reason you can’t function or get around without him?
Why so reliant on him.

Be pleased that he’s motivated enough to get ahead in his career. That can only be a good thing surely.

Make plans for yourself while he’s away with family and friends or do home improvement or use the time to benefit your own life/career somehow.

Your world shouldn’t stop just because your DP goes on a business trip.
Support him a bit OP.

I missed the bit where he's going on holiday where is that bit?

Do you work @lulu55xxx ?

I'm sorry, but holiday =/= traipsing around industrial bits of China looking at kitchen manufacturing facilities.

Yeah, I was going to say this. He's not going to be doing business things for 2 weeks solid, and while he's at meetings etc you'd be able to explore.

But if this isn't possible, then yes YABU. Why should he turn down an amazing free trip? You can either go with him this time, or still go when you'd planned, together.

Either he will have free time and you can go with him, or he won't have free time so he won't have seen enough of China to spoil your joint trip.

You're being wildly ridiculous unless there's some back story that you've got newborn twins or triplets or something and a toddler and you can't cope without him.
It's a business trip not a holiday. Get over yourself.

It's a business trip. Probably around factories. Hopefully nice meals out and some sightseeing.

Sounds like a great opportunity.

My DP has gone to various countries on business trips and each has been a great experience.

I would be pleased for my partner that he has this opportunity.

It’s a business trip and you sound like a petulant child.
China is a nightmare for visas. Be glad his work will be sorting that for him.
YABVU

YABU, DH has been on several "fancy business trips" to locations such as Hong Kong, mainland China and Sweden. The reality is, they are very boring, meeting suppliers, being polite, mixing with people you would rather not, eating local food and seeing industrial estates and factories.

You are missing nothing other than a Chinese Visa in your passport.

Totally unreasonable. Both me and partner travel for work. Sure, work trips abroad usually involve a bit of sightseeing, some nice restaurants for client meals and fun but also they are work, you can't relax properly and you are bound by their schedules. He should go, it's just two weeks of a whole life.