To be upset partner going on holiday without me?

[lulu55xxx]

We live together,been a couple 7 years and are getting married next year.
Anyway he works as a manager for a kitchen company and they have branches all through the UK.
The company is taking the top 15 shops China to look at where there products are made etc and have been asked if they want to go.
Everyone in our area has declined but partner said yes as it’s his dream destination…we were planning on going together in a couple of years.
Now look I know I’m probably being ridiculous
It’s a free trip etc etc but I’m sad he’s going without me for two weeks.
Il be stuck here.
Now il be wishing him a nice time and hoping he has a good time but I’m still sad inside he’s going without me.
The assistant manager has declined as he doesn’t want to live his wife for that long but my partner had zero issues saying he would go.

Aibu ?

@throwawayimplantchatI have changed the destination and his trade

He’s not going on holiday it’s a work trip, sure he will get some free time to explore but that is different to choosing to holiday without you.

As for his colleague not wanting to go that’s fine too, I wouldn’t want to go to China and would make an excuse not to go.

my dh has been to Las Vegas x 2, New York, Lisbon, Barcelona, Hawaii without me with work, he stays in fancy hotels, fed the nicest of foods and is lucky if he gets an hour to himself a day, mostly he sees one conference room after the other with an evening meal spent networking, certainly not what I would class as a holiday

It’s a business trip, not a jolly. It’s only two weeks. My husband regularly works away globally for 2 weeks at a time. Yes he gets some free time, but essentially he’s still at work. Business trips are not all they’re cracked up to be.

Don’t be daft it’s free, just be glad that he doesn’t have to go overseas with work all the time mine did it with no discernible pattern for a decade. It’s a one off. Both DH and I visit relatives overseas without each other.

I think you’re being ridiculous.
Also, if I knew you IRL, I could probably identify you from this post, if it is indeed kitchens he works in

i have changed the destination and his job but it’s still two weeks away.
I haven’t told him at all I’m sad,as far as he is concerned I’m over the moon for him.
Its not for a few months and then a month later we are going on a nice holiday in the sun so I have things to look forward too.
I used to be so independent and was single for literally 10 years ,meals alone,trips alone and now I just hate being alone.
I lost my mum and just feel like he’s my world and if anything happens to him,don’t know what I would do.
Hes a bit silly when he’s drunk and careless.

I understand where you’re coming from OP.

I know for a fact my dh wouldn’t want to do this and I wouldn’t want to go away for two weeks without him either but he runs his own business and we could afford a trip like this together so a bit different.

You feel how you feel.

Very odd that all the others have chosen not to go on this trip. Why is it even optional if it’s for business?

Hi my lovely. You will get everyone telling you you are unreasonable for not wanting your partner to go on an exciting and important business trip. And you are unreasonable for that.

But if you are the poster I recall from other threads you are really struggling with your health at the moment and your partner is not being at all kind or supportive. If that’s right and I have remembered you correctly (you have a pretty user name) then that’s the real issue. Don’t focus on the business trip. Focus on your own wellbeing. It may be that you would be better out of this relationship. That’s for you to decide obviously.

I really wish you well.

Also - MN is the only place where I ever see this kind of attitude of “oh, you’re so needy and unreasonable for being slightly upset that your dh is going off to travel for two weeks”.

In RL I don’t know anyone who’d be happy with this. Most of my friends get pissed off if their dh’s even go on a lads weekend!

There are clearly other issues besides the trip. I would get some counselling.

I’m really sorry about your mum OP and think maybe it’s more to do with the loss of her than it is about your DP. I wonder if it’s worth having some counselling to help you talk through combatting the feeling of losing an anchor when a parent passes away? It could really help you.

Gently, OP, those are your issues, not his. He's going on a business trip, which coincidentally happens to be somewhere he's always wanted to go. Your fear of being alone can't be allowed to compromise a perfectly normal work thing.

He's going for work not on his holiday so yabvu

Then, respectfully, most of your friends are a bit odd!

Im going away next week with work- its work but with some fun times likely to happen, in a city me and DH both love. No annual leave taken, no family money used, he is totally fine with it. As should you be

Sounds like you need some help around the loss of your mum - I’m so sorry.
You can’t let your grief become an intruder in your soon-to-be marriage. It will become a problem very quickly.

Sending love 🩵

Dh and I have been solo travelling ( along with family trips) for over 30 years. Marriage is not a cage and I am not anyone's keeper.
Best we all get used to being alone on occasion.

Sorry about your mum OP. But it could be helpful to be on your own for 2 weeks and discover that nothing bad happens, DP keeps in touch regularly and having him back is wonderful. Quite different from losing a loved one .
If he is likely to behave stupidly and drink too much, you need to talk to him about that separately.

I think your unreasonable. My H has had 2 all expensives paid trips one was Cancon the other Hawaii. He went for a month both times. It was absolutely free and all inclusive for him. He loved it and I got on with life at home. I'm happy he had an experience of a lifetime. Although, we didn't have kids at the time. Having kids would have made it harder but I would have still sent him on his merry way. There has been talk about Tanzania in the next year but that will only be 2 weeks.

They’re really not I assure you. It’s quite normal! You see it on here all the time too, usually when the OP stays home with the dcs and doesn’t get the same opportunities.

It’s a perfectly normal human reaction for many reasons. Personally I like dh going off for a couple of days every now and again - two weeks would be too long apart for us though.

I have been an SAHM in the past but we still took turns at going away.If men go away all the time leaving wives at home thats unfair, but no reason why men can't look after DC.

Kids grown now. DH went away for two weeks to see family. I waved him goodbye.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum…I know exactly how you feel. Easier said than done, but try and focus on the positives.

I would jump at a chance to do a trip with my work like this. 2 weeks is nothing and it would probably never be offered again.

However, my husband would hate me going, like you dont want your husband to go. It doesn't mean he loves you any less, comparing him to colleagues is ridiculous.

I haven't said this to my husband but I find his need to not be alone very suffocating and annoying.

He will be visiting factories, not the Great Wall of China. It’s a big country. You can still go together.