My nanny got cosmetic surgery and can’t work

[Crispychillifriedbeef]

We live overseas and we have a full time nanny. She also does cleaning, laundry, cooking etc. This is normal for the culture here. Everyone has a housekeeper / nanny / driver. We pay her well and she’s part of the family, she’s been with us 18 months with no problems.

My husband works full time and I’m a writer and a part time student. We have a small child at school and a two year old who is at home but attends an educational setting part time. My husband and I go to lots of events so need evening cover.

Anyway, we have been in our home country for 3 weeks over Christmas and the nanny has had 3 weeks paid leave. She sends me a WhatsApp today saying “I’ve had cosmetic surgery done” with various photos. She is expecting to be off work for 3-4 weeks. We come back to the country tomorrow so we’re expecting to see her tomorrow.

AIBU to be annoyed? This was sprung on me at the last minute.

You sound disturbed. Are you jealous or something?

It's so weird, there is such a weird attitude around nannies on this site. They are literally another form of childcare that suits some families needs over others, that's it, there's nothing to judge or hate about it.

I understand that you are cross she has gven you no notice. Can you get your parents to fly out to help with childcare for the next few weeks? I would be tempted to start looking for a replacement. Or, at least, amending her contract re taking leave at short notice - a scheduled cosmetic procedure is not the same as unavoidable sickness.

You have a very fucked up attitude, you sound batshit 😂

This is a fucking unhinged comment - Why would you say something like that?!

Bitterness is such an ugly trait

Mmm hm

Looking forward to the coverage

It’s either jealousy or they don’t understand and think they’re used as slaves. I have loads of friends who make a very decent living being a nanny.

I think when the British taxpayer is funding a nanny it's fair to hold views

Absolutely, I'm a nanny, have been for 20 years. I know my worth and charge as such. I'm not a slave and do not get treated as one!

I’m being thick here so apologies, but I don’t understand?

People in the public sector are paid a salary. It’s up to them what they do with their salary. They can buy a sports car, employ a cleaner, fly business class or do whatever they want with their money.

Op claims to be the wife in an fcdo diplomat family

Which means you and I are paying for this nanny, not op

OP, just based on your initial query and not all the snarky back and forth:

Yes, annoyed is not unreasonable. Nanny should have said, I have booked surgery for my holiday and expect recovery to be 3-4 weeks. So you could have made arrangements for temp cover if needed.
You should tell her that in future you need notice if she plans to be off longer than arranged as a term of employment.

An aside: is cosmetic surgery very cheap that a nanny can afford it?

No, they are paid a salary. They get to do what they want with said salary.

Or are civil servants not allowed to spend their money how they choose? Because that would actually be a form of servitude.

So let me get this right, your belief is that no public sector worker can use their salary as they wish? Do you apply this fo a council library assistant or teacher?

That’s batshit crazy.

My heart bleeds for you 😂

I work for the public sector. Which is why I know you're not funding the nanny with your own cash.

I sorry I missed that. I still don’t think it’s relevant. They pay mortgage, food, bills too. Their money to do as they wish (IMO)

They don't pay their own housing costs when on deployment either 😉

You should have asked this in legal and just said generic employee

the froth around nanny’s is absurd and incredibly insulting to both the position of nanny and mother!

Great, I would like to see your itemised expenditure then as I’m a taxpayer.

See how crazy it sounds?

Lucky them :-)