My nanny got cosmetic surgery and can’t work

[Crispychillifriedbeef]

We live overseas and we have a full time nanny. She also does cleaning, laundry, cooking etc. This is normal for the culture here. Everyone has a housekeeper / nanny / driver. We pay her well and she’s part of the family, she’s been with us 18 months with no problems.

My husband works full time and I’m a writer and a part time student. We have a small child at school and a two year old who is at home but attends an educational setting part time. My husband and I go to lots of events so need evening cover.

Anyway, we have been in our home country for 3 weeks over Christmas and the nanny has had 3 weeks paid leave. She sends me a WhatsApp today saying “I’ve had cosmetic surgery done” with various photos. She is expecting to be off work for 3-4 weeks. We come back to the country tomorrow so we’re expecting to see her tomorrow.

AIBU to be annoyed? This was sprung on me at the last minute.

This. I'd want to sack her immediately. She is a Cheeky Fucker.

Assume holiday is pro rata, so if you fired her now, she may owe you a week or so’s pay (technically) as she may not have accrued the full 3 weeks she already taken? Fairly sure wherever you are based she won’t be entitled to sick pay for recovery from elective surgery that she did not notify you of before.

In your shoes, I’d tell her she is fired and contact an agency for an emergency replacement. I appreciate she was ‘like family’ but obviously she wasn’t, otherwise you’d have known about the surgery. She’s betrayed your trust.

But could be that her recovery is taking longer than expected.
If nanny was on 3 weeks leave, she may have anticipated that she would be ready to rtw after that time.

I would check the legal position where you live as clearly this is elective surgery that was deliberately scheduled for the day before you came home, not an emergency like breaking her leg.

Why on earth does she need so long for that? I had my eyelift on a Thursday evening and was working from home the Monday after and back in the office the following Tuesday.

She had the OP yesterday, as has been said a few times.

Yeah my heart bleeds for you. Sorry that sounds mean doesn't it. But it's how I feel.

Human beings sometimes can't work. If her contract states you'll pay her then do so if not then you don't and spend the money on someone else to cover her absence?

Out of interest do you have cosmetic surgery?

My nanny had a nose job (not cosmetic purposes) - she gave me plenty of notice and she wasn’t off more than a week. Because I had the notice I took holiday with the kids then. She offered to take the time unpaid but it wasn’t a problem for me.

given this was cosmetic and no notice I can’t see how she would get sick pay and I would tell her it will be unpaid or she uses leave. That might make the recovery time reduce

is there n agency you can use for a temp?

I'm sure nanny works very hard and keeps family life going.
Cut her some slack

@BillieWiper The nanny deliberately scheduled the procedure for the day before her employers were returning. This isn’t a case of needing more time to recover, it was planned.

I think because her role is very active with lifting, bending etc. And because she doesn’t want to be seen looking bruised.

But she isn’t keeping family life going! Can you imagine telling any other employer you are going to have to take 3-4 weeks off work at short notice

An eyelift

Do you mean a blepharoplasty to remove excess fat/skin from the eye lid??? My mum has this done in her early 70's and was driving 10days later!

No paid sick leave in my (UK) contract for cosmetic work if there is any suggestion of sick pay

She is very unreliable and I would be looking elsewhere

I imagine looking after a toddler is a lot more physical work than working from home or office work

It would be helpful if the OP lets us know the country and nationality of her nanny.

Why does she need time for an eyelift? My friend took a week off then worse big glasses for a week. If she's fearful your children might catch her eyes then glasses are a good option, but an eye lift is not really like a tummy tuck or boob job is it?

I'm going to have mine dine and, like my friend, I'll just need a week off so the worst of the swelling ones down.

I don’t want to out myself. The nanny is a national of the country we live in.

of course you can be pissed off! How many of us will send such a message to our bosses?

You are probably in the middle east or asia? The “nannies” there are really glorified maids and don’t have the capacity to think about their work ethic ans the effect on the employer due to their absence. Their mentality is completely different.

and please …. She is a part of your household and not your family …….

In the NHS it absolutely would be paid sick leave. I don't know about other organisations.

surgery is surgery. Also LOL at vanity. God forbid. 🙄

OP sounds like you are in a pickle now. Did she not think to give you any notice whatsoever? Surely that’s just the normal no matter what industry you work in.

If you children are attached to her, I would factor that into any decisions you take about her future employment with you. But yes she has let you down.

But her role isn't essential as in the majority of people don't have nannies or housekeepers.
OP will survive
Nanny is likely very young (I am making assumptions here) and needs to be given a chance

Different cultures have different ways of looking at life. Working long hours in a low paid job she probably thinks she doesn't owe you anything. I'm guessing Dubai or somewhere in the Gulf.

@kenadams5 Yes, surgery is surgery but from a work perspective, not giving notice that.you have a procedure scheduled for X date is poor behavior.

I had an accident last year and had an op a few days later (I was pretty much bed bound until then). Obviously I informed my employers of the surgery date!