My nanny got cosmetic surgery and can’t work

[Crispychillifriedbeef]

We live overseas and we have a full time nanny. She also does cleaning, laundry, cooking etc. This is normal for the culture here. Everyone has a housekeeper / nanny / driver. We pay her well and she’s part of the family, she’s been with us 18 months with no problems.

My husband works full time and I’m a writer and a part time student. We have a small child at school and a two year old who is at home but attends an educational setting part time. My husband and I go to lots of events so need evening cover.

Anyway, we have been in our home country for 3 weeks over Christmas and the nanny has had 3 weeks paid leave. She sends me a WhatsApp today saying “I’ve had cosmetic surgery done” with various photos. She is expecting to be off work for 3-4 weeks. We come back to the country tomorrow so we’re expecting to see her tomorrow.

AIBU to be annoyed? This was sprung on me at the last minute.

Yes I'd be annoyed - she has given you no notice whatsoever.

Get a new nanny this one is unreliable.

Thats really shitty of her

I hope she wasn’t expecting that to be paid leave.

Annoying but it's going to take you longer to find someone to replace her and will she be so good? Is this Dubai?

Regardless of the minutiae of the situation, your employee has sprung a leave request on you with little to no notice. The situation could have been avoided as it was not for an emergency and she is likely to have had plenty of notice of her elective surgery date. She's unreasonable for that.

Was she employed via an agency who could supply another nanny at short notice? If not, is she expecting to be paid for yet another 3-4 weeks of leave???

It wasn't emergency surgery but pre-planned. Was there a massive complication which meant that a minor thing now means her needing more time off? An infection or something? Even so, surely you shouldn't be paying for that. Is there a work contract? Does she get paid sick leave? What is HER plan in terms of providing the work she is supposed to be doing?

I had to give my employer 6 months notice to have a facelift as we are very busy and I need three weeks off. Im astounded she thought this was ok.

Absolutely grounds for firing unless she's been made ill unexpectedly by the surgery.

BTW she's really not part of your family. She's a skilled employee and your statement just blurs lines.

Not employed by an agency.

Her solution is that her cousin who is employed part time can work in the mornings. I don’t know her cousin and I need help mainly in the afternoon / evenings. This was after I expressed some displeasure.

Her contract is 4 week’s paid holiday per year and 2 weeks of paid sick leave. Then the state pays sick leave, I think it’s 50% rate.

Depends where she is. It's very common for employees in low paid jobs nannies, cleaners etc to extend leave when returning home with very short notice. I've lived in Lebanon and Bahrain it's not unusual.

What’s she had done?

I assume that she thought that she would be fully recovered before her return.
No different than breaking an ankle on holidays, things don’t always go to plan, she’s entitled to time off if she’s unwell, delayed recovery, granted she should have informed you earlier, put it down as a sick week.

Obviously she’s let you down badly, no question about that.

But, with those T&C’s, how would she have managed this anyway?

Would she get sick leave for cosmetic surgery? And does she need to take three weeks of leave at the same time as you to your home country or was that optional?

Can't get the staff nowadays.

She had the surgery done yesterday. I should have made that clearer!

Oh, okay, that’s different, she’s cheeky,

I’d give her notice, and find somebody a bit less flakey. I certainly wouldn’t want some random cousin filling in - the fact she even suggested that would make me rethink her employment tbh.

So those are the minimum required in this country, in practice she gets more like 6 weeks paid when we travel and she is welcome to take leave at other times but she only takes odd days. There are a lot of public holidays here so she gets those too.

I would seek legal advice as I wouldn’t want to pay her a cent. I’d rather pay more for the legal advice!!

I don't think the leave required after elective cosmetic surgery is counted as "sick leave" in the UK - it would be unpaid leave as it is voluntary and she is not sick, so would not get sick pay. Obviously the law may be different in the country you are in but doing this without notice might well be considered as Gross Misconduct (deliberately being Absent Without Leave having put you in a position of having no worker) and warrant sacking. Obviously it's not appropriate for her random cousin to do the work in her place.

It depends did she have a boob job for vainity or did she fall on new years day and break her nose and needed a reconstruction

Yes of course, she should have warned you.

If she's generally good though I'd ask an agency to provide cover, but be clear if she does this again then she's gone. Put it all in writing.

An eye lift. I remember her saying she had a nose job before she started with us.

I have to say the title struck me as the ultimate MC mumsnet thread 😂😂😂