My nanny got cosmetic surgery and can’t work

[Crispychillifriedbeef]

We live overseas and we have a full time nanny. She also does cleaning, laundry, cooking etc. This is normal for the culture here. Everyone has a housekeeper / nanny / driver. We pay her well and she’s part of the family, she’s been with us 18 months with no problems.

My husband works full time and I’m a writer and a part time student. We have a small child at school and a two year old who is at home but attends an educational setting part time. My husband and I go to lots of events so need evening cover.

Anyway, we have been in our home country for 3 weeks over Christmas and the nanny has had 3 weeks paid leave. She sends me a WhatsApp today saying “I’ve had cosmetic surgery done” with various photos. She is expecting to be off work for 3-4 weeks. We come back to the country tomorrow so we’re expecting to see her tomorrow.

AIBU to be annoyed? This was sprung on me at the last minute.

Yes that’s what I asked has she said why on earth she didn’t think to give her notice…

I would check the legality of employment law in the country you are in but the fact she had the surgery yesterday and then told you with no scope for you to be prepared would be the decider for me and I would fire her. An agency should be able to get you someone in for the short term and from the sounds of it, you’re going to need that anyway so just ask the agency to look for someone who could be available long term if it works out.

This is your employee, not a member of the family no matter what you have written in your OP.

I was more questioning the dig about vanity tbh. Of course with any surgery you inform your employer.

I read the thread title and assumed your grandma had recently had a face lift!

It’s childcare. I’m sure the housekeeper part isn’t an issue but OP needs someone to care for the kids while she works - this is like your nursery telling you with a days notice that they are shutting for a month

we have no idea if the nanny is young or not. My nanny was the same age as me and I am lucky that she was incredibly professional. We didn’t really have any other choice childcare wise unfortunately and it sounds like OP doesn’t either given the hours she needs covering

Unfortunately if someone who works in my home, and especially someone who works with the kids, raises a reason for me to develop trust issues with them - I can’t go back and I would be looking to find someone else.

All these people saying ‘sack her!’ have obviously never had to rely on a nanny.

OP if she is good then I would let her know you’re not happy with having no notice like this, tell her you won’t be paying her any more sick pay than is in her contract, and it will not happen again, then move on.

If she’s not great anyway then I’d start looking for a new nanny.

Nowt else you can do really, you can’t start lengthy battles and arguments with domestic staff it just doesn’t work.

I would be looking for a new nanny. She's not reliable and I wouldn't have some random relative foisted onto me.

I work in the public sector in Scotland and we don't get sick leave for elective surgery.

Edit: I meant to quote

Neurodiversitydoctor

In the NHS it absolutely would be paid sick leave. I don't know about other organisations.

Your nanny clearly had the surgery planned in advanced. Therefore, she's taking the piss, if she honestly thinks contacting her employer the day after her planned procedure to say she'll need 3-4 weeks off work, is acceptable.

It's immaterial if she's a nanny or works in a factory, you don't spring this on your employer!! Any procedure that requires time off work, needs to be notified in advance, so the employer can make alternative arrangements.

This isn't a case of your nanny falling down some stairs and breaking her ankle, and needing time off work to recover. That's an accident, and we all know accidents happen unexpectedly. It can't be helped. Planned cosmetic surgery is very different, it's not an emergency or unexpected.

Personally, I'd take a copy of the Nanny's contract of employment to a solicitor and seek legal advice. You need to make sure you follow the employment law of the country you are living in, so there's no come back onto you. I would have thought you'd be within your rights to terminate her employment. Whatever happens you need to find a temporary new nanny, at the very least.

The “nannies” there are really glorified maids and don’t have the capacity to think about their work ethic ans the effect on the employer due to their absence.

Wtf.

What are you aiming to do here OP? You said she’s like family so I assume you don’t want to sack her?

YANBU. I don't know if I would necessarily fire her if she's been with you for that long and you haven't mentioned any other issues. But you're NBU.

A huge amount of people use paid childcare,
OP isn’t unusual.

She's an employee of 18 months, not a family member.

She sprang a nearly month long pre planned leave with no notice on you, I think that's grounds for firing. Find a new nanny. P

Most ridiculous post so far.

She should have warned you so you could plan.

imo the lack of discussion is a red flag.
I also think it speaks to a certain (shitty) attitude to take three weeks! holiday and plan your elective cosmetic surgery at the very end...

If you dont just fire her...( which I'd be inclined to do)

I would be telling her you consider this time off paid annual leave not sick leave and then I'd be looking for a new nanny because she will pull this trick again.
Then Pro-rata the holiday back off her finally salary.

She's taking the piss massively.

The OP's domestic set up was always going to cause some ructions on the thread.

In every job I've had this would be unpaid leave at the express permission of the employer. It's elective cosmetic surgery that should have been planned and agreed far in advance.

This would have been immediate dismissal in at least one job I've had (I'm absolutely certain of this, and serious performance implications at least in every other one) with zero chance at tribunal. Unbelievably CF.

What is the employment law where you are op?

You are right to be annoyed; without no prior warning how does she think you'll manage?don't pay her 'time off' as this could be the start of her possibly taking liberties especially as you treat her 'like family'
And as for the 'cousin' you don't know them
It's up to you but I'd get another nanny
Or,
If you want to keep this one, rewrite her contract with legal help? so anything again like this and she goes

Yeah that's really not the case though is it?

I had a scheduled surgery last year and had four months off work, fully paid.

A colleague had a tummy tuck a couple of months after I returned and was incensed to discover their leave would be unpaid. Then they came back after 3 weeks, got an infection and tried going off sick...and was further incensed when they were told any further bouts of leave due to the surgery would also be unpaid.

When it comes to surgery then many employers will absolutely differentiate between cosmetic and necessary.

In parts of the world, it’s normal to have paid household staff. In fact we are encouraged by my husband’s employer to employ local staff.

We attend diplomatic functions once or twice a week and sometimes travel in the region with an overnight stay. Who would you suggests takes care of the children? In our home country my parents would help but we don’t have family here.

It was still a totally stupid point that the poster attempted to make.