Would you find this invitation cheeky?

[christmasnamechangeforthelotofthem]

Just looking for opinions

i have a friend who has a birthday coming up in feb. to celebrate, she wants to hire a private dining room and have a dinner with friends.

after running through some options, she’s found the minimum spend for the place is £1500. She’s not sure who she wants to invite yet, as in hasn’t confirmed numbers. She’s sent a message to those already on the list (including me) saying:

“Hi guys

I’d love if you could join me in celebrating my birthday on 14th Feb 26. We will be going to X at 8:30pm for a fun night of food and drinks then on to X for cocktails.

The pricing is looking to be around £170 per person to meet minimum spend at restaurant. Obviously this is going to vary depending on numbers on the night.

I need to put a deposit down of £750 to secure the date so would appreciate if you could confirm and transfer your share which I will then deduct at the time.

cant wait!”

now a few things..

1. I’m happy to go but somethings not sitting right with me
2. Surely she should foot the deposit then be reimbursed by attendees?
3. All attending aren’t friends so I imagine the price per head will vary wildly based on what drinks are being ordered (we’re usually a split equally amongst the group type of friendship)
4. If people drop out (likely) the price is going to go up even further. I get that this is the norm however due to the already variable cost it could basically end up 3-4 people footing a £1500 tab?

do you think it’s a little cheeky? How would you approach this? I don’t want to decline the invite but I do want to make clear I don’t want to have to consider further costs. It’s also worth noting that this restaurant is about 2 hours away in another city so will be factoring in travel and hotel probably as well

You suggest she cekebrayes the week before or the week after. The min spend is due to Valentine's Day. I wouldn't play.

£170 for a night out as a minimum?! No I don’t think so! I would decline the meal and just go for the drinks after. I’ve never spent £170 on a meal for MYSELF!

Unfortunately not, we’ve checked and that is standard no matter the date.

I feel like if she wants to celebrate somewhere that expensive then she needs to cover at least £1k+ of the minimum spend, if not all of it!

This is exactly what I thought to myself! People's entitled behaviour knows no bounds, the only way to respond to this sort of nonsense is to say a big fat NO.

£170??? Is she mad?

And that doesn’t even include cocktails at wherever you’re off to after.

Good grief, about 20 reasons there not to attend!

It could cost you hundreds.

YANBU to decline. I would do my own much lower key thing with her.

Unless of course you are rich and the finances aren't an issue for you. I hope you are because otherwise it does make her sound extremely princessy expecting people to pay a huge amount for what is basically a meal.

You'd be mad to agree to this imo, unless you're rich I suppose. Other people will definitely drop out, so your costs will go up and up.

Unless you’re all super wealthy, then that’s completely nuts!

I don't know your circumstances, but I would have to respond to that by saying that, sorry, with travel and hotel costs, and the uncertainty regarding the numbers and the final costs, the event is likely to end up outside our budget.

She wants a birthday party basically, so she needs to pay for it. Cheeky fucker.

Fuck me. £170 plus travel and all the rest of it 😂 I'd be "busy" that weekend. Hopefully others will be too and she'll get the message.

Oh for goodness sake how entitled is she! Expecting folk to pay all that!!!

She has champagne tastes on a lemonade budget for sure!

If one of my friends sent me this they'd just get a laughing emoji as an answer.

Who does she think she is that people are happy to throw a couple of hundred on her birthday celebration????

I would absolutely decline to go and suggest going out with her for birthday drinks another time.

To expect guests to fork out a minimum of £170, plus possible travel and hotel expenses, is thoughtless and selfish. Then I suppose she may expect a gift too!

An absolute no from me - and I would be upfront that I simply cannot afford it. You won’t be the only one thinking this, even if they can afford it.

She sounds a bit of a diva.

I would decline, and I expect a lot of people will also be ‘unavailable’ as they want to spend valentines spread out on a sheepskin rug with their lover.

She is massively unreasonable to choose such an expensive venue and expect guests to foot the bill. If she has expensive tastes then she needs to pay!

Clearly this private room is designed for more people than she is inviting….

I have only spent £170 on a meal for myself once or twice in my life, and it was a very lovely amazing experience, but not one I’d be up to treating a friend to. 😂 That is not special birthday meal out level of dining.

I’d simply say, sorry, that’s outside of what I’m comfortable spending. Happy to just meet you later for drinks.

Unless there is a drip feed that you are all super wealthy and this is a mere drop on the ocean for you, then I would decline. That is just for the food, not including cocktails and you risk being left on the hook if people drop out

Decline the meal and just meet for a couple of cocktails. Be truthful and say you haven’t the budget for it.
it’s unreasonable to expect people to pay £170.

@christmasnamechangeforthelotofthem if it's that proce very single night then I think you and your other friends need a little word. If she were sufficiently wealthy for this gaff, she'd be paying for the meal and you guys would contribute to the drinks - £50 quid pp tops.

There may be just you and her at this place ,£750 quid each .Every one else out having a nice valentines meal with there partners.

Only if I really wanted to go😆otherwise no chance!