Would you find this invitation cheeky?

[christmasnamechangeforthelotofthem]

Just looking for opinions

i have a friend who has a birthday coming up in feb. to celebrate, she wants to hire a private dining room and have a dinner with friends.

after running through some options, she’s found the minimum spend for the place is £1500. She’s not sure who she wants to invite yet, as in hasn’t confirmed numbers. She’s sent a message to those already on the list (including me) saying:

“Hi guys

I’d love if you could join me in celebrating my birthday on 14th Feb 26. We will be going to X at 8:30pm for a fun night of food and drinks then on to X for cocktails.

The pricing is looking to be around £170 per person to meet minimum spend at restaurant. Obviously this is going to vary depending on numbers on the night.

I need to put a deposit down of £750 to secure the date so would appreciate if you could confirm and transfer your share which I will then deduct at the time.

cant wait!”

now a few things..

1. I’m happy to go but somethings not sitting right with me
2. Surely she should foot the deposit then be reimbursed by attendees?
3. All attending aren’t friends so I imagine the price per head will vary wildly based on what drinks are being ordered (we’re usually a split equally amongst the group type of friendship)
4. If people drop out (likely) the price is going to go up even further. I get that this is the norm however due to the already variable cost it could basically end up 3-4 people footing a £1500 tab?

do you think it’s a little cheeky? How would you approach this? I don’t want to decline the invite but I do want to make clear I don’t want to have to consider further costs. It’s also worth noting that this restaurant is about 2 hours away in another city so will be factoring in travel and hotel probably as well

That’s bonkers. I don’t mind paying for a standard meal to celebrate with a friend but £170 plus travel and hotel would be if I was going away for the weekend with a close friend or something, not a group meal out. I actually did this for my 40th, went away for a weekend with a close friend, and I paid for most of it.

Um - absolutely obscene amount to pay for a birthday meal! And I speak as someone who paid to take my friends to Barcelona for the weekend for a big birthday (not tight). You need to tell her this is excessive, unless you are mega-rich of course, and that she needs to plan something a bit smaller scale.

Not a chance I’d accept this invite. That’s an outrageous sum for someone’s birthday meal.

Hard no from me! Cheeky mare.

YANBU. If she wants to go somewhere that expensive, she needs to foot most/all of the bill herself. Otherwise she should pick somewhere more affordable.

Does this friend have form for this?

What does the £170 actually include?

That is madness and it would be a huge No from me

Absolutely no way.
I enjoy Michelin star restaurants and dining “experiences “ but I would really really struggle with this. It’s really grabby and risky.

Wow, is this real?! Would love to know whether you're all incredibly wealthy as this is a crazy amount for an evening, especially if you have travel/accommodation on top. Madness!

I wouldn’t pay that even if I really wanted to go! As a non-drinker, I would not be happy to pay that much to subsidise others either.

She’s basically splitting the cost of her birthday party between all of you, which is extremely cheeky. She should be covering at least a grand of that £1500, if not all of it!

maybe missing the point/showing my age, but don’t you have cocktails before the meal, not afterwards when you’re stuffed?

if you want a big, glittery, instafriendly photo op of a birthday meal, you have to pay the lion’s share yourself. Otherwise you’re just at a group dinner which happens to be taking place on your birthday.

I’m always absolutely baffled at people that think this is an acceptable thing to ask of others 🙄🙄 along with excessive stag/hen dos.

If I wanted to celebrate my birthday with friends and wasn’t footing the whole bill myself then I would make sure it was somewhere easily accessible to my friends - both location and cost wise!!

It would be a no from me. I’m sure most people would be pissed off at that amount of money for a meal and also having to find the money now just after Christmas.

Oh dear. Is she one of those 'influencer in the Cotswolds-lifestyle' people who can't actually afford it herself but wants it for social media perchance?

Laugh it off and just say everyone's skint and peopled out this time of year, and you'll see her for a drink of two with your mates in the pub.

My circumstances 12 months ago I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid at this. However over 12 months I’ve lost everything and had am now having to declare bankruptcy. She knows this.

Yes I would find it very cheeky

she will probably meet someone and go out with them on valentines!!!

ooo is she panicking about her bday being that day and trying to get you all to sign up

I wouldn’t go - it’s a couples night and boring for groups - wrong atmosphere

I’d decline. I have no issue with a set menu and minimum spend but I just can’t afford £170 minimum and definitely couldn’t budget for it not knowing what the final price is.

I also don’t mind paying a deposit in advance. It’s the amount and the risk of it increasing that would worry me.

Even more reason not to sign up

it will be double prices that night

I'd want a weekend away for that amount, crazy price

Nah i would be staying home with a takeaway and a large glass of pinot.
Your friend needs to lower her expectations drastically

You are in no position for such a ridiculous night out, say no.

You can’t invite people to a party then expect them to pay, that is absolute madness!

I wouldn’t go as
if not many go it’ll be more than that PLUS drinks
not a chance!

I can't believe you're even thinking of not declining this invite! Even without this huge drip feed it's a ludicrous amount of money to spend but in light of this update it's absolute insanity to be considering attending!

I would decline and say you will meet her for drinks afterwards. Fuck that who has that kind of money to spend on one meal for themselves.