Have I overstepped here and what do I do

[AirheadMonent]

I posted about a man sending offensive videos and offensive messages to a woman along with naked pictures. It's a vulnerable person and looking like grooming as she's believing it's a relationship. I contacted the police who won't intervene because she's not complaining.

I put a post on the community Facebook page asking if anyone knows a man by the name of (and then gave his nickname). No other information than that. A woman replied saying it's her dad. She's private messaged me asking if everything is ok.

What would you do?

Well, what was your intention when you posted on Facebook? I really can't imagine.

To confirm that he is who I thought he was.

Do I ignore her or do I tell her that her dad's a sick old pervert?

why is she vulnerable ?

The Police can get imvolved (depending on why you say she is vulnerable)

Adult Safeguarding might also be an option

You were Unreasonable to put anything on social media. You were not Unreasonable to contact the police.

Police have said they can't get involved as no crime has been committed as she's not put in a complaint. She's vulnerable through serious illness, having therapy for depression and anxiety and being housebound and lonely so she seizes on attention.

Don't call her dad a pervert, if you are going to involve yourself then you need to keep your head straight and stick to the facts. You could share the screenshot, tell her that the woman is vulnerable, and ask her to let her dad know as he might not be aware. That way you are not slandering anyone but will get a message to him that someone is looking after the vulnerable woman's interests.

Edit: how would this woman feel to know you had done this? Thats something else to consider.

He's fully aware of her illness and disability.

You posted on SM with the intention of outing him, surely?

Because you knew people would be asking why

I've got the post removed now.

I'm asking what do I say to his daughter.

I'm sure he is, but my suggestion was what to say to his daughter that gets the message across without getting you in trouble

Right thanks.

It was supposed to be a reply to your earlier post

No, you cannot just go accusing her dad of being a pervert

The most you can do is "I think he's dating a friend of mine and I just wanted to see if it was the same person"

He's not dating, they've never met and he's very much married. He sent wanking videos and full frontal pictures of himself in a pair of socks and a Christmas hat saying Jolly Old St Prickolas.

I agree that you should stick to facts and exclude any emotions or conclusions or judgments out of your message.
something along the line: so and so contacted regularly my relative/ friend (I don’t remember who is this vulnerable person to you) sending videos and different messages and I was worried if it’s a real person or some sort of scam.

Don’t try to make a clever response- the simpler the better.

What do you think he is after? Getting off on exposing himself or actually trying to get her to believe they're in a relationship then get money off her?

Facebook - see if you can now find him on there and show to your friend that he's married. Don't mention searching for him

This is a great idea, the 'has he been hacked?'approach means it will get dealt with without having to say anything incriminating on your end

She knows he's married. He tells her when his wife is out so he can do naked FaceTime.

I thought of simply asking the daughter if she could get his phone and check his Messenger messages to this woman.

If he's confronted by her or her mother he'll just delete the evidence and carry on.

You’re doing the right thing but following this through. I would tell her but just say that he’s sending inappropriate messages to your friend who is vulnerable.

The other thing here though is, unless your friend has a severe learning disability, shes an adult who gets to make her own decisions. Is it right for her to be sexually messaging a married man? No, but thats her informed mistake to make. You didn't mention was disability she has, but depression and anxiety doesn't mean she can't engage with whoever she wants sexually. And the fact they are facetiming naked together, it sounds like she is up for it? She's not underage or the police would be involved, so what is your core concern?

Ya I would go with the my friend us a vulnerable person, she is getting these videos/calls saying its this person. I want to make him aware that this is happening has he been hacked etc.

Your dad is a perve will not get a good response.

She's got a history of depression over relationships. All online relationships and she goes into meltdown when she gets blocked, leading her to neglect herself.

She's diabetic and had a long spell in hospital with complications recently. This man tried to show up at the hospital. She focuses on these men and neglects herself. She also has a life limiting illness and won't leave the house and has mobility problems. He's playing on this for sexual kicks.

The other concern is who else he's doing it with and what images he has on his devices.

ita Nutty as fuck to suggest to his daughter that she should check his phone. It comes across that you are over involved in your friends business

Ok then.

I don't think he's after money, it's the flasher thing.

Ah no it which case you have completely overstepped in my opinion. You cannot stop your friend from having sexual relationships on her behalf. It's not your business.