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AIBU?

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Original poster

To end it after I found my boyfriend on the sex offenders list

178 replies

Hallb · 29/12/2025 00:23

I’ve been with my boyfriend 6 months, I knew in the past he had been to jail. He mentioned something about weed, he has turned his life completely around and I had no reason to believe otherwise

he lives in my city but for some reason tonight I Googled him in his home town. I found something that made me sick to my stomach

he is on the sex offenders list. 10 years ago he was an 18 year old man charged with sexual conduct with an under 13 year old. I cannot believe it. I feel sick, my hands are sweating and if I knew this about him I would never have dated him. Part of me wants to confront him for not telling me, part of me wants to hear his explanation even though I know he will try and explain it away. Im heartbroken, he has to register as a sex offended for 25 years. I’m embarrassed, and feel kind of violated. Am I over reacting? I just don’t know what to think at all.

i 100% do not agree with what he’s done, there’s no explanation in the world that would make me stay with him

OP posts:
Littlejellyuk · 29/12/2025 01:08

Bedtimeread · 29/12/2025 01:03

You need to do a Claire’s law, who knows what else you don’t know. You need to ensure your safety and get away from him.

This 👆 💯 👏
You need to break up with this fella ASAP.
He is paedophile. 🤢 and god knows what other risks he may pose to you! 😨

This poster nailed it.
Claire law 👏
@Hallb

Oxo01 · 29/12/2025 01:09

Just end it with him, make up something and block.

blubberyboo · 29/12/2025 01:21

There is no future with this man. If you got pregnant then child protective services would always be involved. You’d never feel safe with him as the father.

Find a way to break it off without revealing what you know. He will only gaslight you into believing it was some sort of error.

Heresto26 · 29/12/2025 01:30

Hallb · 29/12/2025 00:27

I understand I have to end it. I feel strangely angry at him? He’s done his time and all of that however I feel l like he’s taken my autonomy away by being this person and pretending he is not

i want to text him something so sarcastic like thanks for letting me know you’re a registered sex offender. I know this won’t help my mind is just all over the place.

I’ve been trying to read up on it but can’t really find much information, just that she was under 13 😕

Strangely angry? There's absolutely nothing strange about your anger. You are 100% correct to be feeling furious. He is disgusting and has lied to you about something like this! No excuse. I'm so glad you found out so you can get this monster out of your life! I wouldn't even bother having it out with him . Just tell him it's over and block him for good.

LemaxObsessive · 29/12/2025 01:40

jaelato1 · 29/12/2025 00:34

OP lives in the US, that kind of info readily available there

Show quote history

Yes I know it is, I didn’t realise she was in the US u until after I’d posted. I’ve been saying for years that the USA needed to tighten up their data protection laws but I guess not in this case. If only we had access to this kind of info on partners within Google

DreamTheMoors · 29/12/2025 01:42

Okay.
Are you positive it’s him?
Is there a photo confirming it?
Could it be his dad - i.e. Jr./Sr. situation?
Duplicate name with someone across the country or in an adjoining state?

Are you 100% sure it’s him?

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
You don’t deserve it.
Sending love ❤️

Tattiana · 29/12/2025 01:44

Just make something up and draw a line. You don’t need to tell him the real reason.

DreamTheMoors · 29/12/2025 01:49

Hallb · 29/12/2025 00:28

I don’t even think I’m unreasonable I just needed to talk it out. I’m far too embarrassed to tell any of my friends

and yes he was 18 at the same school as this young girl. The articles specifically say under 13 so god knows how old she was

Yeah BUT you haven’t done anything wrong.

Maybe you should repeat that to yourself over and over and over and over and over again until YOU learn to believe it - like everybody else does.

Theslummymummy · 29/12/2025 01:52

You're underreacting imo.

What on earth do you mean by he mentioned something about weed? and you left it there and didn't push for more info???* *

Original poster
Hallb · 29/12/2025 01:54

To answer some questions

yes it’s 100% him, pictures from when he was arrested to recent pictures. Complete with DOB and middle name

I also don’t really care about a weed possession charge when you’re a teenager, I didn’t press because it’s not a big deal to me personally. He isn’t like that now, some things I can give a pass to

this however I cannot

OP posts:
Daisychain67 · 29/12/2025 02:01

Voted yabu by accident! You’re not being unreasonable!

AbbaCadaBra · 29/12/2025 02:04

LamentableShoes · 29/12/2025 00:33

I can't quite understand why you dated someone who'd been to prison - "mentioning weed" wouldn't have satisfied me as to what he'd actually done.

Anyway you know now and obviously you can't have a relationship with a convicted paedophile. I do feel for you feeling angry, but tbh I think you're better making your excuses perhaps... he could turn nasty.

I agree with this. You don't really know him or what he might be capable of. Don't engage with him. Just end it.

silverwrath · 29/12/2025 02:12

Hallb · 29/12/2025 00:23

I’ve been with my boyfriend 6 months, I knew in the past he had been to jail. He mentioned something about weed, he has turned his life completely around and I had no reason to believe otherwise

he lives in my city but for some reason tonight I Googled him in his home town. I found something that made me sick to my stomach

he is on the sex offenders list. 10 years ago he was an 18 year old man charged with sexual conduct with an under 13 year old. I cannot believe it. I feel sick, my hands are sweating and if I knew this about him I would never have dated him. Part of me wants to confront him for not telling me, part of me wants to hear his explanation even though I know he will try and explain it away. Im heartbroken, he has to register as a sex offended for 25 years. I’m embarrassed, and feel kind of violated. Am I over reacting? I just don’t know what to think at all.

i 100% do not agree with what he’s done, there’s no explanation in the world that would make me stay with him

'part of me wants to hear his explanation'

Explain what? Surely it's self explanatory. He's a sex offender.

And it's over.

Thank god you found out before you were more committed, ie marriage and kids.

LovesLabradors · 29/12/2025 02:16

Awful shock OP - if he's on the sex offenders surely he should have disclosed that to you before you got in a relationship. How can these men just go around dating & having relationships with women when they've done this??
He could date a woman who had an under-13 daughter or sister, putting them directly at risk?!
You must be sickened- so sorry.

LovesLabradors · 29/12/2025 02:17

ps. I wouldn't be bothered about weed either.

Bones101 · 29/12/2025 02:20

Jesus christ.

I'd honestly play it cool for a week or two then say you're not feeling it. Do not mention that you know.

AgentBalls · 29/12/2025 02:24

Bedtimeread · 29/12/2025 01:03

You need to do a Claire’s law, who knows what else you don’t know. You need to ensure your safety and get away from him.

I don’t think Clare’s law exists in the USA, but it’s worth OP doing research for the US equivalent or if there’s a scheme like that in her particular state.

WallaceinAnderland · 29/12/2025 02:31

I knew in the past he had been to jail. He mentioned something about weed

So you didn't actually ask him what he was sentenced for?

I can't believe he only has to register for 25 years. He's a paedophile, he's not going to grow out of it.

batsh1ttery · 29/12/2025 02:37

A relationship of 6 months? Just end it and be rid of him. You can give any reason or none at all and block him on everything. You don’t need to think through it any more deeply. He is a paedophile and needs to be out of your life right now. Contact the police to have it recorded that you’ve ended the relationship but are worried about the consequences. As PPs have mentioned, there must be some kind of Claire’s law or Sarah’s law in the USA. Find out and do an application. Further documented protection evidence.

GreenFriedTomato · 29/12/2025 02:59

@batsh1ttery OP has already stated she has used Megan's Law to find the records and information

Chickensky · 29/12/2025 03:10

Then don't. Just stop seeing him. It must be a huge shock. But let all ties go. You owe that man nothing. Take care of yourself. Block him, ignore him.

strangle · 29/12/2025 03:25

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/12/2025 03:43

It must have been a huge shock

agree weed wouldn’t have bothered me

of at same school she must have been 11-12

awful to know and think about what happened

you know you need to break it off and I wouldn’t mention to him why as he may become nasty

HappyNYx · 29/12/2025 04:11

Do not mention that you know OP. Play it cool as someone else has said. Then break it off. You don't know how nasty he could turn.

I once started dating someone and I typed in his name on Google after a month once I knew his last name. This is different to yours but it turned out he had been drink driving, crashed his car into road signs and ran off from the Police. He didn't get prison but he had his licence taken from him for about 3 years. It was only about 3/4 years prior so he had only got his licence back about 6 months before we started dating. I never told him I knew as he could turn nasty towards me so I called it a day and said I wasn't feeling it.

mathanxiety · 29/12/2025 04:40

Text him to break up.

Then block him immediately.

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