Feeling really let down...

[SpookyTeacup]

Just been told by DH that I have no Christmas present this year as it hasn't arrived. I've got a feeling its exactly what I told him under no circumstances is he to buy me (sexy lingerie/nightwear) due to his reaction when I asked him if it was that - '.... no... why?'. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and I feel huge, disgusting and hate how much weight I've gained. I couldn't feel further from sexy if I tried. All I've asked for is a nice big pair of PJ bottoms that I can be comfortable in and will become part of my hospital bag. I'm dreading Christmas now because I feel like I'm going to end up crying the entire day, but also feel like I'm acting like a spoiled brat.

You’re not being a spoiled brat at all, he’s an absolute git for a) leaving it too late and (b) not getting you what you asked for when it’s such a reasonable request.

personally I would very honestly and clearly tell my husband how disappointed and unvalued I felt and suggest that he has time tonight and tomorrow to find a solution and slightly redeem himself.

I've told him how upset I'll be and I'm hoping he uses his brain to get something last minute tomorrow - not sympathy flowers!! But something tells me he'll be spending his day playing video games instead.

Plus, family are coming tomorrow lunch as we're doing Christmas a day early so I really cant see it happening 😪

You don’t not have a present ‘because it didn’t arrive’ - it’s because 1) he left it too late so the missing parcel is now an all-or-nothing situation; 2) he didn’t attempt replace it with something else when it didn’t turn up - the shops are currently open and there is simply no excuse.

I am very much hoping he got you something better than PJs and just wants it to be a surprise. If he didn’t, read him the riot act.

I'm expecting a satin nightdress or some lingerie because pyjamas 'aren't sexy' 🥲 I really just want some pyjamas for comfort and being in hospital. I'd be really happy with that!! Looks as though I won't be getting anything though. Half tempted to hold his gifts back and return them as I went out of my way to get what he wanted, something he needed and something he'd like.

Is this your first baby, OP?

I’m seeing some red flags here. Are those his words about pyjamas not being ‘sexy’?

In all seriousness OP, I would be furious with him and would be shoving any lingerie he got me into his gaming console and lobbing out of an upstairs window. Don't let him treat you like shit.

Send his presents back. Selfish wanker.

Is he familiar with the concept of going into a shop? If he gave a damn he would be at the shops tonight/first thing tomorrow.

It really doesn't bode well for child-rearing. I would hazard a guess you will be doing 90% of the work.

Shops are open tomorrow so no excuse.
Even supermarkets will have lovely pjs.

If you don't have a gift then he gets nothing..
Is this normal for him?

But the shops are open tonight and all day tomorrow. Seriously OP, talk to him now. He may not realise what a nob he’s being. This might be salvageable 🤞

First and only baby. IVF miracle, only surviving embryo. Took 10 years.

If that PC gets switched on tomorrow it'll be going out of the window with him.

Without doubt I will be crying on Christmas morning when I've got nothing, then heading over to my mums alone. I was hoping to make the most out of this Christmas as its the last one on our own, but just feel completely deflated now and want to take the tree down.

I did tell him over dinner that I'd be extremely upset if he gets me nothing. He chuckled as though I was joking and gave me the whole 'I ordered it premium delivery a week ago'. Makes me think its coming from China too. I run an online business and everything I sent out second class last week has now been delivered, so it's definitely not coming from the UK.

I would tell him to go out first thing and get you something nice, not lingerie or anything 'sexy' which is a crap gift whether you're pregnant or not!

Also, it's a real shame that you think you are huge and disgusting - you're not, you're pregnant! Think how amazing your body is, growing another human, and love it for the incredible job it's doing!

I have quite bad body dysmorphia and have always hated myself. Lost over 8 stone before pregnancy and being 'big' again is making me spiral a bit, which is why I definitely do not want to be wearing anything sexy and why I'll get seriously upset if that's what he's done 🙁

If he's actually ordered anything... if it actually arrives

'Oh you must be very disappointed that it's not arrived. Tell you what, let's wait for it to arrive and then we can exchange gifts together, that way you won't feel bad that I've got you a gift and I don't have one...'

Smile and then tell him you are also very disappointed. With him. And Christmas same bloody date every year so he had 365 days to plan.

I hope you've just bought him socks.

Definitely don't give him his gifts until he's sorted something for you.

What, he only ordered you one present? What’s his excuse for the rest?
Hes got all day tomorrow to sort something, so make clear that’s what you expect. Has he got form for slacking on the present front? If family are coming for lunch he’ll have to get up early, won’t he?

You're pregnant, 30 weeks - I gave birth at 36 - and he's playing video games?!

God help you.

I would also be annoyed at only one present. Why no chocolate/favourite indulgent food as a gift? Why no jewellery/perfume/new bag? A new book? A game / hobby item?
I would insist he goes out at 9am to buy you something (thoughtful, not just tat) even if it’s just from Tesco.
And I would hide his pc stuff in a cupboard!

Is this normal behaviour for him? Because you’ve obviously been with him over 10 years now. It’s really not a normal relationship to be crying over your gifts on Christmas Day and going to your mums.

Return whatever you bought for him and treat yourself to whatever you want.

Family have just left. I did say to him before they got here that the shops are still open and he just laughed.

Definitely won't be getting his tomorrow and I feel like a right mug. Merry Christmas. Will head to the shops on boxing day and go treat myself to something nice.

@Didimum please keep your comments regarding my pregnancy to yourself. Infertility is not something to be poking fun at.

Also, he hasn't done this to me before but he's been nothing short of an arsehole lately

This is a really mean response. I mean why bother.