To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

[StrawberryCreamField]

Would you be happy with this? DD (18, her birthday was last week) wants to go out to a nightclub on Christmas Day. I don’t think she should as Christmas Day is a day to spend with family and for her to spend with us and her siblings and she could go out on any other day/night. DD is still saying she wants to go out though. DH thinks I’m being unreasonable and he thinks it’s fine for her to go out on Christmas Day. AIBU?

Is a nightclub open on Xmas day? Surely not!

I don't know any that are open on Christmas day?

Mine always went clubbing on Christmas eve.

She's 18, it's up to her how she spends the day. You might have an idea of how Xmas day 'should' be spent but its doesnt mean the rest of the family have to agree. Presumably she would be with you all day until later on in the evening?

I thought that too but DD reckons that the one she wants to go to is open.

Nightclubs open at about 11pm don't they? Presumably the rest of the family will be heading to bed when she's on her way out. She'll still be spending the day with you?

She is saying she wants to go out from 2pm and then go to the nightclub later on. DH thinks it’s fine but I’m not happy.

YABU she is 18 being with friends is far more enjoyable

Obviously nightclubs (a) don’t open on Christmas Day and (b) open late nights. So there’s something fishy here!

She’s an adult and can make her own choices.

Yes you can say you’d love to have her home for Christmas to spend time together but say it once and leave it.

Dont go on about it or try to say that she can’t.

I wouldn't have a fight about it - presumably she wouldn't be going out until 10pm or so anyway, so she can have a whole family day first?

It's never been my idea of fun but as she's 18 I'd let her make her own choices about things like this.

I think YABU. At 18 she should be free to decide how she spends her Christmas. She’s getting older in a few years time there may be some years you may not see her at all at Christmas. This is how resentment is built. Christmas may be about spending time with family to you but you don’t get to decide what’s important to others.

YABVU

She’s an adult OP. Christmases are going to be different from now on.

When I frequented nightclubs there were many open on Christmas Day. In London anyway.

Probably better than going out on Christmas Eve and being horrifically hungover on Christmas Day.

I am surprised that they are even open Christmas Day, it's usually Christmas Eve/Boxing day.

I wouldn't be too keen if she was going in the middle of the afternoon, but it's a nightclub so surely it won't even open until 11pm, so she can spend the day with you and then go out at night?

Im pretty sure no nightclubs are open on Xmas day.

How is she planning to get there?
How is she planning to get home?
Is she planning to impose herself on someone else's family from 2pm?
How does this impact your own mealtimes etc?

Clubbing on Xmas day evening - no problem. We always went out Christmas night to see friends after the family day.
But missing the Christmas meal by going at 2pm - no. I wouldn’t like that at all.

She’s bullshitting you, fairly obviously. Prob meeting someone…

My PTs son is working in a nightclub in Edinburgh on Christmas day.
We used to eat at 7pm so would not have been happy with my children going out at 2pm but would have compromised to them going out later. They may be adults legally but I think it's just decent to do the family Christmas first then go out later.

It's absolutely fine because 1) she's an adult and 2) she will have seen her family earlier in the day.
She's 18 and she wants to be with her friends, just like we all did at 18. She doesn't need permission, obviously, but it would be nice if her mother could be a bit more enthusiastic!

Compromise by having her stay for dinner and then leave afterwards

She wants to see her mates and why shouldn't she? I think provided she is there to spend time with you all in the morning and you have your meal before she goes then I really don't see the issue. Everyone else can fall asleep in front of a movie and she can spend time with her friends. I don't know why people don't think clubs are open - they definitely are - pubs too! But I would make sure that she knows exactly how she is getting there and back - pre-booking a taxi and the like, because logistics can be really difficult on bank holidays.

There are definitely nightclubs open in London on Christmas Day, and I imagine this is true for other major cities too.

She’s 18, so it’s up to her.

She’s planning to get taxis but is refusing to pre book and says she will work it out on the night which I’m not happy with. She will be missing Christmas dinner too which I’m not happy with.