To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

[StrawberryCreamField]

Would you be happy with this? DD (18, her birthday was last week) wants to go out to a nightclub on Christmas Day. I don’t think she should as Christmas Day is a day to spend with family and for her to spend with us and her siblings and she could go out on any other day/night. DD is still saying she wants to go out though. DH thinks I’m being unreasonable and he thinks it’s fine for her to go out on Christmas Day. AIBU?

I don’t think she’s telling you the truth. Nightclubs don’t open on Christmas Day.

Mine are primary aged. I just think it should the the adult who makes the decision where to spend Christmas without either mum telling them or guilting them into it. It should be for them to consider where they want to be, not you.

Yes they do. Maybe not all but some do.

I think it would be reasonable for you to expect her to be home for Christmas Dinner.

Her wanting to go out afterwards is reasonable and you're all likely to be just sitting around in a food coma anyway surely?

I wonder if this is going to turn out to be one of those teen things where "everyone else is going at 2pm" and she ends up sitting on a sofa somewhere while the "everyone else" finishes up their Christmas dinners?

I honestly thought all nightclubs were shut on Xmas day. Never really thought about people going out.

I would be miffed too at her going out from 2pm. Fair enough if she wanted to go out in the evening but I would also be wondering where she is going during all this time. You say she only recently turned 18, so she is still sixth form age/college. Unless she has a lot of older friends, surely they would also be expected to be seeing family during the day. I would be asking more questions about where she is going and who with.

Yes, they do. Not all of them, granted, but plenty of them do.

And yet that’s what 99% of 18 year olds do on Xmas day. You enjoy getting pissed with your family for the first time and usually start an argument with Great Aunt Margaret culminating in the throwing of mince pies and cackling.

Or was that just me

how will you stop her?

My take is slightly different (but then I have never been much of a clubber!). Sure she is 18 but presumably still lelives at home and you support her living costs etc. Which means that she's very much part of the family and should act like it, even if that means putting on a brave face and eating some pigs in blankets with your parents. I don't like that we should be encouraging young adults to be completely selfish just because they've turned 18. I would point out that you'd like to have christmas dinner together at xpm and after that she's free to do as she wishes.

I think the one thing OP definitely has to enforce is common sense around the taxi question.
No way would I allow her to just hope for the best, given the chances of some predatory bloke working the late Xmas night shift specifically to prowl for drunk and lone young women like Herself.
I’m not being alarmist: this is a big concern in Dublin, for example, and recently a women-only taxi co-op has at last been set up.
There’s just been so many attacks and threats against women trying to get home in the small hours in GB and in Ireland for years, and we aren’t free from risk at all.
I’d at the very least sort out a number for her, proven to connect to a verified and recommended driver/company before agreeing to her plans.

Two of my dc are adults, and one is turning 18 in a few months.

I've always said to them that they should do whatever makes them happy on Christmas.

It's not about me, if they are happy, I'm delighted. They just tell me what their plans are and I work around that.

I would hate them to feel obligated into spending time with me out of guilt.

Apparently some do in London but not many and they're all ticketed in advance.

It would be interesting how you feel when they are adults, but no guilting, it’s just the way it is, they know friends and partners are welcome anytime to join in, they have friends over all the time except Xmas day as all there friends are with there families. It’s only Xmas day, they can do whatever they want they want any other day, though they invited friends over to ours on Boxing Day so will have a houseful, it works for us !

Do you not think that it would be nice if they were to to stay in because they wanted to not because they are told they are have to?

Whilst I wouldn't go out at 2pm on Christmas Day myself, if that is what my 18yr old wanted to do I would support her because the only thing that's going to happen otherwise is she's going to feel she's missing out which in turn will make the day miserable for us all because she's miserable. Not what I would describe as quality family time.

I would rather make the most of the morning and bring lunch forward so we can still enjoy some of the day with her. To add my daughter has always gone to her Dads every other year so we are all very flexible in accommodating what she wants.

Not much you can do to stop her guarantee it will be shit and she won’t want to do it again.

It all sounds very odd. Nightclubs usually are Xmas eve.
I think if she’s 18 at school and living at home she needs to fit in with family. So have Christmas lunch then go out.
Does she realise how expensive taxis are as day and often need pre booking.
My dd is 19 and I wouldn’t be saying ok.

She can do whatever she likes really, she is an adult. But I really do not think she’s going clubbing at 2pm? And she won’t book a taxi? It’s all a bit sus. I think she is going to be doing something else entirely. Secret boyfriend/girlfriend perhaps?

DD is refusing to agree to any compromise. I’m not happy with her not pre booking her taxis either.

and again, how will you stop her?

There are clubs open on Christmas Day but transport may be more of an issue.

My kids and the family play stupid games, will do karaoke, they aren’t miserable, they fully join in so I’m not worried about them being miserable and as I said below they’ve both invited friends over to ours on Boxing Day ! So think they enjoy time with us

I would assume that she’s seeing a boyfriend/girlfriend and she doesn’t want to tell you about them yet, for whatever reason.

I can remember being an older teen though, and to me, Christmas days were pretty boring, generally just a time for sleeping off a hangover.

For the posters asking where nightclubs are open on Christmas Day, we are in Blackpool. But DD hasn’t provided any proof that the nightclub in question is open on Christmas Day though, I only have her word for it.